In today’s Impeachment Corner: John Bolton’s a little tease, Mick Mulvaney is a little coward and Rudy Giuliani’s name is in everyone’s mouth

Impeachment Corner!

Today’s development: Just a little while ago, the House Democrats released the depositions of National Security Council Ukraine expert Lt. Col. Alexander S. Vindman and National Security Council Special Assistant to the President and Senior Director for European and Russian Affairs Fiona Hill.

It’s early yet, and people are still reading through the testimony, but what we know so far: according to Vindman, there was “no doubt” that President Dumbass was seeking investigations into political rivals in exchange for a meeting: “It was a demand for him to fulfill his — fulfill this particular prerequisite in order to get the meeting.”

Additionally, uh, yeah, obviously the Ukrainians knew what President Mob Boss meant when he said “do us a favor, though,” because they aren’t brain damaged.

Also, Vindman testified that The Phone Call’s transcript was not edited in the “normal” process:

Q: In other words, it was on a different system and you had to use a different process to put your edits in?

Vindman: Yes.

As for Hill’s testimony: Bolton urged her to report a troubling meeting they had about Ukraine, and that he called Rudy Giuliani a “hand grenade” as had been reported earlier. Hill also found it “alarming” that President ADD believed that this Kash Patel guy was his Ukraine expert (he was not) and that Patel was providing the president with materials that she did not know about. Hill additionally said she was “shocked” by the transcript of The Phone Call when she read it, both because of the threat against Yovanovitch and by President Corruption’s open pressure on President Zelensky. “I sat in an awful lot of calls, and I have not seen anything like this,” she said. “So I was just shocked.”

Hill backed up Vindman on the whole weirdness of putting The Phone Call in the super-secret server:

Hill said that it was not appropriate for the transcript of Trump’s July 25 call with his Ukrainian counterpart to be put on a secretive system.

“The only circumstances in which that would be conceivable would be if it dealt with highly classified information,” Hill said.

She added that she had no knowledge of H.R. McMaster or John Bolton, the former two national security advisers, agreeing to anything like that.

Hill said she was not even sure who would have to approve such a move.

Also, Hill says Giuliani’s conspiracy bullshit is just that: bullshit: “I am very confident based on all of the analysis that has been done — and, again, I don’t want to start getting into intelligence matters — that the Ukrainian government did not interfere in our election in 2016.”

This, unsurprisingly, has not made Hill popular with the lunatics, and she has been targeted by right-wingers: “I had had accusations similar to this being made against me as well. My entire first year of my tenure at the National Security Council was filled with hateful calls, conspiracy theories, which has started again, frankly, as it’s been announced that I’ve been giving this deposition, accusing me of being a Soros mole in the White House, of colluding with all kinds of enemies of the president, and, you know, of various improprieties.”

Ah, George Soros, who AREN’T you paying, amirite?

Both Vindman and Hill are in talks to testify publicly so make your day drinking plans accordingly.

Yesterday’s deposition was George Kent’s, a senior State Department official in charge of Ukraine policy, the guy who was told to sit down where it came to Ukraine because “the Three Amigos” were now in charge. Kent said in no uncertain terms: “POTUS wanted nothing less than President Zelensky to go to microphone and say investigations, Biden, and Clinton.”

Furthermore, Giuliani had been on a “campaign of lies” against ambassador Marie Yovanovitch: “Mr. Giuliani, at that point, had been carrying on a campaign for several months full of lies and incorrect information about Ambassador Yovanovitch, so this was a continuation of his campaign of lies.” Kent tried to stand up for her at the State Department and was ignored because Secretary of State Mike Pompeo is a cowardly piece of shit.

Meanwhile, after Kent was told to pull back on Ukraine, he was told by Special Envoy Kurt Volker that he had no problem with the investigations that Giuliani was pushing for: “And Kurt’s reaction, or response to me at that was, well, if there’s nothing there, what does it matter? And if there is something there, it should be investigated. My response to him was asking another country to investigate a prosecution for political reasons undermines our advocacy of the rule of law.

this good point

In other impeachment-adjacent news: Mick Mulvaney didn’t show up for his deposition today. I am shocked. This is my shocked face.

