Happy Robert Mueller Testifies Day! I have some TV news for you, but you should really be spending your time watching Mueller testify.

I’m watching the Robert Mueller testimony right now and am VERY distracted, but the bottom line is, we have to make sure that President Fucko doesn’t get re-elected and we ARREST HIS ASS on January 20, 2021. RIGHT, BOB?

The September 11 Victim Compensation Fund will be funded for the next 70 years, thanks in no small part to Jon Stewart shaming Congress into finally doing the right fucking thing. Congratulations, first responders and other victims — it shouldn’t have taken this long but I’m thrilled that it is finally resolved.

Back to the TV-Watcher-in-Chief: Democratic Congressman Eric Swalwell was on Fox News and Martha MacCallum wasn’t mean enough to him for our spoiled baby President. Meanwhile, President Gropey’s new favorite news station, One America News Network has hired Kristian Brunovich Rouz, a Russian reporter who is simultaneously working for Sputnik, the Kremlin-owned news wire service. Rouz did several completely false segments for OANN that included how Hillary was supposedly financing Antifa, that George Soros collaborated with the Nazis and that the White Helmet rescue workers in Syria were actually involved with war atrocities — allegations that are directly from Russian propaganda. At no point did OANN ever disclose his relationship with Sputnik or the Kremlin.

Interesting: Mary Shelley was originally going to be the next subject of Nat Geo’s Genius series — and the first female subject — but they “couldn’t find a way to crack it creatively for an eight- to 10-hour limited series.” So they are going with Aretha Franklin instead.

The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All special this year had its highest ratings in four years because we, as a nation, NEEDED to watch Luke be screamed at for two hours.

Here’s an interview with Jerome Flynn about playing Bronn on Game of Thrones where they don’t ask a single question about Flynn’s relationship with ex-girlfriend Lena Headey, goddammit.

HBO Max will offer live programming like NBA Basketball, MLB Baseball, NCAA Basketball, and news, apparently.

Meanwhile, a sports-centric streamer, FuboTV, is now available for free on Samsung and LG TVs.


Congratulations, Bindi Irwin!

Sex Monster News

R. Kelly’s crisis manager has quit after giving an interview with Gayle King in which he said he wouldn’t leave his daughter alone with Kelly.

Three news sites, Forbes, HuffPost, and National Review, have pulled pro-Jeffrey Epstein pieces they published after a New York Times story exposed his attempt to rehabilitate his public image by planting stories. Lifetime, meanwhile, will be telling a very different kind of story about Epstein (see below in “In Development”) and it won’t go well for him. He’s trying to get out of jail again, btw.



  • The Code has been canceled at CBS after one season.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • The Family will debut on Netflix on August 9.
  • Wu Assassins will debut on Netflix on August 8.
  • The Boys debuts this Friday on Amazon.


Robert Mueller’s Testimony: It is vital that every American hear from the man himself since no one is reading his damn report. 7:30 a.m., CNN, MSNBC, CSPAN, Fox News? Maybe?

The Great Hack: This documentary delves into Cambridge Analytica, and how they are mining our data to manipulate the public and wage culture and political wars. And, you know, make Brexit and Donald Trump happen. IMPORTANT. Premiere. Netflix

South Side: A pair of friends who have just graduated from community college is stuck working at a Rent-To-Own on the south side of Chicago in this new comedy. Series premiere. 9:30 p.m., Comedy Central

The Last Cowboy: A new docuseries about competitive Horse Reigning. Series premiere. 10 p.m., Paramount

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Naomi Watts, Mike Birbiglia, Midland
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Billy Eichner, Danielle Brooks, Hobo Johnson, Mark Lanegan
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Chris Wallace, Jamie Bell
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Sutton Foster, Eddie Izzard, Dave Ross
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Danny McBride, Rascal Flatts
  • The Daily Show: Gina Torres
  • Watch What Happens Live: TBA


WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Press Your Luck
Card Sharks
Match Game
CBS Love Island
Big Brother
CW Penn & Teller: Fool Us
Jane the Virgin
FOX Masterchef
First Responders Live
NBC Ellen’s Game of Games
The InBetween

One thought on “Happy Robert Mueller Testifies Day! I have some TV news for you, but you should really be spending your time watching Mueller testify.

  1. 100% the least important thing in this blog post, but HBO Max is a dumb name for a streaming platform with content not exclusively from HBO and in a world where we already have HBO, HBO GO, and HBO Now.

Leave a Reply