James Comey and the Pee Pee Tape has President Golden Showers SO ANGRY, which is hilarious, but also really fucking terrifying

The James Comey media tour has begun — in the same week that President Cheeto Penis’ lawyer’s office was raided, no less — so buckle up, because shit is about to GO DOWN.

A clip from Sunday’s George Stephanopolous interview aired on Good Morning America this morning in which Comey says a number of damning things, including the fact that the Trump team was unconcerned with Russia, and Trump was completely obsessed with the pee pee tape.

In what was certainly a completely unrelated incident, President Pee Pee Tape tweetraged HARD this morning:

That’s correct, the President of the United States is publicly calling someone a “slime ball.”

But also, too:

Rachel Maddow also got her hands on a copy of the book, and her three takeaways are that the Colluder-in-Chief was trying to make the intelligence community complicit in his team’s activities; that he was more worried about optics of the Russian interference than the actual interference; and that he is VERY worried about the pee pee tape. SO WORRIED. ALL OF THE WORRIED.

Sunday’s interview is just the beginning of Comey’s media tour: he will be on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on Tuesday, The View on Wednesday, in addition to a CNN Town Hall and interviews with MSNBC and Fox News. Oh, and also appearing on The View next week? Stormy Daniels. President Mike Teavee is going to be completely unable to stop himself from watching all of this and he is going to FREAK. OUT.

President Burnitalldown is backed into a corner right now and is itching to fire Mueller by firing Rod Rosenstein — going so far as reportedly asking his friends to go on TV to call for Rosenstein and Mueller’s firing, so that he can point to them and claim that “everyone is saying” he should do it.

Of course, firing Mueller and Rosenstein is exactly the trap Mueller has laid for Trump. Yesterday, negotiations to have President Perjury speak to Mueller reportedly broke down, and Mueller announced that he is preparing to deliver a report that accuses the Obstructor-in-Chief of obstruction of justice based on four incidents. If Donny Trash were to fire Mueller, it would just add fuel to that particular obstruction fire.

However, if we’ve learned anything in the past 15 months, it’s that President FuckIt is happy to do the stupid thing even if it hurts him. What I’m saying is have your comfortable protest shoes ready because shit is about to blow up in 3 … 2 …

Savannah Guthrie and Hoda Kotb argue that “tried and true journalism” is “more important than ever.” ORLY? WHY?

Laura Ingraham lost Red Lobster but gained back Ace Hardware, so, you know. Meanwhile, Ingraham remains defiant and screaming about the First Amendment (which only apparently applies to conservatives, and not to people who are appalled by conservatives’ behavior like bullying teen victims of gun violence) without once mentioning the boycott against her.

In other TV news

George R.R. Martin wishes Lady Stoneheart was in the series. We all do, George. We all do. NOW GET BACK TO WORK, DAMMIT.

Hulu has made adding HBO a lot cheaper ahead of the Westworld premiere later this month.

Carol Burnett is going to be honored with the very first Peabody Career Achievement. GOOD.

The Mad About You reboot inches ever closer. Helen Hunt and Paul Reiser have closed deals with Sony TV to reprise their roles.

Meanwhile, Michael C. Hall is threatening us with a Dexter reboot. NO THANK YOU PLEASE.

Here is just a very nice article about Tahar Rahim, the emotional core of The Looming Tower (which you need to go watch if you haven’t already).

A Jerry Springer Show producer has been charged with murdering her sister. She clearly spent too much time on that show.

Glad you’re OK, Will Ferrell!

Take care of yourself, Emma Kenney.

This has nothing to do with TV, but it’s Friday, so.

Time’s Up

You better believe Kevin Spacey is under investigation by the Los Angeles DA’s office.

SAG-AFTRA has announced that there are to be no more hotel room auditions. IT TOOK THEM THIS LONG?

Asia Argento is a fucking warrior.

Sorry, Disney, your employment agreements with Harvey Weinstein can’t be kept confidential.

