There are so many stupid things in this post, you guys. Is the virus making us stupider? I think it is making us stupider.

by Therese Odell, posted in Uncategorized

LALALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

For two minutes we’re going to pretend everything is fine and talk about whatever TV bullshit I can find, OK? OK.

Here’s a clip from the reboot of Reno 9-1-1, because you deserve it.

 

In other good news, Fleabag did deservedly well at the Royal Television Society Programme Awards over in the U.K.

Funko is making Schitt’s Creek figurines.

When I saw this dumb tweet from dumb Kim Kardashian West I was filled with rage at how DUMB EVERYTHING IS ALL THE DUMB TIME:

 

First of all, as anyone here on the Gulf Coast knows, that’s not a goddamned lobster. So I went to the comments to confirm that ten zillion other people told her as much before I stepped into the breach. Instead, the comments were SOMEHOW EVEN DUMBER:

 

NO.

 

NO.

 

NO.

Y’ALL. THAT IS NOT A FUCKING LOBSTER? HAS ANYONE EVER SEEN A LOBSTER BEFORE? COME ON.

But then, it made me remember that we canceled — or at least postponed — our annual crawfish boil that we hold for my son’s birthday because he has gone off to college and wouldn’t be home for it, only to have irony come swooping down on all of us and thanks to Covid-19, he WILL be home for his birthday except, and you see where this is going, we can’t have the boil for obvious reasons and the whole thing MADE ME ANGRY ALL OVER AGAIN.

Fortunately, Top Chef judge Tom Colicchio had a calmer head and set Ms. West straight so I didn’t have to:

 

Fox just bought the streamer Tubi for $440 million.

Linda Fairstein is suing Ava DuVernay over her portrayal in When They See Us (and not just because Felicity Huffman portrayed her) because she’s a terrible person.

An upside to social distancing? George R. R. Martin has no minor league baseball games, or comic-cons or movie screenings to attend and he might get around to finishing the GOD DAMNED BOOKS ALREADY.

Here are some really great limited series recommendations for some binge-watching. I, myself, never got around to Godless, and they include one of my FAVORITE zombie series, Deadset, which I JUST CAN NOT RECOMMEND ENOUGH. It’s basically what has actually happened this past week with the Big Brother casts, except with zombies. And it was written by Charlie Booker, the creator of Black Mirror, so you know it’s hilariously dark.

The New York Times also has a good list of true crime docuseries, if that’s your jam. If you haven’t watched Wild Wild Country, GET ON IT.

Would you rather read while you watch TV? Got you covered for that, too. The Returned remains one of my favorite all-time series.

Meanwhile, Gritty is binging LOST:

You still have a chance to tell me which show I should back to recapping. Let me hear it!

Going Viral

Big news: I hit a pandemic milestone when I woke up at 4 a.m. this morning and obsessively checked my phone: I now know someone who has officially been diagnosed with Covid-19.

congratulations confetti high-five celebrate

He’s fine — he is a young man who has relatively mild symptoms. He picked it up at a professional conference in New York City before bringing it back home to Austin. But he feels terrible that he might have unintentionally exposed God knows how many people while he was out and about before we were all put on this social distancing protocol.

I am under no illusion that my friend is the only person I know who has Covid-19 — he’s just the only person I know who has been tested and turned up positive. So please, let this serve as a reminder that you probably know someone — potentially many someones — potentially you — that has this thing and please take it seriously. I don’t want to be one more hectoring voice — you know what to do. Wash your hands, don’t touch your face, stay six feet away from people who don’t live in your house, and make sure to take care of your own mental and physical health.

Go for a walk. It’s the only thing keeping me sane these days.

 

TV shows that have been postponed (don’t worry, it’s a dwindling list):

Savannah Guthrie hosted The Today Show from her home this morning after developing a sore throat and runny nose. Whoopi Goldberg co-hosted The View from her living room and Craig Melvin hosted his MSNBC show from his home.

CBS is moving The Morning Show to the Ed Sullivan theater for the time being.

Showtime is slowing down the release of episodes of Black Monday, from one episode a Sunday, down from two. They are also postponing the debuts of Outcry and Love Fraud.

And NBC is going to slow down their release of The Blacklist, only releasing one episode of The Blacklist instead of two this Friday. IF YOU HAVE “BLACK” IN YOUR TITLE, YOU ARE GOING TO NEED TO SLOW YOUR ROLL.

It will be interesting to see how much the big flashy Upfronts presentations actually mean to the TV business, now that they have been canceled. (Of course, the general economy is going to have taken a big hit by the time the Upfronts virtually happen so ad buyers may not be in the mood to buy commercial time, glitz or no glitz.)