John Bolton’s lawyer is being a little tease, insisting that Bolton knows TONS about relevant Ukraine meetings, but that he’s not talking until a court says he absolutely has to. PUT UP OR SHUT UP, WALRUS.

The Republicans, desperate for something, ANYTHING, are attacking the whistleblower, the whistleblower’s lawyer (for the sin of sharing the opinion of a majority of Americans that the President is a dangerous piece of shit) and Lt. Col. Vindman based on a Twitter rumor from some Qanon crazy. Keep up the good work, guys!

Elsewhere, President Mariah Carey suddenly has no idea who Gordon “Call Me” Sondland is:

i don't know her mariah carey

He also doesn’t think we should have public hearings, marking the first time in his life he doesn’t want to watch TV.

Speaking of TV

The Good Place will celebrate the series finale with a 90-minute special episode. The final episode will be extra long and followed by an after show hosted by Seth Meyers. It airs on January 30, y’all.

Yo dawg, I heard you like Star Wars series, so we’re going to just make unlimited Star Wars series. (I have aged myself SO MUCH with that dumb reference, apologies.)

If you have Fire TV, you will be able to get Disney+ after all.

Apparently, Days of Our Lives has had a one-year time jump? CAN YOU EVEN DO THAT ON A SOAP OPERA??

The Holzer Files is a new ghost-hunting series on Travel Channel, based on one Dr. Hans Holzer who is known as the first ghost hunter, and who helped inspire Ghostbusters. Anyway, here’s in an interview with his daughter Alexandra Holzer, who is the star of this new series, because THERE IS NO TV NEWS TODAY FOR WHATEVER DAMN REASON.



  • Fresh Off the Boat has been canceled surprising no one after Constance Wu’s tantrum last spring. It ends after 6 seasons.
  • BH90210 has been canceled at Fox. BOO. But, the cast seems to be hinting that it’s not quite over:

View this post on Instagram

3 things happened this past summer… – 1. #bh90210 was the highest rated show of the summer . – 2. Our #bh90210 cast proved that after 20 years, you indeed CAN go home again… – 3. I didn’t cram myself (with 3 pairs of spanx! ) into a red dress I wore on tv when I was 18 years old for nothin… – Sometimes home isn’t where you ARE but who you are WITH. Together, our #bh90210 family can do anything. We’ve proved that to each other and our loyal fans. We ARE better together. – Our show is so meta that all the reality out there just helps us continue to evolve and gives us GREAT new storylines! The gift that keeps on giving. We aim to keep audiences guessing what will happen next. So stay tuned as our journey unfolds… #bh90210 #onthemove #myhighschooldressfits #miraclesdohappen

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Nick Powell, Producer and director



High School Musical: The Series: Disney is giving you a free taste before they put it behind the Disney+ paywall next week. Series premiere. 7 p.m., ABC

Greatest Events in World War II in Colour: Pearl Harbor and D-Day among others are colorized in this new series. Series premiere.  Netflix

Was I Really Kidnapped?: I DON’T KNOW, WERE YOU? 7 p.m., Lifetime


Sesame Street’s 50th Anniversary Celebration: MY CHILDHOOD. 6 p.m., HBO

Adaptation: Of the crazy Nick Cage movies, of which there are many, this is one of the top five craziest. 9:45 p.m., FLIX


Shameless: Oh, so now Debbie is in charge? This should go well. Season premiere. 8 p.m., Showtime

Back to Life: A woman returns home after spending 18 years in prison in this ~checks notes~ comedy? Ok. Series premiere. 9 p.m., Showtime

Rick & Morty: Season four is here. 10:30 p.m., Adult Swim

Patriot Act with Hasan Manhaj: Season premiere. Netflix

Dublin Murders: It’s an Irish crime drama. I mean, I think it’s all right there in the title. Series premiere. 7 p.m., Starz

The Walking Dead: “Negan is idolized by an Alexandrian” so that is not terrific news. 8 p.m., AMC

Watchmen: Who is this Lady Trieu? 8 p.m., HBO

Late Night:

  • Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Cynthia Bailey, Vivica A. Fox


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