Oh, Sean Hannity, you lying dumdum. What on earth did you do?

Soooooo yesterday. Yesterday, Donald Trump’s lawyer fixer appeared in federal court along with some lawyers representing President Felonious to ask the judge to appoint an independent entity to go through the documents the FBI took from Cohen to make sure no attorney-client privilege is violated and to allow Trump a first look at the documents.

“Before I can make that decision,” said the judge, “I need to know who your clients are who want attorney-client privilege.”

And Michael Cohen was like, “One client is Donald Trump; another client is Elliott Broidy, the deputy finance chair of the Republican Party for whom I facilitated a payment of $1.6 million to his Playboy Playmate mistress after she got pregnant and had an abortion; and the final client is a super secret.”

“Nope,” said the judge, “You need to tell me who Client #3 is. Now.”

And so after some back and forth and some hemming and hawing by both Cohen and Trump’s other attorneys, the lawyers offered to write the name on a piece of paper and give it to the judge. That’s when an attorney representing a bunch of media outlets, including CNN, The New York Times, and others, was like, “AWWW HELL NAW, WE NEED TO KNOW, TOO.”

So the lawyers were forced to name Client #3 to audible gasps from the courtroom: Sean Motherfucking Hannity.

Sean Hannity, who was on his radio show when all of this happened, took a while to put out a statement, eventually tweeting: “Michael Cohen has never represented me in any matter. I never retained him, received an invoice, or paid legal fees. I have occasionally had brief discussions with him about legal questions about which I wanted his input and perspective.” He also claimed that he only talked to Cohen about real estate matters and that he paid him $10 to establish attorney-client privilege.

So … which is it, Sean? Is Cohen your lawyer and therefore you have attorney-client privilege or was he never your lawyer, just some guy you know with whom you shot the shit? Because Michael Cohen and Donald Trump’s lawyers seem to think that he’s your lawyer and said as much to a federal judge.

Now, the obvious leap is that since Michael Cohen paid off women for Trump, Michael Cohen paid off a Playmate for Elliott Broidy … that maybe Michael Cohen paid off a woman for Sean Hannity. But who knows! Maybe! Maybe not! Of course, when you consider all of Fox News’ troubles in the past year with sexual harassment issues, it’s certainly not out of the question.

However, the more intriguing part to keep in mind here is that Cohen and Trump’s lawyers were fighting to protect documents. Which means they seem to think Cohen has some related documents on Hannity. Which seems to suggest that Hannity’s claim that he only asked Cohen for some minor legal advice about real estate issues is certainly utter bullshit. And so, while it would be amazing if Cohen paid a woman off for Hannity, I actually kinda hope it’s something bigger than that, something that Hannity and Trump were both involved with that Cohen took care of for them. (~cough~ Wikileaks, Julian Assange, Russia ~cough~ LOOK, A GIRL CAN DREAM.)

But leaving aside what Cohen did or did not do for Hannity, what we definitely have here is an insane conflict of interest on Hannity and Fox News’ part. Hannity has been the loudest and most ferocious defender of Michael Cohen, screaming that the top of his lungs against Mueller, against the raid on Cohen’s office, and has had Cohen on the broadcast without ever revealing their relationship. Basically, he has been lying to his viewers this entire time.

For those at Fox News who care about being respected as journalists, this is a real problem. And to be fair to other Fox News personalities, some called Hannity out on this, including Juan Williams, Alan Dershowitz and Shep Smith (kinda):

So, did Fox News know? And now that they do know, what are they going to do about it?

But you know what? Honestly, they are unlikely to do anything about it. Sean Hannity is Fox News’ biggest star, and they very likely will look at the calculation at hand: be respected as a source of journalistic integrity versus $$$$, and decide that no one takes them seriously as an unbiased news source anyway, so fuck it, he stays.

That said, it is worth remembering as this case moves forward that Trump’s lawyers, Cohen and Hannity were concerned enough about this relationship being exposed that Hannity was willing to lie about it and risk his career. Whatever is going on here, it’s something good, and we’ll find out about it one day, one way or another.

In the meantime, if you’d like to let Hannnity’s advertisers know how you feel about him:

The New York Times‘ reporting on that asshole Bill O’Reilly earned the paper a Pulitzer Prize. GOOD. SUCK IT, O’REILLY.

So this is amazing. Have you heard of the “Shorty Awards”?  It’s an “awards” ceremony that celebrates short-form content on social media sites like Facebook and Twitter — they literally celebrate internet ads. Anyway, Adam Pally, perhaps best known from Happy Endings, somehow ended up presenting at this year’s Shorty Awards and hated it so much that he started just straight insulting the event for 11 minutes before being dragged off the stage. You can watch it below, or you can just cut to the chase and read all the hilariously mean things he said here. “This is hell.”

A company is making The Handmaid’s Tale-inspired lingerie called “Offred.” What the actual fuck could they be thinking?

It’s Tax Day, and two different outlets seem to think you might want to be reminded of that fact with these TV episodes. Personally, I’d rather not, thanks.

Did you know that Drag Race is in other countries? I did not know that Drag Race was in other countries, but I don’t know why I am surprised to learn that Drag Race is in other countries, since Drag Race is the goddamned best.

A handy reminder that Olivia Pope is not a hero.

Here’s what we know about the upcoming HBO adaptation of Sharp Objects.

Ratings

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • The Four will return on Fox on June 7.
  • Dear White People returns on Netflix on May 4.
  • A Little Help with Carol Burnett will premiere on Netflix on May 4.

R.I.P.

Harry Anderson, Actor, and magician best known for starring in Night Court. His Night Court co-stars remember him.

WATCH THIS

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Oh, shit, is it the season finale already? I GUESS I’M GOING TO HAVE TO PLAY A LOT OF CATCH-UP.  8 p.m., Bravo

Black Lightning: Season finale. 8 p.m., The CW

Frontline: A look at the tempestuous relationship between John McCain and Donald Trump. 9 p.m., PBS

Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Joel McHale, Michael Che, Offset & Metro Boomin The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: James Comey, Jason Aldean The Late Late Show with James Corden: Jason Sudeikis, Ice Cube Jimmy Kimmel Live: LL Cool J, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Portugal. The Man Conan: Jeff Daniels, Lauren Ash The Daily Show: Eric Holder The Opposition with Jordan Klepper: David Corn, Michael Isikoff

 

TUES. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Roseanne
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CW The Flash
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Black Lightning
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FOX Lethal Weapon
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L.A. to Vegas
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New Girl
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NBC The Voice
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