Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s freakout on ‘The View’ because Barbara Walters was a condescending bitch to her is easily the funniest thing you’ll hear all day

If you are as obsessed with The View and all the behind-the-scenes nonsense as I am — I’M NOT PROUD OF IT BUT HERE WE ARE — you are definitely going to want to listen to this exclusive clip Variety has of Elisabeth Hasselbeck trying to quit during a commercial break after Barbara Walters was a complete bitch to her. Fact: This is the best thing that is going to happen to me today. Bobby Hankinson and I have been casting Feud: The View ever since this audio leaked. It needs to happen.

Call us, Ryan Murphy, this is a winner.

The headlines are that Taraji P. Henson declared that Jussie Smollett will be back on Empire next season, but that’s not exactly what happened. Speaking of The View — Henson was on the show yesterday morning and asked if she thought Smollett would return, she said “yes!” before noting that she “hadn’t heard anything else.” So, it’s not quite the definitive declaration that the headlines would make it out to be. Of course, Empire hasn’t been renewed for season 6 yet, so it’s all hypothetical anyway.

Meanwhile, the city of Chicago is filing a lawsuit against Smollett since he did not pay the $130,000 fine they demanded for the cost of the investigation. The suit will seek $390,000. If the suit isn’t settled, this could be a way for the city to reveal all of the evidence they had against him since there won’t be a criminal trial.

Speaking of Chicago — The Chi returns on Showtime on Sunday, but you can watch the premiere episode now on YouTube if you are so inclined.

The WGA fight with their agents is getting ugly: The Writers Guild of America have told their members to fire their agents en masse if an agreement isn’t reached by noon tomorrow. STAY TUNED.

I can’t decide if Colton Underwood needs to spend a shit ton more time with women or if he should be kept away from all women until the end of time. What a doofus.

Here’s just a very nice piece about the young actresses on Better Things.

The New York Times has written an amazing piece about the Murdoch familySuccession is real, y’all.

“How did we wind up with a country in which feminists do science?” is an actual question that came out of Tucker Carlson’s facehole.

Another Fox contributor is now working for Trump’s government. It’s just a direct pipeline from Fox News to this administration.

Donald Trump will not be attending the White House Correspondents Dinner this year, holding up his unbroken streak. I’m sure they’re heartbroken.

OK, now we can Game of Thrones:

Kit Harington was on The Tonight Show last night and REVEALS GIANT SPOILERS! (The relevant part comes at about 5:25.)

Never reveal that you’ve never seen Game of Thrones like this poor Late Late Show writer mistakenly did:

Everybody is mourning the end of the TV show cultural phenomena, and wondering if we’ll ever collectively watch a show together again. And on the one hand, I get it — television has become so fractured, there are so many viewing options out there, and viewing on demand is so ubiquitous that it seems impossible any one platform could find enough viewers to build a cultural consensus. On the other hand, I sort of felt this way when Lost ended, so I’m not convinced that it can’t happen again.

Here’s how Game of Thrones changed television. Also, this is the most important takeaway, TV people:

“It has made everyone say, ‘O.K., where is our ‘Game of Thrones’? Which is the exact wrong way to find your next ‘Game of Thrones,’” said Casey Bloys, the president of programming at HBO. “Just to set out and say ‘Well we’re going to make our next “Game of Thrones,” we’re going to do a real giant show with a huge budget,’ well that doesn’t allow for all the other things that have to go right for a show to really resonate with a viewer.”

If you’re interested in production design, here you go. There are some interesting tidbits in here, including what served as the inspiration for the Battle of the Bastards and the House of Black and White, along with some of the nightmares that come with creating a world like the one in Game of Thrones.

Shake Shack has a secret Game of Thrones menu, but it looks like it’s only at their Madison Square Park location. BOOOOOO.

In Development

  • Q-Force, an animated gay James Bond series from Mike Schur and Sean Hayes, has received an order from Netflix.
  • Wait, Pitch might be coming back? Really?
  • Allison Pataki’s Sisi novels are being developed into a series.
  • Apnea has been acquired by Amazon.
  • Roy Wood Jr. has signed an overall deal with Comedy Central.
  • Joanna Coles has signed a deal with ABC Studios.