The International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees reported that 120,000 jobs held by its 150,000 members have been lost already thanks to the postponements and cancelations.

Meanwhile, some showrunners are looking out for the assistants.

Meanwhile, the virus has been GREAT for ratings — of course, the networks can’t expect that to last indefinitely.

So, your soap opera has been shut down. How long will it be before it runs out of episodes? General Hospital: the end of April; The Young and the Restless and The Bold and the Beautiful: mid-May; Days of Our Lives: it’s already on hiatus, so …

Feeling lonely? With a Google Chrome extension called Netflix Party, you can Netflix and chill with your pals from a socially responsible distance.

Movies that have been postponed: The Secret: Dare To Dream; Antebellum; Spiral: From the Book of Saw; and Run.

A CNN staffer, Kevin Durant and three other Nets, and Rachel Matthews.

The Canadian border; all Nevada casinos; the New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival; Eurovision; Netflix’s comedy festival; the 2020 Billboard Music Awards; ModelLand; Glastonbury; The Edinburgh International Film Festival; The 2020 Sydney Film Festival; Bonnaroo; Kanye West and Joel Osteen’s Yankee Stadium event (and can we just talk about how gross the Kanye West/Joel Osteen partnership thing is?);

But on the upside, Debbie Allen is hosting dance classes:

Lizzo shared her positivity:

Josh Gad read a kid’s book to his Frozen fans:

 

Yo-Yo Ma played his cello:

And there’s more here.

In the category of Stupidest Thing You’ve Ever Heard That Didn’t Involve Kim Kardashian and a Crawfish: the Qanoners, the crazy MAGA cult who believes that President Can’t Figure Out How to Close an Umbrella is actually some mastermind genius who is taking down the “deep state” and will arrest all of their enemies any second now, believed that Oprah self-distancing was actually a lie to cover up the fact she had been arrested for her involvement in a child-sex-trafficking ring. This incredibly dumb news became so viral, Queen Oprah had to put out a tweet denying it because we live in the stupidest time ever.

Vanessa Hudgens is sorry, you guys:

 

And before we move on from the stupid part of this post, let’s talk about Fox News. The Washington Post helpfully put together this video to show how much changed over the course of about one week:

Of course, Fox News and President Disease Vector are a feedback loop of stupid, so it’s no surprise Fox News’ tune has changed now that President Dipshit is going claiming that he always knew the virus was going to become a pandemic and that he would rate his response to the crisis a 10 on a scale of 1 to 1,000,000 … no, whoops, wait. I meant 10. A scale of 1 to 10.

Here is a timeline of our president, the man in charge of the country, our leader lying or otherwise misleading all of us about Covid-19 for two and a half months. Great job, Skip.

Congratulations, you’ve made it through all that shitnews and you’ve earned this wombat:

 

Cancellations

  • Vida will end on Starz after the third season.

In Development

Mark Your Calendar

 

  • Vice will premiere on Showtime on March 29.

 

R.I.P.

Maggie Griffin, Kathy Griffin’s mother and co-star. She was a hilarious and delightful woman.

 

WATCH THIS

Stumptown: Dex gets intel on Benny’s death. 9 p.m., ABC

Little Fires Everywhere: Reese Witherspoon and Kerry Washington star in this adaptation of the best seller. Series premiere. Hulu

Motherland: Fort Salem: OK: What if, the Salem Witch trials ended in a truce in which the witches cut a deal with the government to use their powers to defend the country instead of being burned at the stake? That’s where we’re starting from in this new series. 8 p.m., Freeform

True Terror with Robert Englund: Because what we need right now is something to scare us. Series premiere. 8 p.m., Travel

Brockmire: Season four (and final) season premiere. Prepare yourself for a time jump. 9 p.m., IFC

American Housewife: Speaking of time jumps: this is moving from Fridays to Wednesdays. 8:30 p.m., ABC

 

WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Goldbergs
(new)		 Schooled
(new)		 Modern Family
(new)		 American Housewife
(new)		 Stumptown
(new)
CBS Survivor
(new)		 SEAL Team
(new)		 S.W.A.T.
(new)
CW Penn & Teller: Fool Us
(repeat)		 Whose Line is it Anyway?
(repeat)		 Whose Line is it Anyway?
(repeat)		 Local
FOX The Masked Singer
(new)		 LEGO Masters
(new)		 News/Local
NBC Chicago Med
(new)		 Chicago Fire
(new)		 Chicago P.D.
(new)

2 thoughts on “There are so many stupid things in this post, you guys. Is the virus making us stupider? I think it is making us stupider.”

  1. “… stay six feet away from people /who don’t live in your house/,”

    Why did you have to add that last bit? My wife and I were getting along so well, then you went to meddlin’.

    jk 😉

    Reply

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