I haven’t spent a lot of time on the Bill Cosby trial, because gross. What a monster.

As I’ve been mentioning around here, the United Kingdom has done an unprecedented study on gender pay disparity and Pajiba unpacks the findings.

Women in Animation have drafted an anti-harassment pledge for studios.

Electric Literature came up with a Male Novelist Description Generator for you. When I play, I get the regrettable description: “She had a complexion like a wrinkled tulip and I dreaded to marry her.” I MEAN IT MIGHT BE TRUE BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SO MEAN ABOUT IT.

Renewals

Cancellations

  • Broad City‘s fifth season will be its last WHICH IS A BUMMER, but Abbi and Ilana signed a huge deal with Viacom, so they’re not going anywhere anytime soon.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • Trial & Error returns on NBC on July 19. (This is good — I liked Trial & Error fine, but it works better as a summer show. Hopefully, NBC will save A.P. Bio, which is SO GOOD, Y’ALL, despite its weak ratings and give it a new spot in the summer.)
  • Claws returns on TNT on June 10.
  • The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle returns on Amazon on May 11.
  • The Fourth Estate debuts on Showtime on May 27.

R.I.P.

Timothy O’Connor, Actor

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

Lost in Space: A remake of the 60s series that stars the wonderful Parker Posey. Series premiere. Netflix

Chef’s Table Pastry: Like “Chef’s Table” but with cake. Netflix

Bosch: The fourth season premiere. Amazon

Wyatt Cenac’s Problem Areas: Wyatt’s the most recent Daily Show alum to be given his own HBO series. Series premiere. 10:30 p.m., HBO

SATURDAY

Saturday Night Live: John Mulaney & Jack White 10:30 p.m., NBC

Elvis Presley: The Searcher: A two-part documentary about Elvis. 7 p.m., HBO

SUNDAY

A Higher Loyalty: The Comey/Stephanopoulos Interview: POP THE POPCORN, THIS GONNA BE GOOD. 9 p.m., ABC

The Walking Dead: OH MY GOD JUST KILL EVERYONE ALREADY. 8 p.m., AMC

Fear the Walking Dead: Well, we know at least Morgan survives the All-Out War. Season premiere. 9:10 p.m., AMC

The Circus: The timely political docuseries is back, minus one gropey host. The timing couldn’t possibly be better. Season premiere. 7 p.m., Showtime

Southern Charm: New Orleans: I don’t want to watch this but I am definitely going to watch this. Series premiere. 8 p.m., Bravo

The 53rd Annual Academy of Country Music Awards: Country music junk. 7 p.m., CBS

Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Jeff Daniels, Joe Manganiello, Mike Vecchione The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): Aubrey Plaza, Rainbow Kitten Surprise, Cookie Monster

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Once Upon a Time
(new)
Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
(new)
20/20
(new)
CBS MacGyver
(new)
Hawaii Five-0
(new)
Blue Bloods
(new)
CW Penn & Teller: April Fool Us Day
(repeat)
Jane the Virgin
(new)
Local
FOX MasterChef Junior
(new)
Local
NBC Taken
(new)
Dateline
(new)

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC The Crossing
(repeat)
Station 19
(repeat)
20/20
(repeat)
News/Local
CBS Ransom
(new)
48 Hours
(repeat)
48 Hours
(repeat)
News/Local
FOX UFC Fight Night
(live)
News/Local
NBC NHL Hockey
(live)
News/Local Saturday Night Live
(John Mulaney & Jack White)

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(new)
American Idol
(new)
A Higher Loyalty: The Comey Interview
(new)
CBS 60 Minutes
(new)
Academy of Country Music Awards
(live)
FOX Bob’s Burgers
(repeat)
Bob’s Burgers
(new)
The Simpsons
(new)
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
(new)
The Last Man on Earth
(new)
Local/News
NBC Dateline
(new)
Little Big Shots
(new)
Genius Junior
(new)
Timeless
(new)
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