Saturday Night Live
Daniel Craig & The Weeknd
March 7, 2020
Apparently, Daniel Craig hosted Saturday Night Live some eight years ago — and apparently, I wrote about it for Tubular, but I have to be honest with you, I have no memory of this whatsoever. LOOK. A LOT HAS HAPPENED SINCE 2012 AND A LOT OF ALCOHOL HAS BEEN CONSUMED AND HONESTLY CAN YOU BLAME ME? My point is, Daniel Craig, he’s fine as a host. In fact, I’d go so far as to say he exceeded my expectations as a host, but that was only because my expectations were non-existent.
As for the episode itself, it was remarkable in that the cold open was by far the highlight with a delightful cameo by Elizabeth Warren. Otherwise, the episode was completely consumed with Coronavirus, devoting some 4 sketches — a full one-third of the episode — to the pandemic. And just to show that the more things change the more they stay exactly the same: back in 2012 when Daniel Craig hosted last time? I made note that then new cast member Kate McKinnon had completely taken over the show as its breakout star, and Big Bird made a guest appearance … cracking jokes about the SARS epidemic.
Our cold open is the Laura Ingraham show, assuring Fox News viewers that the Coronavirus is all a liberal hoax with help from Jeanine Pirro, the Trump boys, Darrell Hammond’s amazing Chris Matthews impersonation and the real Elizabeth Warren, the woman who could have been President had you people just believed enough. I don’t usually endorse a cold open that goes this long — almost 10 minutes! — but they manage to keep the jokes funny and the flow moving. Also points to Kate McKinnon for her quick change — I genuinely am impressed.
Grade: A
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— Saturday Night Live – SNL (@nbcsnl) March 8, 2020
Daniel Craig’s monologue is mostly just a James Bond sketch, and you know what? THAT’S FINE. It’s not like Craig is famous for his comedy stylings, and considering the new James Bond movie that Craig is on SNL promoting has been pushed back to the fall thanks to the Coronavirus, this is the only Bond material you’re going to have for months. Also, the James Bond sketch is genuinely funny, so there’s that.
Grade: A
So, basically, this is “The Californians” (down to it being the same set) except thanks to Coronavirus, no one can touch each other. Which, you know, ha. I will say that bird is ACTING HIS ASS OFF.
Grade: B
“On the Couch” is an R&B video featuring Kenan Thompson, Chris Redd, and The Weeknd, lamenting that their wives/girlfriends have kicked them to the couch for reasons that the men are not entirely straight-forward about.
Grade: B+
A celebrity chef accidentally offends a famous diva on a daytime talk show, who spends the rest of the segment being insulted and shady. I suspect this was a sketch that was written to showcase Ego Nwodim’s Patti LaBelle-esque character — which is fine, we need more Nwodim on the show — but it feels a little generic and one-joke.
Grade: B-
It’s Debbie Downer and you’ll be shocked to learn that she has some thoughts about Coronavirus. I suspect this makes me An Old, but I really like that Saturday Night Live recognized that not only would this pandemic be a perfect topic for a twenty-year-old sketch, but then went ahead and did it. Nostalgia!
Grade: B+
“Weekend Update” was fine, but “The Weeknd Update” was great.
Grade: A-
I have no idea what this “Bottle Boi” character is supposed to be or what the joke is. Why is that accent? Are we making fun of the homeless? Just … what?
Grade: C
Look, I’m as much of a fan of Cecily Strong’s “Girl You Wish You Hadn’t Started a Conversation With at a Party” as anyone, and I’m glad she’s been dusted off and brought out, but I just don’t know that we needed yet another sketch about the fucking Coronavirus, guys.
Grade: B
In this bit, Beck Bennett is Daniel Craig’s accent coach, but he’s very bad at his job. And then everyone starts puking on each other. Sure.
Grade: C
In this bit, Heidi Gardner and Daniel Craig challenge each other to more and more obscure movie quotes while their other friends are baffled. Craig seems to be genuinely enjoying himself here so even though it, too, is a one-joke sketch, I’ve given it a couple extra points.
Grade: B+
So, you know how recipes from the 50s, 60s, and 70s are completely disgusting piles of disgusting? Some actual recipes include: Perfection Salad which involves gelatin, cabbage, vinegar, and apple juice; Lime Cheese Salad which combines lime Jello, cream cheese, mayonnaise, onion, and seafood salad; or how about Ham and Bananas Hollandaise which is exactly what the name implies? Right, so, those recipes but for some reason in song form.
Grade: B
Final Grade: Solid B.
LOOK AT THIS MOTHERFUCKER ACTING HIS LITTLE BIRD HEART OUT:
Saturday Night Live airs at 10:30/11:30 p.m. Saturdays on NBC.