Frankly, I don’t know what you’re doing here as Michael Cohen is testifying to Congress RIGHT NOW that President Individual One:
- Took a call from Roger Stone alerting him that Wikileaks was about to drop a bunch of Clinton emails
- Was involved in the Stormy Daniels cover-up scandal in a criminal way WHILE PRESIDENT
- Never expected to win the presidency but wanted to make money off of running for the office
- Used his charity to buy a $60,000 painting of himself
- Ordered him to threaten schools and the College Board to not release his grades or SAT scores
- Is a racist
- Suggested that Cohen lie about the Trump Tower deal
- Had his lawyers go over the statement Cohen made to Congress which was full of lies
- Probably (definitely) knew about Dummy Junior’s meeting with the Russians
- Threatened Cohen’s family
- Is a conman and liar
- Thinks Dummy Junior is a dodo bird
Please read his opening statement here and savor it because IT IS DELICIOUS.
Meanwhile, the GOP is desperately trying to smear Cohen — which is hard to do since Cohen was Trump’s guy for over 10 years, including during the presidency. Smearing Cohen by calling him a liar and a cheat at worst suggests that he was a liar and a cheat on Trump’s behalf, at best suggests that Trump hires liars and cheats.
And when the GOP isn’t smearing Cohen, they are outright threatening him. Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz tweeted yesterday:
After Nancy Pelosi slapped him down with a thinly veiled threat to drag his ass in front of the Ethics Committee:
Someone took down the tweet and apologized:
LOL TIMES INFINITY.
In other TV news
The Department of Justice has ended its fight to prevent the AT&T/Time Warner merger.
Daniel Garrido, a Telemundo reporter, was kidnapped in Venezuela while covering the story of Jorge Ramos and the Univision reporters being detained and then deported after their interview with President Maduro. He was held and questioned by a group of unidentified men who released him after six hours. They kept his equipment. GEE I WONDER WHO HIS ABDUCTORS WERE. WHAT A MYSTERY.
This piece argues that shows like The Good Place, Russian Doll, Barry, and Bojack Horseman are antidotes to the anti-hero trend — instead of the protagonists becoming more corrupt, they are seeking moral redemption. It’s pretty good!
Wait, Caelynn from The Bachelor — her grandmother was the head of the Los Angeles FBI office? That’s SO COOL.
Here’s everything we know about the second season of Big Little Lies.
There were a pair of TV mini-reunions worth noting:
And Steve Carrell surprised Jenna Fischer on Busy Tonight last night:
LOL, Offset didn’t like that Migos sketch on Saturday Night Live. I, for one, thought it was one of the best bits of last season. Here’s the sketch in question:
This isn’t exactly a TV-related story, but since the concept of “TV” is so fluid these days (and it’s my blog), I’m going to allow it: WHAT THE FUCK, YOUTUBE?
Renewals
- Chicago Fire, Chicago P.D., and Chicago Med have all been renewed at NBC.
- Hell’s Kitchen has been renewed for two more seasons at Fox.
- Temptation Island has been renewed at USA.
- Agatha Raisin has been renewed for a third season at Acorn TV.
In Development
- Michael Jackson: The Rise and Fall has been ordered by the BBC.
Casting News
- Mary Steenburgen and Jane Leeves are set to co-star in the NBC pilot Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist.
- Luna Lauren Velez is returning to the New York Undercover reboot.
- Clive Standen is joining the NBC pilot, Council of Dads.
- Camille Hyde and Lucien Laviscount are joining the Katy Keene pilot at The CW.
- Ben J. Pierce will star in The CW’s pilot Glamourous, and Pierson Fodé has joined the cast.
- Lenora Crichlow has been added to the cast of the HBO comedy pilot Avenue 5.
- Ashleigh LaThrop, Desmin Borges, Farrah Mackenzie, and Christopher Denham are joining the cast of Amazon’s Utopia.
- James Remar and Gloria Reuben are joining Showtime’s City on a Hill.
- Megalyn Echikunwoke is joining the cast of the Fox pilot currently known as Sisters.
- Mary Elizabeth Ellis and Tawny Newsome will co-star in the ABC comedy pilot Woman Up.
- Rekha Sharma is joining Limetown on Facebook Watch.
- Matthew Barnes has joined the cast of Strange Angel on CBS All Access.
Mark Your Calendars
- Amy Schumer: Growing will debut on Netflix on March 19.
- The OA Part II debuts on Netflix on March 22 and looks as BATSHIT CRAZY AS EVER:
- Red Nose Day will air on NBC on May 23
- Nickelodeon’s Kids’ Choice Awards will air on Nickelodeon on March 23. DJ Khaled will host.
R.I.P.
Andy Anderson, Drummer for The Cure. It’s not TV-related, but it’s part-of-Therese’s-formative-years-related.
WATCH THIS
The Real Housewives of New Jersey: More reunioning. 8 p.m., Bravo
Whiskey Cavalier: I posted last week that this show premiered then. It didn’t. It premieres now. Well, technically even that is wrong, because it actually premiered after the Oscars on Sunday. I don’t even know anymore. Series premiere. 9 p.m., ABC
Gone: A former kidnap victim helps find other kidnap victims. Mr. Big co-stars. Series premiere. 8 p.m., WGN
Ministry of Evil: The Twisted Cult of Tony Alamo: CULTS! Series premiere. 10 p.m., Sundance
The Masked Singer: The three remaining singers compete for the “Golden Mask” which is a very important prize. Two-hour season finale. 7 p.m., Fox
Alien News Desk: Will Forte and Heidi Gardner provide the voices for this new animated series. Series premiere. 10 p.m., Syfy
Suits: Season finale. 9 p.m., USA
Late Night:
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Jessica Chastain, Patton Oswalt, Gary Clark Jr.
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Tyler Perry, Christina Hendricks, Astrid S., Jon Epcar
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Adam Carolla, Lauren Cohan, Mana
- The Daily Show: Angie Thomas
- Conan: Cedric the Entertainer
- Busy Tonight: Isla Fisher
- Watch What Happens Live: Padma Lakshmi, Derek Hough
| WEDS. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | The Goldbergs (new) |
Schooled (new) |
Modern Family (new) |
Single Parents (new) |
Whiskey Cavalier (new) |
| CBS | Survivor (new) |
The World’s Best (new) |
| CW | Riverdale (new) |
All American (new) |
Local |
| FOX | The Masked Singer (new) |
News/Local |
| NBC | Chicago Med (new) |
Chicago Fire (new) |
Chicago P.D. (new) |