President Joffrey has been spending so much time live-tweeting Fox News that he hasn’t caught up with ‘Game of Thrones’ season 7. NO ONE SPOIL HIM.

Y’all. Y’ALL. If you ever needed proof that Donald Trump doesn’t watch anything other than Fox News and probably doesn’t know how to read, I present to you the following:

SHHH! NO ONE TELL HIM WHAT HAPPENS TO THE WALL IN GAME OF THRONES!

60 Minutes is going to run an interview with Egyptian President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi that the Egyptian government asked them not to run. ~cough~ Netflix ~cough~

Robert Kirkman is trying to defend The Walking Dead from criticism that it is repetitive and recycles old stories. OK.

The Walking Dead might be done with Dwight, but Fear the Walking Dead is a whole other story. Please see above.

Did y’all watch The Masked Singer the other night? Have any thoughts on who the signers are? Because the internet sure does.

So, I am a soap fan (specifically ABC’s soaps, R.I.P. All My Children and One Life to Live), and I have known Michael B. Jordan from back when he was a goofy teen kid on All My Children. So how amazing is it to learn that Chadwick Boseman was first cast in the role as Reggie, but was fired when he brought up concerns that the role played to racial stereotypes and that Jordan was cast as his replacement. (That said, Jordan’s first big role was as Wallace on The Wire, let’s all remember, so it’s not like this was his big moment that changed his career.)

You can watch the season premiere of SMILF now.

Rick & Morty fans are the most delicate fans.

The Broad City girls are done with the show and while I understand, they need to grow up and move on, I’m not ready for them to gooooooo.

TMZ revealed that Brian Dunkleman is now driving an Uber and you know what? Good for Brian Dunkleman. Ain’t no shame in doing what you can to support and spend time with your family.

Bill Arkin, an NBC News vet, left the network with a lot of criticism for how NBC and all the other news outlets are handling news in the age of Trump. But whaddya gonna do, not cover the President of the United States? Especially one as dangerous and dangerously stupid as this one?

Meanwhile, Tucker Carlson continues to be a microphallic fool who has never known real love.

The FCC is now down thanks to the government shutdown so GO WILD, JANET JACKSON.

The Arie/Jef feud continues on a year later. If those words mean nothing to you, feel good about your life choices.

Time’s Up

Star Talk with Neil deGrasse Tyson has been pulled by Nat Geo until an investigation has been completed, which the network says they anticipate happening in the next few weeks. There has not been any other word from Fox and Cosmos, but it is worth noting that Nat Geo is now part of the Fox family, so presumably the investigation is one and the same.

Seth MacFarlane has no regrets for the “We Saw Your Boobs” number at the Oscars so I can safely return to hating him again, thank God. Hey, Seth? It was gross, it was sexist, it was offensive to women everywhere so take your “context” and shove it.

Oh, great, the Academy still wants Kevin Hart to host the Oscars, Ellen DeGeneres is encouraging him to do so, and he’s considering it.

So, Ellen had Kevin Hart on her show where she said the following to him:

Addressing the Internet trolls who toppled Hart’s dream gig of hosting the Oscars with their online attacks, DeGeneres said, “Don’t pay attention to them; they are a small group of people who are very, very loud. We are a huge group of people who love you and want you to host the Oscars.”

Hart was hesitant, saying, “it’s tough for me because it was an attack, a malicious attack on my character, to end me.”

DeGeneres responded that “they (the haters) will win if you don’t host the Oscars. You can’t let them destroy you because you have too much talent, and for them to stop you from your dream, from what you want to do, what you have the right to do, what you should be doing… Don’t let those people win, host the Oscars… That’s why they (The Academy) haven’t found another host, because they are secretly hoping that you would come back.”

FIRST OF ALL, DEADLINE, these weren’t “Internet trolls” but people who genuinely felt that someone who built his early career making homophobic jokes and talked about beating his son if he turned out to be gay maybe isn’t the best choice as host for a show that celebrates Hollywood. But SECOND OF ALL, ELLEN, he never actually apologized for his jokes until after the “haters” called him out for his hateful comedy. I believe in redemption, I believe that if as soon as the internet pulled up those old tweets and jokes, Kevin Hart had released a fulsome and genuine apology and statement saying that he has grown as a person, this would have all gone away and I would have been fine with him hosting the dumb Oscars. But he didn’t do that and now he’s SOMEHOW playing the fucking victim and so he can fuck right the fuck off.

