We’ll talk about ‘The Conners’ and Big Bird, but first I want to laugh at Ted “White Castle” Cruz


Ted Cruz and Beto O’Rourke had another debate last night and I somehow managed to miss it, but that’s OK because all I need to know to make an informed choice is summed up in this second brilliant anti-Ted campaign ad, Ted:

Full disclosure: my grandfather and my husband both love (or in the case of my deceased grandfather, loved) White Castle. My grandfather and my husband are also both Yankees. Ted.

In TV news, I updated my renewal/cancellation gallery and somehow forgot to post it over here. So here it is.

Carol Spinney, the original Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch, is retiring from Sesame Workshop this week after 50 years. “I always thought, How fortunate for me that I got to play the two best Muppets?” he said. “Playing Big Bird is one of the most joyous things of my life.” MY HEART. (And check out Mr. Spinney’s original artwork in this piece, if you are looking for a good reason to cry today.)

The Conners debuted last night, and just as predicted, they killed Roseanne off with an opioid overdose. The show opened with the family believing that she died of a heart attack before an autopsy revealed that, in fact, she had been hiding her addiction to pills. This was in keeping with a storyline from the last season of Roseanne, in which it was revealed that Roseanne had become addicted to opioids after a knee surgery. Personally, at the time, I thought the plot development was surprising but also positive — that the show was being brave enough to address a national crisis in such a personal and immediate way. It wasn’t Roseanne’s friend at the grocery store who was addicted to pills, it wasn’t her sister or her neighbor, it was the star of the show herself. And so, once the catastrophe of Roseanne Barr’s own making happened with the show, it just made sense that Roseanne’s character would have to be killed off and that she would die the way so many thousands of fellow Americans have died: of a tragic overdose. The original series never shied away from difficult subjects or softened their edges, why should opioid addiction be any different?

None of this, of course, satisfied Roseanne Barr who in an attempt to bring the attention back to herself called the decision to kill off the character “grim and morbid,” and described the show has a “happy family show.” (Has she ever seen Roseanne?) Barr also tweeted:

OK, great, go away now, please.

Anyway, The Conners was pretty good last night. John Goodman is a goddamned acting genius and Sara Gilbert perfectly captures Roseanne’s barbed wit — which is not surprising, she has since she was a child. And the episode captured the feel of the original series without making you feel dirty for watching and supporting a Trump-supporting conspiracy-minded nutjob.

HERE’S A THOUGHT: How about we don’t give hate groups a platform to recruit people on our morning shows, The Today Show?

In our politically tense times, it’s important to remember that people can change and evolve, as this lovely and tangentially TV-related story attests.

Issa Rae on the fact that 62% of the audience of Insecure is white: 

“That threw me all the way the f— off,” Rae said, to laughter from her listeners. “Which is great. It makes me want to go back in time and find that person [who said], ‘No one’s interested in watching these’” shows about people of color.

“Even white people are tired of seeing white-people shows,” Rae added to even more laughs, “turning on the TV and going, ‘Aargh, I know this story already.’ It’s overdue.”

Fun Fact: Next year’s “Treehouse of Horror” Simpson’s episode will be the series 666th.

Hulu is looking into creating a cheaper and skinnier live TV bundle. If you’re interested.

Will Netflix be able to survive when Disney and WarnerMedia pull back their content for their own streaming services?

While we’re discussing Netflix: To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before was one of their most popular original movies ever.

A Friends reboot is never ever ever going to happen, even though it is the show people want rebooted the most.

Don’t get your hopes up for an Enlightened reboot on HBO, either.

Jane Curtin remains a badass.

io9 lists TV’s 13 “most iconic witches” and the fact that Myrtle Snow is not number one just shows how much a fucking travesty this is.

This list of 31 scary things to stream is pretty strong. I just watched Ghostwatch a few weeks ago and can attest that as a fan of dumb ghost shows, it was a lot of fun.

Sex Monster News

The President of the United States called a woman he had sex with right after his wife had given birth to his child “Horseface” on Twitter yesterday.

