Thanks to disgusting men like Eric Schneiderman (whom we will get to), all women are feeling a little bit like Woke “KILL ‘EM ALL” Dolores these days, so let’s start with Sunday’s bloody and satisfying Westworld episode.
First of all, to all my Losties, did you recognize Colonel Brigham?
OK, THIS IS JUST A VERY GOOD WESTWORLD THEORY. Who knows? Many a TV theory has been blown out of the water in the past, but I happen to like this one.
In non-Westworld news, here’s a curious Game of Thrones spoiler. What’s [SPOILER] doing at [SPOILER]?
Speaking of Netflix, here is our first look at the last Sense8.
Yes, it looks like Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD is going to go there. Do not read if you want to remain unspoiled for Avengers: Infinity War.
The Office is going to be a musical, because why not.
Fun Fact That I Did Not Know: Nasim Pedrad has a sister who is a producer on Will & Grace and New Girl and was a writer on 30 Rock.
For those of you who don’t have Netflix or who have been dragging your heels about watching the John Mulaney special, here’s the “best political joke of the Trump era”:
After the apparently historic 2011 White House Correspondent’s Dinner, Seth Meyers invited Trump to appear on his show. Michael Cohen told Meyers Trump would only do so if Meyers would offer Trump an on-air apology for his WHCD jokes, and Meyers was all, “Yeah, fuck off with that.”
It’s almost cute that Joe Piscopo is clutching his pearls over Stormy Daniels being on Saturday Night Live (almost), and worrying what he will tell his children as if somehow it’s SNL’s fault Donald Trump fucked a porn star and then paid her a six-figure sum to shut her up on the eve of the election. Did he also get mad at The Washington Post when the Access Hollywood tape came out?
Time’s Up Motherfuckers
Fucking Eric Schneiderman. The New York State Attorney General, who was one of the prosecutors leading the charge against Harvey Weinstein and who was a thorn in Donald Trump’s side for years and who was supposed to be the gatekeeper for state charges against Trump and his cronies — charges that he wouldn’t be able to pardon away as President, was exposed as being a physically and emotionally abusive sex goblin:
They allege that he repeatedly hit them, often after drinking, frequently in bed and never with their consent. Manning Barish and Selvaratnam categorize the abuse he inflicted on them as “assault.” They did not report their allegations to the police at the time, but both say that they eventually sought medical attention after having been slapped hard across the ear and face, and also choked. Selvaratnam says that Schneiderman warned her he could have her followed and her phones tapped, and both say that he threatened to kill them if they broke up with him.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg with this asshole. Three hours after the story was published, Schneiderman resigned, but still claims that he did nothing wrong, that it was just “role-playing.”
Schneiderman, a prominent Democrat, is a reminder that no one party has a clean record on this issue — there are gross sex monsters in both political parties. That said, there is a difference in how the parties have responded in the wake of #MeToo: as noted in this case, Harvey Weinstein’s and Al Franken’s, the Democrats are not tolerating abusers or harassers while Republicans continue to support pedophiles, kidnappers and rapists — so long as they are Republican.
PRO TIP TO ALL MEN: If Ronan Farrow starts sniffing around and asking questions, just go ahead and resign. Just cop to whatever the fuck horrible thing you did and walk away. (And can we just talk about how weird it is that Mia Farrow and Frank Sinatra’s son [who was raised by Woody Allen] has become the greatest journalist of our moment? This timeline, it is strange.)
Two more women have stepped forward to accuse R. Kelly of basically keeping them prisoner in his home — to the point of having to ask his permission to go to the bathroom. Meanwhile, Lifetime is working on an R. Kelly documentary series and TV movie.
Speaking of TV series, Ryan Murphy wants his next anthology series to be about #MeToo.
Tom Sizemore is being sued by a woman who says he abused her when she was 11.
It’s the last week ahead of the Upfronts, so here are Cancel Bear’s last best guesses on which shows will be knifed between now and then:
- ABC’s 5 most endangered shows: Inhumans, For the People, The Crossing, Kevin (Probably) Saves the World and Alex, Inc.
- CBS’s 2 most endangered shows: 9JKL and Superior Donuts.
- Fox’s 4 most endangered shows: Ghosted, The Exorcist, LA to Vegas and Brooklyn Nine-Nine
- NBC’s 6 most endangered shows: Taken, Champions, Law & Order: True Crime, Great News, A.P. Bio, and Timeless
- The CW’s most endangered show: Valor
- The 100 has been renewed by The CW for sixth season.
- Good Girls has been renewed by NBC for a second season.
- The Resident has been renewed by Fox for a second season.
- Santa Clarita Diet was renewed by Netflix for a third season.
- Final Space was renewed by TBS for a second season.
- Total Divas has been renewed by E! for two more seasons.
- The Zimmern List was renewed by the Travel Channel.
- Somebody Feed Phil has been renewed by Netflix.
- Life Sentence has been officially canceled by The CW.
- NBC has announced The Village and The Enemy Within are happening.
- Light as a Feather, a horror series, is coming to Hulu.
- Vote for Juan is in the works at TNT — it’s the network’s first Spanish production.
- The podcast Sandra is going to be made into a series.
- Rick Moranis will appear on The Goldbergs as Dark Helmet.
- Ali Wong will voice one of the characters in the Netflix series Tuca & Bertie.
- Dermot Mulroney, Dana Silver and Tembi Locke, Tom Bateman, Rebecca Rittenhouse, Aurora Perrineau, David Hull and Ray Santiago will appear in Into the Dark on Hulu.
- Siddiq and Al will be bigger characters on The Walking Dead.
Mark Your Calendars
- 12 Monkeys returns for its final season on Syfy on June 15. It’s not a great show, but it is a fun one.
- Stolen Daughters: Kidnapped by Boko Haram will air on HBO in the fall.
- Alone returns on History on June 14.
- The Deed will premiere on CNBC on June 13.
Roger Vorce, Founder of the Agency for the Performing Arts
Dick Jefferson, News Producer at CBS and CNN
Norman Rosemont, Television Producer
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: The final part of the reunion. Bye, ladies! 8 p.m., Bravo
Lethal Weapon: A threat is made on Riggs’ life in the season finale. 7 p.m., Fox
Bull: Bull’s team races to try to save their client from the death penalty in the season finale. 7 p.m., CBS
New Girl: Nick’s plan to propose is thrown off, again, in back-to-back episodes. 8 p.m., Fox
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Trevor Noah, Gabrielle Union, Chromeo featuring Dram Late Night with Seth Meyers: Tracee Ellis Ross, Cameron Monaghan, Joe Pera, Aaron Spears The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Michael B. Jordan, Matt Walsh, Heather Pasternak The Late Late Show with James Corden: Melissa McCarthy, Chris Parnell, Wallows Jimmy Kimmel Live: Woody Harrelson, Sara Gilbert, Bazzi Conan: Eva Longoria, Luke Hemsworth The Daily Show: Jon Meacham The Opposition with Jordan Klepper: Mark & Jay Duplass Watch What Happens Live: Winnie Harlow
|Splitting Up Together
|For the People
|NCIS: New Orleans