People (comedy fans and writers) are still wrestling with Louis C.K. and the show Louie and how someone they thought was on their team could be such an asshole. Both of these pieces are thoughtful and well-written and worth reading if you are still struggling with this mess of a story. But after hearing his recent set, I have made my peace with Louis C.K. and barring some sort of miraculous onset of self-exploration on his part, he is dead to me.

Oh my God, New York Times, DO BETTER.

Cancellation

In Development

  • A Batwoman series starring Ruby Rose has been ordered to pilot at The CW.
  • Simply Halston, a limited series starring Ewan MacGregor as the designer, is being developed for television.
  • Simultaneous, a short story written by the author of Bird Box, is being developed by Hulu.

Casting News

  • Taye Diggs will be the host of the Critic’s Choice Awards.
  • Yuki Morita is joining The Terror for season two.

Mark Your Calendar

  • Killing Eve will return on BBC America on January 7, and will pick up seconds after the season one finale, HOORAY!
  • Better Things (sans Louis C.K.) will return on FX on February 28.
  • Friends from College returns on Netflix on January 11.
  • Corporate, the very dark little comedy about corporate life, returns on Comedy Central on January 15.
  • Close will debut on Netflix on January 18.

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

Fresh Off the Boat: Mid-season premiere. 7 p.m., ABC

Last Man Standing: Mid-season premiere. 7 p.m., Fox

MacGyver: Mid-season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS

The Cool Kids: Mid-season premiere. 7:30 p.m., Fox

Speechless: Mid-season premiere. 7:30 p.m., ABC

Hawaii Five-0: Mid-season premiere. 8 p.m., CBS

Blue Bloods: Mid-season premiere. 9 p.m., CBS

SATURDAY

Super Troopers 2: I’m not sure that they needed to make a sequel to Super Troopers, but here we are. 7p.m., HBO

Tootsie: I’m actually curious how this holds up in today’s environment. If I remember correctly, there are plenty of #MeToo parallels in this classic. (Which, if you think about it, is kinda depressing that things haven’t improved in nearly forty years.) 5 p.m., Showtime Women

SUNDAY

The 2019 Golden Globes: Oh hey! The dumbest awards are here! 7 p.m., NBC

The Golden Globes red carpet: They begin at 5 on E! and at 6 on NBC.If that’s your thing.

God Friended Me: Mid-season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS

The Simpsons: Mid-season premiere. 7 p.m., Fox

Bob’s Burgers: Mid-season premiere. 7:30 p.m., Fox

Family Guy: Mid-season premiere. 8 p.m., Fox

NCIS: Los Angeles: Mid-season premiere. 8 p.m., CBS

Madam Secretary: Mid-season premiere. 9 p.m., CBS

 

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Fresh Off the Boat
(new)
Speechless
(new)
20/20
(new)
CBS MacGyver
(new)
Hawaii Five-0
(new)
Blue Bloods
(new)
CW Whose Line is it Anyway?
(repeat)
Whose Line is it Anyway?
(repeat)
The Hollywood Walk of Fame Honors
(new)
Local
FOX Last Man Standing
(new)
The Cool Kids
(new)
Hell’s Kitchen
(new)
Local
NBC The Blacklist
(repeat)
The Blacklist
(new)
Dateline
(new)

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC The Kids Are Alright
(repeat)
The Kids Are Alright
(repeat)
Single Parents
(repeat)
Single Parents
(repeat)
The Alec Baldwin Show
(new)
News/Local
CBS NCIS
(repeat)
FBI
(repeat)
48 Hours
(new)
News/Local
FOX The Masked Singer
(repeat)
The Resident
(repeat)
News/Local
NBC The Titan Games Saturday Night Live
(repeat)
News/Local Saturday Night Live
(repeat)

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(repeat)
America’s Funniest Home Videos
(new)
Shark Tank
(new)
Shark Tank
(repeat)
CBS 60 Minutes
(new)
God Friended Me
(new)
NCIS: Los Angeles
(new)
Madam Secretary
(new)
The CW Local Supergirl
(repeat)
Charmed
(repeat)
Local
FOX The Simpsons
(repeat)
Bob’s Burgers
(repeat)
The Simpsons
(new)
Bob’s Burgers
(new)
Family Guy
(new)
Rel
(new)
Local/News
NBC The Golden Globes Red Carpet
(live)
The Golden Globes
(live)

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