Boy, this Jussie Smollett story has reached whole new levels of what-the-fuckitude …

What is happening with this Jussie Smollett story, guys? Because just when you thought it couldn’t get any crazier, IT GOT SO MUCH CRAZIER. So, yesterday as I was assembling this post, news broke that all of the charges against Smollett — which numbered some 16 felony counts — had been dropped by prosecutors. Smollett agreed to forfeit his $10,000 bond, and do some public service, and in exchange, his case will never go to trial.

Smollett came out of what is being described as a “hastily convened” court hearing declaring his innocence. However, the prosecutor who made the decision to drop the case said in an interview that his decision did not exonerate Smollett, and affirmed that there was no problem with the evidence against Smollett or the investigation.

The police and Chicago mayor Rahm Emmanuel ARE SUPER PISSED and held a press conference where they just screamed for fifteen minutes straight. “IS THERE NO DECENCY IN THIS MAN?” is a thing that was said, and there were lots of complaints about a rich celebrity brokering a secret backroom deal.

Fox News reacted to the news with a brief statement that read, “Jussie Smollett has always maintained his innocence and we are gratified that all charges against him have been dismissed.” Taraji P. Henson told USA Today, “I’m happy that the truth has finally been set free, because I knew it all along. We’re all happy for him, and thank God the truth prevailed.”

Meanwhile, Tucker Carlson has tied Jussie Smollett to the Black Panthers, communists, and Kamala Harris, because sure, why not.

carol! sunny twd

Anyway. 

Somehow I forgot to mention that Michael Avenatti has been arrested and charged with crimes on BOTH COASTS. He allegedly embezzled money from clients and tried to blackmail Nike. LOL, what a sleazeball. Famous attorney person, Mark Geragos, is an unnamed co-conspirator in one of the cases, and it got his ass fired from CNN as a result.

And in our final bit of politically-related news, Georgia could lose their very lucrative film and TV industry thanks to a draconian abortion law the Republican legislature and governor is considering passing. The law would outlaw abortion from the moment a fetal heartbeat can be detected, which can be as early as six weeks into a pregnancy — a time when many women don’t even know they are pregnant. I didn’t. Alyssa Milano called for Hollywood to pull their 455 projects from the state if the law is passed and the Writers Guild of America echoed her.

In our Game of Thrones roundup for the day:

Benioff and Weiss discuss the Night King’s origin story and what he wants. Wait, does this mean they made up their own origin story for him, and didn’t consult with George R.R. Martin? I HAVE QUESTIONS. Will Martin include his own origin story for the Night’s King or just avoid it altogether? If Martin wasn’t consulted about this, what else did they make up? How much of this endgame is based on Martin’s story and how much are they creating? How different will the books end up being from the show? AND WHEN WILL THE BOOK COME OUT? GEORGE?

Here are some new set photos from a Spanish magazine, and news that Little Lady Badass does not care one bit for Daenerys.

Maisie Williams and Sophie Turner did a joint interview with Rolling Stone in which not much is revealed. I mean, Turner says she likes the way the show ended but what else is she going to say, right?

And the prequel just cast five more people, including John Simm who is not some other English actor I get him mixed up with ALL THE TIME.

I didn’t mention this yesterday in part because I feel like I’ve been writing a lot — maybe too much — about this Ladies Who Punch book that is coming out about The View, and in part because it was kind of an “Ok, so?” story, but apparently Rosie O’Donnell told the book’s author that she had a “non-sexual” crush on Elisabeth Hasselbeck back in the day and that she tried to mentor her. I mean, sure. Whatever. O’Donnell also sorta kinda implies that she thought Hasselbeck was a secret lesbian by pointing out that she played softball, which is uncool, but probably just wishful thinking on her part.

