Happy Treason Day!

Oh, lord, I don’t even know where to begin on this completely batshit morning when the man who was elected President stood next to Vladimir Putin and attacked our intelligence agencies, the Mueller investigation, Hillary Fucking Clinton for some reason, and the Democratic party, and essentially committed treason in front of our very eyes. I mean, the Stooge-in-Chief called the investigation — WHICH JUST INDICTED 12 RUSSIANS FOR HACKING THE ELECTION — a “disaster for our country” while standing next to the man who hacked our election. Asked if he holds Russia accountable for anything, he said: “I do feel we have both made some mistakes. The probe is a disaster for our country, it has kept us apart, separated. There was no collusion at all everybody knows it.”Just astonishing.

And yet it is not astonishing at all. After all, Trump started the morning with a tweet literally attacking our country:

The Russian Foreign Ministry liked this tweet very much, by the way:

But that press conference this morning …

“I don’t seen any reason” why Russia would have meddled in the 2016 presidential election, Trump told a Helsinki hall full of reporters. “I don’t see why they would do it,” Trump added.

Nope. No reason.

“I have great confidence in my intelligence people but I will tell you that President Putin was extremely strong and powerful in his denial today and what he did is an incredible offer.”

oprah disbelief

REPORTER: Did you want President Trump to win the election and did you direct any of your officials to help him do that?

PUTIN: Yes, I did. Yes, I did.

hillary-clinton-annoyed

In good (?) news, there’s totally a pee tape.

Putin, meanwhile, got asked if he had any compromising intel on Trump. “I didn’t know Trump was in town” when he stayed at the Ritz Carlton in Moscow in 2013, during which visit, the infamous dossier suggests, the Kremlin collected compromising material on the future president, (aka pee tape).

Putin suggested to the American reporters in the hall that they “disregard” the issue and “don’t think about it any more.”

Even Fox News can’t believe this bullshit:

I could scream about how Russia stole the election and installed an addle-brained idiot as our President here for days but, as I keep reminding myself, this is a TV blog, not a JESUS CHRIST I HATE THE TRAITOR-IN-CHIEF SO MUCH blog. (But if you want to read a really great piece that puts all of the disparate pieces of the collusion story into a cohesive narrative, please read this story from New York Magazine.) So instead, I’ll focus on how he attacked the media this weekend because as I keep insisting, that’s sorta related to TV, right?

President Lackey began with this tweet in response to not taking Jim Acosta’s questions during the press conference with Theresa May:

First of all, you half-wit, you didn’t “take down” Jim Acosta. There was nothing strong or brave about not taking questions from a reputable journalist who is a member of the White House Press Corp. Also, based on your performance in Helsinki today, saying that you lost to Putin is hardly “Fake News.”

But he wasn’t done. Clearly still stinging by all the media analysis that somehow was shocked that he would still hold the summit with Putin following the indictments against Russia for INTERFERING IN OUR GOD DAMNED ELECTION and suggesting that Putin had the very obvious upper hand in this meeting, President Benedict Arnold tweeted the following:

That’s right, our news media is the “enemy of the people,” and not the man who our intelligence agencies have determined undermined our democracy. Got it.

And then, in an almost too perfect metaphor for all of this, ahead of Putin and President Lap Dog’s press conference this morning, Russian security literally dragged a credentialed reporter from The Nation out of the room:

I just don’t know anymore, you guys. I didn’t think things could get worse, and yet they somehow find a way.

In Actual TV News

Y’all can watch all of the fourth and final season of UnREAL on Hulu RIGHT NOW.

Who Is America?, Sacha Baron Cohen’s show, debuted last night on Showtime and he managed to trick Joe Walsh (among others) to advocate arming preschoolers. Walsh is blaming the teleprompter because we all know about those mind-controlling teleprompters. One of Sacha Baron Cohen’s other characters has launched a conspiracy website: truthbrary.org. Anyway, here’s the time Sacha Baron Cohen interviewed Donald Trump.

Here are the theories floating around about Rick’s departure from The Walking Dead.

