All the TV things we can talk about that are not the news

Let’s look at some Halloween costume ideas and not talk about the news.

Let’s talk about a throw pillow on the Murphy Brown set and not the news. We can also talk about how Hillary Clinton was on the Murphy Brown premiere last night which is closer to news but still not the news.

Here are all the jokes on The Good Place you might have missed because you were too busy raging about the news.

HBO is going to stop broadcasting boxing which is good news and not the news.

This is Tom Hanks dressed as Mister Rogers which is a very good antidote to the news.

This post wonders if Great News or Quantico could possibly be revived by a streaming service, and the answer is no and this is not news.

Marcia Cross is recovering from cancer which is good news.

A Jeopardy! contestant proposed on camera which is much happier news than the news.

JWoww and Roger are divorcing because love is dead but that is not news.

Time’s Up

Bill Cosby’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame has been vandalized in the most predictable turn of events ever.

Kanye West reportedly wanted Louis C.K. to host Saturday Night Live this week because SHUT THE FUCK UP, KANYE.

Micahel Darby, husband of Ashley Darby on The Real Housewives of Potomac, has been charged with sexual assault after he groped a cameraman.

Rose McGowan has apologized to Asia Argento for comparing her to Harvey Weinstein. I mean, whatever.

Nelly has settled with a rape accuser.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • Star Trek: Short Treks premieres on CBS All Access on October 4.
  • Station 19 returns next Thursday on ABC and will crossover with Grey’s Anatomy.

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

King Lear: Anthony Hopkins and Emma Thompson star in this adaptation of the classic Shakespearean drama. Amazon

Chef’s Table: Season five. Netflix

Last Man Standing: Tim Allen is back. How long before he starts “tweeting on Ambien?” Series premiere. 7 p.m., ABC

MacGyver: “Mac puts aside his differences with his father and returns when he hears Jack is the target of a murderous dictator he double-crossed.” Season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS

The Cool Kids: Vicki Lawrence, Martin Mull, David Allen Grier, and Leslie Jordan in a retirement home comedy by the Sunny guys. Series premiere. 7:30 p.m., CBS

Hawaii Five-0: “After Steve’s CIA agent friend is killed, McGarrett lets himself be captured by the group he thinks is responsible and endures a torturous sensory deprivation tank to find the killer.” Um, what? Season premiere. 8 p.m., CBS

Hell’s Kitchen: Season premiere. 8 p.m. Fox

Blue Bloods: “Danny takes on a personal case involving a drug cartel member, Louis Delgado, who Danny believes is responsible for torching his house.” Season premiere. 9 p.m., CBS

Truth & Lies: Jonestown, Paradise Lost: A look at the 1978 massacre 40 years later. 7 p.m., ABC

Wynonna Earp: “Wynonna has a run in with the Revenants that leads her to an unexpected revelation about the curse.” Season finale. 8 p.m., Syfy

Outcast: “Kyle reluctantly teams up with the mysterious stranger in an attempt to finally end the possession threat.” Season finale.  9 p.m., Cinemax

SATURDAY

Saturday Night Live: Adam Driver & Kanye. 10:30 p.m., NBC

Phantom Thread: A 1950s tailor becomes obsessed with a working-class woman in this Oscar bait film. 7 p.m., HBO

SUNDAY

America’s Funniest Home Videos: Season premiere. (Except in Houston.) 6 p.m., ABC

The Simpsons: Basically, you know that movie about the boy who claims to have gone to heaven? Heaven is Real? That, but with Bart. Season premiere.  7 p.m., Fox

Bob’s Burgers: “Tina decides to disguise herself as a boy and sneak into the Boyz 4 Now auditions.” Season premiere.  7:30 p.m., Fox

God Friended Me: God stalks a dude on social media. Series premiere. 7:30 p.m., CBS

Family Guy: “Brian meets and falls in love with a woman named Jess, who reveals she has cancer.” Season premiere.  8 p.m., Fox

NCIS: Los Angeles: “Gravely injured and unable to communicate with the team in the U.S., Callen, Sam, and Kensi, with an unconscious Deeks in tow, search for a safe way home as a cartel boss places a “dead or alive” bounty on their heads.” Season premiere.  8:30 p.m., CBS

Fear the Walking Dead: Hey, remember how I was going to blog this season? Yeah. Season finale. 8 p.m., AMC

Insecure: Season finale. 9:30 p.m., HBO

Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Paul Giamatti, Common, Shin Lim The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): Kristen Bell Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Dr. Simone Whitmore, Dave Holmes

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Truth & Lies: Jonestown, Paradise Lost
(new)
20/20
(new)
CBS MacGyver
(new)
Hawaii Five-0
(new)
Blue Bloods
(new)
CW Masters of Illusion
(new)
Masters of Illusion
(repeat)
Penn & Teller: Fool Us
(repeat)
Local
FOX Last Man Standing
(new)
The Cool Kids
(new)
Hell’s Kitchen
(new)
Local
NBC Manifest
(repeat)
New Amsterdam
(repeat)
Dateline
(new)


SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC College Football: Ohio State at Penn State
(live)
News/Local
CBS Magnum P.I.
(repeat)
48 Hours
(new)
News/Local
FOX College Football: BYU at Washington
(live)
News/Local
NBC College Football: Stanford at Notre Dame
(live)
News/Local Saturday Night Live
(Adam Driver & Kanye West)


SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(new)
Frozen Shark Tank
(new)
CBS NFL
(new)
60 Minutes
(new)
God Friended Me
(new)
NCIS: Los Angeles
(new)
FBI
(repeat)
FOX The Simpsons
(repeat)
Bob’s Burgers
(repeat)
The Simpsons
(new)
Bob’s Burgers
(new)
Family Guy
(new)
Rel
(new)
Local/News
NBC Sunday Night Football: Ravens at Steelers
(live)

 

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