Let’s see what the Impeachment Fairies left for us overnight, shall we?
Yesterday, the depositions of former Ukranian ambassador Marie Yovanovitch and former senior advisor to Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, Michael McKinley, were released to the press. The transcripts were, as most transcripts are, fairly dry reading to be completely honest. But a few things stood out: Yovanovitch testified that she felt threatened by the President of the United States; that she was told she needed to return to the United States because of concerns for her “security”; that she was the victim of a Republican smear campaign; that when she asked the State Department about these attacks on her, she was told that Pompeo would call Sean Hannity to find out what was going on — YOU KNOW, SECRETARY OF STATE SEAN HANNITY; and that Gordon “Call Me” Sondland advised her to tweet flattering things about President Thin Skin if she wanted to keep her job. Because that’s normal and reasonable.
As for McKinley’s testimony: he quit because he believed the State Department was being used for political means, including digging up dirt on a political opponent of the President, something he had never seen done before in his career; that he thought it was BULLSHIT that Secretary of State Mike Pompeo demanded State Department employees not cooperate with Congress on the inquiry; and that he expressed concern for how Yovanovitch was being treated at least three times with Secretary of State Mike Pompeo — which is interesting as here is that lying fucker Pompeo telling George Stephanopoulos the EXACT OPPOSITE THING.
Sec. Mike Pompeo told @GStephanopoulos last month that his then senior adviser Michael McKinley never said "a single thing" about concerns he had about Yovanovitch's treatment.
But McKinley testified he had "probably" 3 conversations with Pompeo about it https://t.co/5QlpzvvqQL pic.twitter.com/eGF5dqdXHJ
— This Week (@ThisWeekABC) November 4, 2019
The other thing the transcripts show is that the Republicans are a bunch of fumbling clowns who don’t know what the fuck they are doing.
More depositions have just been released today: that of European Union Ambassador Gordon “Call Me” Sondland and Special Envoy to Ukraine Kurt Volker. It’s going to take a day or so for people to go through them, so check in tomorrow for the goodies.
What is evident right now, however, is that just this week Sondland was like, “YOU KNOW WHAT? I suddenly remembered some stuff… ” and changed his original testimony to reveal that akshully, maybe he did tell a Ukrainian official that they weren’t going to get their military aid until they publically announced investigations into “corruption.”
This morning, the Democrats requested a deposition from acting Chief of Staff and Director of the Office of Management and Budget, Mick “Of Course There Was a Quid Pro Quo” Mulvaney. AIN’T NO CHANCE Mulvaney is going to cooperate, but Adam Schiff is like, “That’s fine, we’ll just add your non-appearance to our pile of other non-appearances, and we’ll make a lovely Article of Impeachment for obstruction out of it.”
Also on that pile: Michael Duffey, associate director for national security programs at the Office of Management and Budget, and Wells Griffith, an energy adviser at the National Security Council who were supposed to testify today but who are refusing. That’s fine, cowards, Schiff’s already has what he needs.
But not everyone is avoiding testifying: Jennifer Williams, a special adviser to the vice president for Europe and Russia, is going to testify on Thursday. OH SHIT, ARE WE DRAGGING PENCE INTO THIS, TOO? GOOD.
Meanwhile, President Lawless and his cronies are still screaming for the Whistleblower’s head. At a rally in Kentucky last night, Senator Rand Paul demanded that the press publish the name for the Whistleblower. Nevermind the fact that the Whistleblower’s identity is NO LONGER OF ANY RELEVANCE since the transcript has since been released, witnesses have confirmed the quid pro quo and President Asshole DID THE CRIME ON THE SOUTH LAWN IN FRONT OF CAMERAS. No, these fuckers want to reveal the Whistleblower so as to intimidate, humiliate and terrorize them, and to make sure no other patriots come forward in a similar manner. It’s disgusting and shameful.
Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul, with Trump behind him and a roaring crowd of supporters in front, demanded the Ukraine call whistleblower's identity be revealed.