I was inclined to not even mention this in part because it’s just more tawdriness and if you’re anything like me, you’re exhausted and grossed out by all of this. But here’s the thing, there was much hand-wringing on cable news about this tweet yesterday, wondering why he would attack yet another woman — doesn’t he want female voters to like him? And I couldn’t believe it — it’s almost as though they haven’t been paying the slightest bit of attention to the past two years. President Monster only wins when he is dividing us. His power lies in the culture wars that inflame us. He feels — not incorrectly — that the racial resentments he stoked helped him by bringing his base closer to him and enraging the rest of us. And following the Kavanaugh disaster, he’s learned that being openly misogynistic will actually benefit him. That while the #MeToo voices are loud, there also are plenty of men who are angry at and scared by women in this moment, who will support him in his brutal ugliness. He wants us to hate one another, he wants to tear the country apart, it’s the only way he survives.

According to an article on the website LaughSpin, in one of his recent comedy sets, Louis C.K. said he had been to “hell and back,” joked that it’s “been a weird year,” and said he “lost $35 million in an hour.” And then the article ended with this:

Editor’s Note: A previous version of this article claimed Louis C.K. masturbated in front of women without their consent. He, more accurately, would repeatedly ask women at work if he could masturbate in front of them. Although abusing a power dynamic in a hotel room at a work convention, he did ask and receive consent from the two young female comedians.

ACTUALLY, according to the two women this refers to, they did not give their consent at all:

And they are only one of several allegations against Louis C.K. So yeah, it wasn’t consensual, and he still isn’t addressing what he did except to talk about what he’s been through so fuck this guy.

Come on, Javier Bardem, no.

Jason Miller is suing Gizmodo over the story they published accusing him of putting an abortion pill into a woman’s smoothie.

Nicole Kidman wrote an essay in which she explains that being married to Tom Cruise protected her from sexual harassment in Hollywood. Because that’s the thing: sexual harassment is all about power.

So, a town in New Jersey who is being sued for sexual harassment because one of their police officers hit other cops and employees with a large dildo, claim that it’s not sexual harassment because five of the people who were hit with said dildo are men. See … no. Nope! No.

Please stop mock-raping people in haunted houses. Thanks.

I want to end this section on a high note: Shonda Rimes is the highest-paid showrunner in television, and she’s not going to hide it anymore. “Bless your talented heart, Ryan Murphy.”


  • Fuller House may end after the fourth season on Netflix. Stay tuned.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Adam Sandler: 100% Fresh will premiere on Netflix on October 23.
  • Escaping the Madhouse: The Nellie Bly Story will debut on Lifetime on January 19. Hey, American Horror Story: Asylum fans, this is the true story that season was based on.
  • Legends of Tomorrow returns on The CW on Monday.


Dennis Hof, Brothel owner, and pro-Trump Nevada political candidate featured on HBO’s Cathouse.


American Horror Story: Apocalypse: RETURN TO MURDER HOUSE, Y’ALL. 8 p.m., Bravo

CMT Artists of the Year: The women of country music are honored in this special. Carrie Underwood, Miranda Lambert, Kelsea Ballerini are featured. 7 p.m., CMT

Neanderthal: A group of experts design the first “scientifically accurate 3D Neanderthal.” Whatever that means. Series premiere. 9 p.m., PBS

Late Night: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Peter Dinklage, Busy Philipps, Noname The Late Late Show with James Corden: Jamie Lee Curtis, Felix Mallard, Colin Macleod Jimmy Kimmel Live: Cardi B, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, J. Balvin featuring Zion & Lennox The Daily Show: Julian Castro Watch What Happens Live: Kameron Westcott, Carson Kressley


WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Goldbergs
American Housewife
Modern Family
Single Parents
A Million Little Things
CBS Survivor
Criminal Minds
CW Riverdale
All American
FOX Empire
NBC Chicago Med
Chicago Fire
Chicago P.D.


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