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • The Society will debut on Netflix on May 10. (And I’m LOVING the use of Billy Eilish’s “Bury a Friend” here — SPOOKY!)
  • Yellowstone returns on Paramount on June 19.
  • Claws returns on TNT on June 9.
  • Cobra Kai will return on YouTube on April 24.
  • The Bachelorette will return on ABC on May 13, Lord help me.

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: I AM NOT READY TO SAY GOODBYE TO THE BEST MUSICAL COMEDY ON TELEVISION. NOT. READY.  Series finale. 7 p.m., The CW

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina: The second half of the season is here and Sabrina seems … darker. Netflix

Our Planet: David Attenborough brings this nature documentary about the effects of climate change. Series premiere. Netflix

The Tick: Season premiere. Amazon

Unicorn Store: Brie Larson plays a misunderstood woman whose dreams come true when she is offered the chance to own a unicorn. Seriously. Netflix

Wyatt Cynac’s Problem Areas: Wyatt Cenac thoughtfully and humorously tackles one large problem a season in this criminally overlooked series. Last season is was police brutality, this season is education. I adore this show. Season premiere. 10 p.m., HBO

Warrior: Based on an original concept by Bruce Lee, Warrior follows a Chinese immigrant who becomes the henchman for the most powerful tong in 19th century San Francisco. Series premiere. 9 p.m., Cinemax

SATURDAY

Saturday Night Live: Kit Harington & Sara Bareilles 10:30 p.m., NBC

The Nun: SCARY NUN. 7 p.m., HBO

Native Son: A modern adaptation of the Richard Wright classic. 9 p.m.,m HBO

SUNDAY

Killing Eve: VILLANELLE IS BACK. ~faints~ Season premiere. 7 p.m., BBCA, AMC

The Chi: Season two premiere. 9 p.m., Showtime

The 54th Annual Country Music Awards: Set to perform: Dierks Bentley, Brooks & Dunn, Brandi Carlile, Eric Church, Kelly Clarkson, Luke Combs, Dan + Shay, Florida Georgia Line and Ashley McBryde, Brothers Osborne; Kane Brown; Miranda Lambert; Little Big Town; Reba McEntire; Maren Morris; Thomas Rhett; Chris Stapleton; George Strait; and Jason Aldean 7 p.m., CBS

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Taraji P. Henson, Jason Clarke, Nate Bargatze
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): Hank Azaria, Henry Louis Gates Jr.
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live!!: (Friday): Celine Dion, Chris Tucker
  • Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Tamar Braxton, Lizzo

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Fresh Off the Boat
(new)
Speechless
(new)
20/20
(new)
CBS MacGyver
(new)
Hawaii Five-0
(new)
Blue Bloods
(new)
CW Dynasty
(new)
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
(new)
Local
FOX Last Man Standing
(new)
The Cool Kids
(new)
Proven Innocent
(new)
Local
NBC Blindspot
(new)
The Blacklist
(new)
Dateline
(new)


SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC NBA Basketball
(live)
News/Local
CBS Ransom
(new)
NCIS
(repeat)
48 Hours
(new)
News/Local
FOX The Masked Singer
(repeat)
The Resident
(repeat)
News/Local
NBC Dateline Dateline Saturday Night Live
(repeat)
News/Local Saturday Night Live
(XXX)


SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(new)
American Idol
(new)
Shark Tank
(repeat)
CBS 60 Minutes
(new)
God Friended Me
(new)
NCIS: Los Angeles
(new)
Madam Secretary
(new)
The CW Local Supergirl
(new)
Charmed
(new)
Local
FOX The Simpsons
(repeat)
Bob’s Burgers
(repeat)
The Simpsons
(new)
Bob’s Burgers
(new)
Family Guy
(new)
Family Guy
(repeat)
Local/News
NBC Ellen’s Game of Games
(repeat)
World of Dance
(new)
Good Girls
(new)
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