What made this a story that I felt compelled to bring up today, though, is that Hasselbeck went on The View yesterday to hawk her own book, and when asked about the O’Donnell story, Hasselbeck had a completely ridiculous reaction, called O’Donnell’s comments “disturbing,” compared O’Donnell to a male sexual predator and then claimed that O’Donnell said she was trying to groom her — basically like child sexual predators do to children.

Here’s the quote from O’Donnell that Hasselbeck FREAKED OUT over:

“There was a little bit of a crush,” O’Donnell says in the book. “But not that I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to support, raise, elevate her, like she was the freshman star shortstop and I was the captain of the team.” O’Donnell changed sports metaphors from baseball to basketball. “I was going to Scottie Pippen her. If I was Jordan, I was going to give her and the ball and let her shoot. But it was in no way sexualized.”

Speaking of The View, I hate it when y’all make me take Meghan McCain’s side on things, but “You were at my wedding, Denise” is a fucking hilarious comeback.

If you’ve been watching Project Runway All-Stars this season, you might have noticed that they claim you can buy the winning designs at J.C. Penny. Except, haha, you can’t, and here’s why. SPOILER ALERT: Harvey Weinstein ruins everything.

LOL, Rachel Maddow’s not going anywhere — did y’all really think she was going to back down just because of a four-page letter summarizing a two-year report we still haven’t seen? Bitches, please.

Apparently, Meghan Markle filmed a comedy pilot for Comedy Central with Max Greenfield and Adam Pally called The Boys and Girls Guide to Getting Down, and someone has bought it recently with the intent to distribute it. Grab the popcorn.

My favorite little under-the-radar gem of the spring, Miracle Workers, has not been renewed, but if it is, it will go the anthology series route and tell a completely different story with the same actors. I’m down with this.

Do Jeopardy contestants watch Bachelor in Paradise? Wouldn’t that rot all of those precious brain cells? I know it rots mine. 

A lovely tribute and a couple more Supernatural tweets for ya:

Another HBO executive is leaving the company following the acquisition by AT&T.

Renewals

  • Better Things has been renewed for a fourth season at FX. GOOD.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

CBS announced its summer premiere dates:

  • Blood & Treasure will debut on May 21.
  • Elementary will return for its final season on May 23.
  • Instinct returns on June 16.
  • Klepper will debut on Comedy Central on May 9.
  • The Perfect Date will debut on Netflix on April 12.

R.I.P.

Roger Charley, Singer-songwriter from The English Beat and General Public

WATCH THIS

The Real Housewives of New York: Bethenny tries to make The Countess and Dorinda make nicetime. 8 p.m., Bravo

Jane the Virgin: This is back and SO IS MICHAEL. ~shocked emoji here~ Season premiere. 8 p.m., The CW

What We Do in the Shadows: This adaptation of the delightful 2014 movie (see above) looks perfect. Can not wait.  9 p.m., FX

Happy!: This bonkers series is back for season two. Season premiere. 9 p.m., Syfy

Million Dollar Mile: I don’t know, it’s some sort of race? But not The Amazing Race? Maybe Amazing Race lite? Like I said, I don’t know, CBS hasn’t been promoting this one very much. Series premiere. 8 p.m., CBS

Late Night:

  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Charles Barkley, Tig Notaro
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Pamela Adlon, David Harbour, Wallows
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Matthew McConaughey, Snoop Dogg, Justin Turner, Durand Jones & the Indications
  • The Daily Show: Dr. Jennifer L. Eberhardt
  • Watch What Happens Live: Ramona Singer, Tracy Tutor

 

WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Goldbergs
(repeat)
Schooled
(repeat)
Modern Family
(repeat)
Single Parents
(repeat)
Whiskey Cavalier
(new)
CBS Survivor
(new)
Million Dollar Mile
(new)
CW Riverdale
(new)
Jane the Virgin
(new)
Local
FOX Empire
(new)
Star
(new)
News/Local
NBC Chicago Med
(new)
Chicago Fire
(new)
Chicago P.D.
(new)

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