Fox News Neil Cavuto is pretending to not work for state media again. DO NOT CONGRATULATE.

Neil Cavuto is the latest Fox News personality to tell President Fake News that he doesn’t work for him after President Dementia cried on Twitter about how mean Fox News was being to him:

And Cavutos’ comments are great! And he’s done this before!

But at the very least, it is lacking in self-awareness, and at the very worst, it is deliberately disingenuous for people like Cavuto and Hume to try to claim that they are not actors on state media. The lie that Fox News has always tried to sell is that because they have two separate modes  — “primetime talking heads with their own opinions” and “daytime real and objective news” — that they can be taken seriously as an unbiased news source. And President Couch Potato, he actually helps them perpetuate this notion that they are unbiased when he goes after them on Twitter for not being obedient enough during the “real news” portion of the programming.

But it’s all a lie. For instance, here is a Fox News newsperson — not one of their primetime talking heads — interviewing a Trump campaign guy who claims there might be something wrong with Joe Biden’s brain. (And I’m not saying that Uncle Joe doesn’t fuck up — I also definitely think that Uncle Joe is too old to be running and should step aside for a younger candidate. AND BEFORE YOU YELL AT ME, I AM GOING TO VOTE FOR WHOMEVER THE DEMOCRATS PUT ON THE TICKET, REGARDLESS OF AGE, SEX, RACE, OR MENTAL CAPACITY BECAUSE ANYONE, LITERALLY ANYONE IS BETTER THAN DONALD “SUNDOWNER” TRUMP. I’m just saying that it is the height of hypocrisy to be going after Biden for his gaffes when the President of the United States can’t remember whether or not his wife met murderous dictator Kim Jong-Un.)

And here they are attacking the Democratic party for courting non-religious voters … as if that’s a bad thing:

And on Fox & Friends, they had on a guy who claimed that there was a “coup” attempted on President Illegitimate:

What I’m saying is that this fight with Fox News, Neil Cavuto’s condemnation and Hume’s outrage, it’s like every other thing about this presidency: it’s a fucking con.

It’s Labor Day weekend and realizing that this Sunday is basically a Saturday night, HBO is streaming its Sunday series, including Succession, The Righteous Gemstones, and Ballers beginning today.

TV Critic Matt Roush gives his early new fall best bets — which gives me a good opening to mention I intend to open my annual “What Terrible New Network Show Do You Awful People Want to Force Me to Watch and Hate Blog?” poll as early as Monday of next week, so STAY TUNED AND VOTE OFTEN.

Alex Trebek was back filming Jeopardy because FUCK CANCER.

Lance Riddick is still pissed about what Lost did to Matthew Abaddon — apparently, he was supposed to be a regular and major character through season five. But then they up and killed him off because he was cast on Fringe. I find this genuinely fascinating.

Constance Wu is trying to clean up the mess she made after Fresh Off the Boat was renewed. Good luck with that.

On Empire, Jamal is moving to London because he doesn’t want to be a part of the Lyon family drama anymore, which is ironic because the character is being written off because Empire doesn’t want to be a part of Jussie Smollett’s drama anymore.

Shonda Rhimes should use some of her new Netflix power and make them reverse the cancellation of The OA.

We have poster art for Disney+’s new “weird” WandaVision series:

Scientology and the Aftermath may have aired its finale this week, but Leah Remini is not done with those Scientology motherfuckers. She and Mike Rinder are coming for you, David Miscavige, and she is not playing around.

Law & Order SVU‘s showrunner is hopeful that Christopher Meloni might theoretically return to the series for its final episodes — not that the show is ending anytime soon or anything. This is all just a bunch of meaningless speculation, don’t get all excited.

VERY IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP INFO ABOUT VIRGIN BACHELOR COLTON AND CASSIE. (Actually, it’s not important at all, nothing has changed.)

Renewals

Cancellations

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • The I-Land debuts on Netflix on September 12. Take note, Lost nerds. This looks like A LOT of the theories people had about that show:
  • Cake will debut on FXX on September 25.
  • The Deuce‘s final season will premiere on HBO on September 9.
  • Inside Bill’s Brain: Decoding Bill Gates will debut on Netflix on September 20.
  • NCIS will return on CBS on September 24.
  • Queen of the South will return on USA “soon.”
  • Tall Girl will debut on Netflix on September 13.
  • Disenchantment will return on Netflix on September 20.

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance: Three Gelflings set off on a journey to save their world in the sequel to the 80s Jim Henson film. Series premiere. Netflix

Carnival Row: Orlando Bloom and Cara Delevingne star in this fantasy series that is a not-so-subtle allegory about the refugee crisis. Series premiere. Amazon

Styling Hollywood: A celebrity stylist and his interior decorating husband help curate “black girl magic” for the likes of Taraji P. Henson, Gabrielle Union, Eve, and Ava DuVernay in this new reality series. Series premiere. Netflix

SATURDAY

Can You Ever Forgive Me?: Melissa McCarthy and Richard E. Grant star in this Academy-award winning film about a forger of fake celebrity documents. 7 p.m., HBO

 Children of Men: I’m just saying this dystopian nightmare feels awfully familiar these days. 8 p.m., Starz Encore

SUNDAY

M*A*S*H marathon: It’s Labor Day weekend which means TV marathons! 4 a.m., Sundance TV

The Hunger Games marathon: Marathons! 12:30 p.m., E!

The Golden Girls marathon: TV MARATHONS! 5 a.m., TV Land

Rambo marathon: JUST SIT IN FRONT OF YOUR TV AND DON’T MOVE FOR SEVERAL HOURS! 1:30 p.m., IFC

 

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC American Housewife
(repeat)
Fresh Off the Boat
(repeat)
What Would You Do?
(new)
20/20
(new)
CBS Hawaii Five-0
(repeat)
Magnum P.I.
(repeat)
Blue Bloods
(repeat)
CW Masters of Illusion
(new)
The Big Stage
(new)
Hypnotize Me
(repeat)
Local
FOX BH90210
(repeat)
MasterChef
(repeat)
Local
NBC American Ninja Warrior Dateline
(new)

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC Shark Tank
(repeat)
Press Your Luck
(repeat)
Card Sharks
(repeat)
News/Local
CBS NCIS: New Orleans
(repeat)
48 Hours
(new)
48 Hours
(new)
News/Local
FOX So You Think You Can Dance?
(repeat)
Beat Shazam
(repeat)
News/Local
NBC America’s Got Talent
(repeat)
Dateline News/Local Saturday Night Live
(repeat)

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(repeat)
Celebrity Family Feud
(new)
The $100,000 Pyramid
(new)
To Tell the Truth
(new)
CBS 60 Minutes
(new)
Big Brother
(new)
Instinct
(new)
Instinct
(new)
The CW Local Penn & Teller: Fool Us
(new)
Pandora
(repeat)
Local
FOX Last Man Standing
(repeat)
Last Man Standing
(repeat)
The Simpsons
(repeat)
Bob’s Burgers
(repeat)
Family Guy
(repeat)
What Just Happened?! With Fred Savage
(new)
Local/News
NBC America’s Got Talent
(repeat)
America’s Got Talent
(repeat)
Bring the Funny
(repeat)

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