It’s been a while since I went off on an unhinged rant about our unhinged President. So what’s ol’ Syphilis Brain up to today?
“Our Country’s biggest enemy is the Fake News so easily promulgated by fools!”
DEEP CLEANSING BREATH.
So, if you’ve been living in a cave for the past month and have just this very moment walked into the light of day, Donald Trump went to Singapore earlier this week where he met Kim Jong-Un, the brutal murderous dictator of North Korea, and gave North Korea something the reclusive dictatorship has long been seeking: legitimacy and equal footing with the United States. After meeting, Trump and Kim released a joint statement in which North Korea “reaffirmed” their commitment to a denuclearized Korean peninsula and Trump promised to provide “security guarantees” to North Korea. Let me be clear: contrary to what Trump keeps screaming on Twitter, it was merely a statement, not a “deal,” there were no terms, numbers, requirements, dates, anything actually binding.
Oh, and also, Trump promised to end joint military exercises with South Korea in exchange for … nothing concrete. The biggest beneficiaries of this? Obviously North Korea, but also China and … wait for it … Russia. Who, apparently, came up with the idea in the first place. “Trump had an idea about how to counter the nuclear threat posed by North Korea, which he got after speaking to Russian President Vladimir Putin: If the U.S. stopped joint military exercises with the South Koreans, it could help moderate Kim Jong Un’s behavior.”
But “NO COLLUSION” and “WITCH HUNT,” yadda yadda yadda.
Anyway, before I get derailed on the Russia investigation and Robert Mueller — HURRY UP, BOB — my original point is that experts on North Korea agree that the Trump/Kim summit was at best nothing more than a glorified photo op. But at worst, it propped up a dangerous autocrat, weakened our position in the Pacific and handed over power to our enemies in exchange for fuckall.
And here’s the thing about President Toddler Hands: he is desperate for love, to be adored, and when he is not, he lashes out. He genuinely believed — as he did when he fired James Comey — that everyone would be profoundly impressed by this worthless meeting with Kim, and that he would be universally praised, that even his critics would have to begrudgingly give him credit.
And if Kim were busily dismantling their nuclear program (a result that was never going to happen and will never happen), maybe Trump would have earned that Nobel Prize that his followers fantasize about. But he didn’t, and because news outlets like CNN and NBC have the temerity to say as much, he has labeled them “the biggest enemy” of The United States. Not ISIS, not Al-Qaeda, not Iran or North Korea or LOL, Russia … Nope! The “biggest enemy” of The United States is the free fucking press.
It’s just one more stop on Donald Trump’s journey to undermine the Constitution because it stands directly in his way to becoming a dictator. The problem that I am having is that it’s almost becoming difficult to muster outrage over another assault on one of the most important checks to Trump’s power. But that, of course, is the point: he has to continually assure his followers that any negative reporting about him is false, while also wearing the rest of us down so that we become inured to the legitimately horrifying notion that the most powerful man on the planet is eroding the trust in the Fourth Estate.
Don’t become complacent about this dangerous and un-American behavior; that’s exactly what he wants us to be.
In Other TV News
The AT&T/Time Warner merger has been given approval. I have mixed feelings about this: on the one hand, giant mergers like this rarely benefit the customer, and this will open the door to more mergers — and less competition. On the other, the Justice Department tried to block the merger because Donald Fucking Trump wanted to punish CNN and Jeff Zucker, and so I’m glad he lost in his blatant attempt to hurt the free press. All I’m saying is that it is a weird time when the WGA and Trump are on the same side of an issue.
Holy cow, and to think we all thought the worst thing Lincoln on The Bachelorette had done was shit on the floor of his employer’s bathroom. WHO IS VETTING THESE PEOPLE? IS ANYONE VETTING THEM?
The head of NBC says the term “Peak TV” is inaccurate because we are nowhere near the top. He’s talking volume, not quality, by the way.
Bravo is being sued for filming the birth of Jeff Lewis’ child without the surrogate mother’s permission.
Sure, Stephen Colbert is beating Jimmy Fallon in the ratings, but who is the king on YouTube?
Are midseason shows canceled more often? Yes, but that’s because the networks debut the shows that they have less faith in during midseason. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Did one of your favorite shows get canceled this spring? Here’s a handy cheat sheet to the various campaigns to save a handful of shows. BUT I SEE NOTHING ABOUT PEOPLE OF EARTH ON HERE. #peopleofearth #savepeopleofearth
Marvel’s Cloak & Dagger is Freeform’s biggest debut in more than two years, so I guess there is no end in sight for the superhero trend.