This comes after Trump made a veiled execution threat, suggesting "spies" should be handled like they were "in the old days" pic.twitter.com/PuPZXuVRTD
— POLITICO (@politico) November 5, 2019
And finally, because I could keep going but OMG TOO MUCH, Lev “Fraud Guarantee” Parnas is suddenly interested in cooperating with Congress. Why? Because he’s SUPER PISSED that President “I Don’t Know Her” distanced himself from him.
LOLOLOLOL. GOOD. SING LIKE A BIRD, LEV.
And remember, kids, this is all very simple: The President of the United States used the power of his office to threaten an ally that they would not receive much-needed and Congressionally-granted military aid until they investigated his 2020 rival. IMPEACH!
In Other TV News
Last night’s breakout TV star: this cat. Honestly, if every NFL game featured an angry cat running around on the field, I’d be a much more invested fan.
Halloween isn't over yet 😹 pic.twitter.com/XhLDP3NgJO
— New York Giants (@Giants) November 5, 2019
And while we’re talking about sportsball, this also happened yesterday when some of the Washington Nationals visited the White House:
WATCH: President Trump hugs Nationals catcher Kurt Suzuki after he wears a "Make American Great Again" hat at White House celebration https://t.co/siqf5BiJWB pic.twitter.com/wkuU65sy65
— CBS News (@CBSNews) November 4, 2019
JESUS, WHY IS HE SUCH A WEIRDO ALL OF THE TIME?
Before we move on, I also want to note that not all of the Washington Nationals visited the White House yesterday. Among them, pitcher Sean Doolittle, who explained his decision to The Washington Post:
“There’s a lot of things, policies that I disagree with, but at the end of the day, it has more to do with the divisive rhetoric and the enabling of conspiracy theories and widening the divide in this country. My wife and I stand for inclusion and acceptance, and we’ve done work with refugees, people that come from, you know, the ‘shithole countries,’ ” Doolittle said, referring to Trump’s comments about Haiti, El Salvador and African nations in a January 2018 meeting.
“At the end of the day, as much as I wanted to be there with my teammates and share that experience with my teammates, I can’t do it,” Doolittle continued. “I just can’t do it.”
Also not in attendance: Javy Guerra, Joe Ross, Wander Suero, Wilmer Difo, Michael Taylor, Victor Robles, and Houston’s own Anthony Rendon. Quick personal story: When Rendon was a high school senior, my son’s little league honored him with some award, and I remember being impressed with him then. He graduated from my high school and then went to my husband’s university, so we have a soft spot for him in these parts, a spot that got even softer yesterday when he didn’t attend the White House ceremony.
Hey, there’s going to be another Democratic Presidential Debate. In fact, there will always be a Democratic Presidential Debate. They shall never ever ever end.
Jimmy Kimmel’s reign of terror continues:
The creator of BoJack Horseman laments how Netflix has changed. In an interesting interview, Raphael Bob-Waksberg revealed that Netflix told him “We expect the biggest day ‘BoJack’ Season 1 is going to have is when we launch ‘BoJack’ Season 2.” Meaning, they knew the series would need time to build an audience. However, they canceled Tuca and Bertie after only one season and soon after that season debuted. So, the point is, if you enjoy something on Netflix, don’t assume it will be renewed. Also, he wasn’t ready for BoJack to end.
Armando Iannucci thinks the steaming bubble will burst because TOO MUCH TV. He’s not wrong, the question is just how it all shakes out.
Hollywood assistants are demanding better pay (what they are paid in one of the most expensive cities in the country is pretty terrible), and here are some showrunners who are doing right by their assistants.
Dear The Sunday Times of London: Go fuck yourselves. Dear Daniel Craig: Thank you.
Louis C.K. has begun his world tour. Here’s The New York Times‘ review where they basically point out that we can’t go back home again.
Fox News is still denying the accusations against Tyrus that his co-host Britt McHenry has made against him. Great look, guys.
