Another day, another right-wing idiot getting pop culture ALL WRONG. Yesterday at CPAC, the annual conservative political orgy of nihilism, misogyny, and racial hatred, Ted Cruz said the following very dumb thing: “I think the Democrats are the party of Lisa Simpson, and Republicans are happily the party of Homer and Bart and Maggie and Marge.”
First of all, does Ted Cruz truly not understand that Lisa Simpson is the most intelligent character on The Simpsons and serves as the show’s true moral core? So, at least in that respect, Ted Cruz is correct: his party is completely divorced from reason, a respect for intellectualism, knowledge and empirical fact, and empathy.
And I will gladly give Ted Cruz and the GOP Homer and Bart, but trying to take claim of Marge who voted for Jimmy Carter twice and who had this nightmare in 2016:
… and Maggie — WHO IS A FUCKING INFANT — seems like a bit of a stretch. Simpsons’ creator Al Jean agrees:
But second of all, Lisa Simpson famously becomes the President of the United States after Trump WHO LEAVES THE COUNTRY IN FINANCIAL RUIN.
This, of course, is not Ted Cruz’s first pitiful overture to The Simpsons. Recall his horrifying Simpsons‘ impersonations that he did while running for President in a woefully misguided attempt to woo the kidzzz:
Ultimately what this story, and yesterday’s story about the NRA and Parks and Recreation, demonstrate is that the right-wing is desperate to be pop culture relevant, and yet everything they stand for is what pop culture rallies against. They are the villains who think they are the heroes, but fortunately, those writing the stories know the difference.
In Other TV News
Hollywood is pressuring Amazon to drop NRA TV from Prime Video. GOOD. FUCK THOSE GUYS.
And as another illustration of my point above, Dana Loesch once pitched a sitcom about herself: “A hot young mom who does far-right radio show.” No one took her up on the idea because she’s disgusting.
As for that CNN town hall, Jake Tapper calls it the toughest thing he’s ever done at CNN.
Also, a Marjory Stoneman Douglas student claims that a question he had prepared for the town hall was re-written by CNN, thus making him drop out of the project. Trump latched on to this story, calling CNN — all together now — “FAKE NEWS.”
CNN, however, disputes this:
The Looming Tower will debut on Hulu next week. And like The Handmaid’s Tale, it’s more important than ever that we watch. From Lawrence Wright, the author of the original book: “A lot of the anxiety that floats around America stems from the fears we all have. The paranoia, the militarized security state we are building for ourselves—all of that comes out of 9/11. I’m not going to say that Donald Trump might not have been elected under different circumstances, but it’s clear to me that, in many respects, the world we’re in is defined by what happened on that day.”
Oh no, the Russians are all hurt because a Russian actor from the upcoming McMafia had some negative things to say about their — and his — country. My heart bleeds.
I had every intention of blogging The Bachelor Winter Games, I really did, and maybe once I get my life back from the Olympics, I’ll find the time to do so. (Note: I will never find the time to do so.) But apparently, Clare finally found love and a proposal? And Ashley I. finally went to a fantasy suite? So will they stop crying at raccoons now?
Good Omens is going to be faithful to the book, according to David Tennant, at least.
Jason Lews is Team SJP, so I guess we can stop talking about this now?
QUINCY JONES, DON’T YOU APOLOGIZE FOR A DAMN THING.
Sex Monsters
Daniel Handler, aka Lemony Snicket, is disgusting towards women. He says he’s sorry, but gross, Handler. Gross.
This is an enlightening account of being a female writer on late night — specifically in this case for David Letterman. (Special guest appearance by Matt Lauer.)
The Television Academy has revised its code of ethics and standards of professional conduct.
BBC is launching a sweeping review of their policies to try to “sweep away” barriers for women.
Wall Street is bracing for #MeToo. GOOD. THEY SHOULD BE.
Dominic West has Ruth Wilson’s back. It’s obscene that she is paid less than him for The Affair. Obscene.
Oh, fuck off, James Woods. No one wants to hear from you anymore, you creep.
In the worst idea that has ever worsted, professional asshole David Mamet has written a play about Harvey Weinstein. “I don’t understand,” my husband said, “aren’t all Mamet’s plays about Harvey Weinstein?”
Cancellations
- Drunk History has been renewed for a 6th season. Cheers!
In Development
- The Blair Witch Project is being turned into a TV series.
- Memory Palace, a noir thriller VR series, is in the works. I don’t know what any of that means.
- The novel Flashback is being turned into a series.
- Someone is making Convicting a Murderer, a series that tells the other side of the Steven Avery story.
Casting News
- Natalie Morales, who is a wonderful comedic actress and a badass in The Middleman, will star in Mike Schur’s new NBC comedy pilot, Abby.
- Lea Thompson will star in the Lee Daniels Fox comedy pilot, Our People.
- Taye Diggs has been cast in the lead of a CW football project from Greg Berlanti.
- Kristen Chenoweth is your new John Lithgow in Trial and Error.
- Brandon Victor Dixon has joined the cast of Jesus Christ Superstar as Judas.
- Bellamy Young is joining the ABC pilot False Profits.
- Brian J. Smith will star in L.A. Confidential.
- We have the cast of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 10.
- Titus Welliver is going to guest star on Chicago P.D.
- Richard Coyle has been cast as Sabrina the Teenage Witch‘s villain.