PLOT TWISTS! (Although can you really count something that happened on a reality show a “plot” twist?)
Good news: Netflix is going to keep Anthony Bourdain’s Parts Unknown on the platform for “months to come.” Previously, the series was scheduled to leave Netflix on Friday. Now go watch the Houston episode.
He was precise when he told Barack Obama that he wished more Americans had passports. And indeed, it’s hard to argue against the idea that the portion of our republic that hasn’t ventured abroad is the deadweight now dragging us into national mediocrity, insisting that all points of the compass save ours lack basic liberties, or don’t exalt human values, or don’t eat, drink, cure the sick, proscribe violence or educate fools with greater efficacy than we do in this fading realm. They won’t go there. They won’t dare. Yet they already know how exceptional America is and how miserable and frightening the rest of the world must surely be.
Go, move, see, feel, eat – grow. The Church of Bourdain was founded not merely on the ever-more-vulnerable national credo that all Americans are created equal, but on the much more ambitious insistence that this declaration might be applied wherever you wandered and with whomsoever you cooked or shared a meal. He remains, for many of us, the American that we wish ourselves to be in the world’s sight. To have him widely displayed as our countryman, open to and caring about the rest of the world, and being so amid our current political degradation — this was ever more important and heroic. To lose him now, amid so many fear-mongering, xenophobic tantrums by those engaged in our misrule, is hideous and grievous.
Sex Monster News
“I think the norms have really changed in terms of, what you can do to somebody against their will,” he said. “You don’t have to physically assault somebody to make them, you know, uncomfortable at work or at home or in their other — just walking around.” Oh my God, someone make Bill Clinton shut up.
Paul Marciano has resigned from Guess after being accused of sexual misconduct by a number of women.
Jamie Foxx has been accused of hitting a woman with his penis 16 years ago and has filed a police report. He’s filing a police report against her in response for filing a false police report.
Rose McGowan was indicted on cocaine charges. She claims the drugs were planted on her by Weinstein’s goons. Who knows.
I agree full-throatedly with this piece about how women do not want to hear your “good guy” bullshit.
- RuPaul’s Drag Race has been renewed for season 11.
- Vida has been renewed for a second season by Starz.
- B the Beginning has been renewed by Netflix.
- Jeff Ross: Roast Battle has been renewed by Comedy Central.
- Red Table Talk has been renewed by Facebook Watch for 13 more episodes.
- The Reductress Hour, a late night talk show starring Abby Elliott, has been set at Comedy Central.
- The Changeling is being developed into a series by FX.
- Netflix has ordered three unscripted series: The Fix, Westside and Sugar Rush.
- Carter and Gone have been picked up by WGN America.
- Vikingskool has been picked up by Disney Channel.
- Florida Girls has been ordered by Pop.
- Minnie the Minx is being turned into a live action series.
- James Wolk is going to star in Tell Me a Story.
- Dania Ramirez is also going to star in Tell Me a Story.
- Tara Lipinski will appear as herself in Kidding.
- Kelly Clarkson, Ricky Martin, Blake Shelton and Keith Urban will perform on the Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular on NBC.
Mark Your Calendars
- Bobcat Goldthwait’s Misfits and Monsters debuts on TruTV on July 11 and it looks wonderful:
- In Search Of will debut on History on July 20.
The Real Housewives of New York City: Luann goes to rehab, and Jill buries Bobby. 8 p.m., Bravo
Gordon Ramsay’s 24 Hours to Hell and Back: Ramsay harasses business owners again. Series premiere. 8 p.m., Fox
The Originals: The siblings have to work together in the series finale. 8 p.m., The CW
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: John Travolta, Sophia Bush, Dierks Bentley Late Night with Seth Meyers: Claire Danes, Hannibal Buress, Amber Mark, Brian Frasier-Moore The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Anthony Scaramucci, Michael Avenatti, Betty Gilpin, Chromeo featuring DRAM The Late Late Show with James Corden: Bob Odenkirk, Sarah Silverman Jimmy Kimmel Live: Jamie Foxx, Gallant featuring A$AP Ferg Conan: Nick Offerman, Moshe Kasher, Rell Battle The Daily Show: Ian Bremmer The Opposition with Jordan Klepper: Hari Kondabolu Watch What Happens Live: Leslie Bibb, Carole Radziwill
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