Is The Mountain hinting that Cleganebowl is finally going to happen? I can’t imagine that the show will deny the fans what they have been clamoring for, but then again, Lady Stoneheart, so.

Here is Olivia Colman as the Queen in the next season of The Crown. I can’t wait for the episode where she’s embarrassed by a giant American buffoon.

Vince Gilligan has no idea what he’s doing. (Just kidding, he’s a showrunning genius.)

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend‘s fourth and final season will be extra long, hooray!

Honestly, Madonna should be BEGGING for a role on Pose.

Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind will air on HBO tonight. Here’s what Bobcat Goldthwait, one of his closest friends, told his son when Williams died.

Reportedly, the folks at HBO aren’t worried about that report saying that AT&T wants the network to become Netflix, because they know that everyone will just quit.

The Bruce Willis roast took place this weekend. Demi Moore made a surprise appearance and Dennis Rodman was booed.

The Countess is back in rehab, you guys, and won’t make it to the reunion.

Alex Trebek is being sued by a woman who says his dog chased her into traffic. In unrelated news, I still think his face looks weird without a mustache.

#MeToo

Yvette Nicole Brown will be the interim host of Talking Dead while the Chris Hardwick investigation continues.

Harvey Weinstein admitted to offering actresses jobs for sex in an interview in The Spectator but then his lawyers had the piece taken down, claiming it wasn’t an interview, it was a conversation between two friends. OK.

Michael Avenatti is coming for you, James Woods.

The Suffolk County District Attorney’s office wants Lincoln Adim to wear a GPS monitor.

Corey Sligh, an actor formerly on The Young and the Restless, has been convicted of child molestation.

Renewals

  • Queer Eye has been renewed by Netflix for a third season, hooray!

Cancellations

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • Shameless returns on Showtime on September 9.
  • Casual’s final season debuts on July 31 on Hulu.
  • It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia returns on FXX on September 5.

  • Mad Dog Made will debut on Discovery on August 3.
  • Stranger Things seems to be teasing a Summer 2019 return.
  • Doctor Who is returning soon!
  • Bonding will premiere on Blackpills sometime in 2018.

R.I.P.

Roger Perry, Actor on Falcon Crest, and Facts of Life, among many many others.

Robert Wolders, Actor on Laredo among others.

George Jenson, Art director, illustrator and visual effects director on movies like Return of the Jedi, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Dune, Terminator 2, Logan’s Run and Master and Commander. He got his start on TV shows The Time Tunnel and Lost in Space.

Mai Tai Sing, Actress on Hong Kong, Hawaii Five-0 and Jake and the Fat Man.

Alan Johnson, Choreographer for many TV specials and Mel Brooks films including Young Frankenstein and The Producers.

WATCH THIS

The Bachelorette: The dreaded hometowns are here. Cringe-inducing and boring all at the same time! 7 p.m., ABC

Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind: This documentary explores the comedic genius that was Robin Williams. 7 p.m., HBO

Real Housewives of Orange County: The ladies work to rebuild the trust between them. Good luck with that. Season premiere. 8 p.m., Bravo

Late Night with Seth Meyers: AND HE’S BACK. FINALLY. 11:30 p.m., NBC

Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Jamie Foxx, Taron Egerton, Zoey Deutch, Mark Normand Late Night with Seth Meyers: Kristin Chenoweth, Andrew Rannells, Emmanuelle Caplette The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Armie Hammer, Colleen Ballinger, Paula Poundstone Jimmy Kimmel Live: Jason Sudeikis, Danica Patrick, Michael Ray The Daily Show: Boots Riley Watch What Happens Live: Shannon Beador, Tamra Judge

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Bachelorette
(new)
The Proposal
(new)
CBS TKO
(repeat)
Salvation
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Elementary
(new)
CW Penn & Teller: Fool Us
(new)
Whose Line is it Anyway?
(new)
Whose Line is it Anyway?
(repeat)
Local
FOX So You Think You Can Dance
(new)
9-1-1
(repeat)
News/Local
NBC American Ninja Warrior
(new)

Dateline

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