Former NFL player Kellen Winslow Jr. has pled guilty to raping an unconscious woman in a serial rape case against him.
Ronan Farrow says the accusation of rape lodged against Bill Clinton should be revisited.
French filmmaker Christophe Ruggia has been expelled from the French Director’s Guild after being accused of sexually harassing actress Adèle Haenel, who was a minor at the time. Gross, dude.
- MC Mayans has been renewed at FX for a third season.
- Extra, TMZ, TMZ Live and The Real have all been renewed.
- Titans might have been renewed at DC Universe. It’s not yet official.
- The Equalizer starring Queen Latifah has been given a put pilot order at CBS.
- The Kacy Musgraves Christmas Show is coming to Amazon.
- FLOUIS, a mother-son comedy, is in the works at ABC.
- Clues, a drama from the creator of Madam Secretary, is in the works at CBS.
- A friends comedy from Ben Stiller’s production company is in the works at The CW.
- A documentary about Donald Sterling is in the works at Quibi.
- Sandra Bullock is going to star in an untitled drama on Netflix.
- Carol Burnett will return on the Mad About You reboot.
- Vanessa Hudgens, Alexandra Shipp, and Robin de Jesus are joining the cast of tick … tick … BOOM! on Netflix.
- Eric Balfour is going to recur on Charmed.
- Anne Winters is joining the cast of The Orville.
- Melissa George, Gabriel Bateman, and Logan Polish are going to co-star in The Mosquito Coast on Apple TV+.
- Billy Magnussen is joining the cast of Made for Love on HBO Max.
Mark Your Calendars
- Jeff Garlin: Our Man in Chicago will debut on Netflix on November 12.
- A Christmas Carol will air on BBC sometime next month.
- Shrill will return on Hulu on January 24.
- Dolly Parton: Here She Comes Again will air on ABC on November 12.
- Love & Hip Hop returns on VH1 on December 16.
- Expedition Bigfoot will premiere on Travel Channel on December 4.
- Seven Worlds, One Planet will air on BBC America, IFC, Sundance, and AMC on January 18.
- Aerial America will return on Smithsonian Channel on December 8.
- ABC has announced all of their holiday programming dates if you’re interested.
John McMahon, Former V.P. of programming and talent at NBC and president of Carson Productions
The End of the Fucking World: I NEED TO KNOW IF JAMES IS ALIVE. Season premiere. Netflix
Seth Meyers: Lobby Baby: True fact: Seth Meyers’ wife gave birth to their second son in the lobby of their apartment building and this story is EXACTLY why my husband and I didn’t move back to New York City after he got his law degree: because I was terrified of giving birth in an apartment lobby or the back of a taxi cab or on the subway. Anyway, this is Meyers’ stand-up special. Netflix
The Little Mermaid Live!: It’s The Little Mermaid but with 100% more John Stamos in a bad mustache. 7 p.m., ABC
Famously Afraid: Howie Mandel and other minor celebrities talk about the times they were terrorized by ghosts and aliens and I AM HERE FOR IT. Series premiere. 9 p.m., Travel Channel
She-Ra and the Princesses of Power: Season premiere. Netflix
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Adam Sandler, Jenny Slate, Megan Gailey
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Kristin Chenoweth, Michael Kelly, Sinéad Burke, Brendan Buckley
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Elizabeth Banks, Sen. Amy Klobuchar, King Princess
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Hillary Rodham Clinton, Chelsea Clinton, Sheryl Crow
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Mandy Moore, Josh Lucas, Hootie & the Blowfish
- The Daily Show: Sen. Cory Booker, Edward Norton
- Conan: Bert Kreischer
- Lights Out with David Spade: Bobby Lee, Theo Von
- Watch What Happens Live: Karamo Brown, Gina Kirschenheiter
- A Little Late with Lily Singh: Ewan McGregor, Rebecca Ferguson
|ABC||The Little Mermaid Live!
|NCIS: New Orleans
|This Is Us