- Josh Randall and Vannessa Vasquez have been cast in ABC’s drama pilot Safe Harbor.
- Amirah Vann will star in ABC’s drama pilot, Underground.
- Ana Ortiz will co-star in Whiskey Cavalier.
- Warren Christie has been cast in NBC’s drama pilot, The Village.
- Harriet Dyer has been cast in the lead of In Between Lines, an NBC drama pilot.
- Odessa Adlon has joined the cast of CBS comedy pilot, Fam.
- Nishi Munshi is joining the cast of Pandas in New York, a CBS comedy pilot.
- Dennis Andres will join The Greatest American Hero.
- Elizabeth Ho is joining the cast of the ABC comedy pilot from Justin Noble.
- Gemma Arterton has been cast as Marilyn Monroe in Marilyn Monroe and Billy Wilder for Sky.
- Burgess Abernethy and Laura Mitchell are your new Wills and Kate.
Mark Your Calendar
- Nashville will return for its final season on June 7 on CMT.
- Killing Eve, the psychopath thriller from Phoebe Waller-Bridge, is going to air on BBC America on April 8. I already have my DVR set.
- Fast N’ Loud will return on Discovery on March 12.
- Tough Mudder: Tougher Together will air on The CW on March 15.
- Your Husband is Cheating on Us will premiere on Bravo on April 1.
- Essence Black Women in Hollywood Awards will air on OWN on March 3.
- Evil Tasks: Chilling Confessions will debut on ID on March 12.
- Back in the Game will premiere on CNBC on March 13.
- Staten Island Hustle will premiere on CNBC on April 11.
R.I.P.
George Kaufman, Chairman of Kaufman Astoria Studios. Kaufman Studios has a fascinating history — having started off in the 20s and was home to the Marx Brothers, only to fall into disrepair before Mr. Kaufman saved it in the 70s and 80s and brought film and TV production back to New York City. (It’s also a fascinating place to visit — they don’t have actual tours, but some friends and I went there a couple of years ago and visited the costume department which was AMAZING. It’s right next door to the Museum of the Moving Image, which is a MUST VISIT for any TV fan.)
WATCH THIS
FRIDAY
Mute: Alexander Skarsgard, Justin Theroux, Paul Rudd and Sam Rockwell all star in this futuristic thriller directed by David Bowie’s son. Intriguing. Netflix
Seven Seconds: A new anthological crime drama that stars Regina King who can do no wrong. Series premiere. Netflix
The Olympics: Alpine skiing, snowboarding, bobsled and speed skating. 7 p.m., NBC
SATURDAY
Notes from the Field: Well, this sounds uplifting: “Anna Deavere Smith’s portrayal of 18 real-life characters dramatizes the accounts of students, parents, teachers, and administrators who are caught up in America’s school-to-prison pipeline.” 7 p.m., HBO
Drag Me To Hell: The best Sam Raimi movie you’ve never seen. 8:45 p.m., Cinemax
The Olympics: Figure skating gala, bobsled. 7 p.m., NBC
SUNDAY
The Walking Dead: Carl dies. Mid-season premiere. 8 p.m., AMC
The Bachelor: The Women Tell All: Wait, if this is happening on Sunday, does this mean this season is going to wrap up BEFORE I go on my ski trip? PLEASE BE SO. Look, I’ve got The Walking Dead and the closing ceremonies and I am going to be swamped, but it will be worth it if I don’t have to worry about dumb Arie while I’m trying to get my ski on. 7 p.m., ABC
Ash v. Evil Dead: Ash’s peaceful life comes to an abrupt end. Season premiere. 8 p.m., Starz
Big Brother: Celebrity Edition: Season finale. 7 p.m., CBS
The Olympics: Closing ceremonies. BYE, OLYMPICS. SEE YOU IN ABOUT 22 MONTHS. 6 p.m., NBC
Late Night: Jimmy Kimmel Live (Friday): Saoirse Ronan, Kyle Chandler, Joey Dosik Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Nene Leakes, Marlo Hampton
| FRI. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | Wreck-It Ralph | 20/20 (new) |
| CBS | Celebrity Big Brother (new) |
Blue Bloods (repeat) |
| CW | The 3rd Annual Howie Mandel Stand-Up Gala (repeat) |
Whose Line is it Anyway/ (repeat) |
Local |
| FOX | Showtime at the Apollo (repeat) |
Local |
| NBC | The Winter Olympics (new) |
—
| SAT. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 | 10:00 | 10:30 | 11:00 | 11:30 |
| ABC | NBA Basketball | News/Local |
| CBS | Celebrity Big Brother (new) |
48 Hours (repeat) |
48 Hours (repeat) |
News/Local |
| FOX | UFC Fight Night (live) |
News/Local |
| NBC | The Winter Olympics (new) |
—
| SUN. | 6:00 | 6:30 | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | America’s Funniest Home Videos (new) |
The Bachelor (new) |
Shark Tank (new) |
| CBS | 60 Minutes (new) |
Celebrity Big Brother (new) |
NCIS: Los Angeles (repeat) |
| FOX | Brooklyn Nine-Nine (repeat) |
Bob’s Burgers (repeat) |
The Simpsons (new) |
Ghosted (new) |
Family Guy (new) |
LA to Vegas (new) |
Local/News |
| NBC | The Winter Olympics (new) |