Tina Fey eating cake, yelling at chinless turd Nazis and calling Paul Ryan a pussy has been my internal monologue for the past week

I know this is all over the place this morning, but I don’t care. TINA IS TRUTH. TINA IS ERRRRRRRRYTHING.

“Who drove the car into the crowd, Hillary’s emails??”

YES, MOMMA, YES. 

Meanwhile, on Fox News, a brave personality told the truth and said that Trump’s comments about the rally were “cowardly and dangerous.” She also accused “the president of minimizing ‘blatant, flagrant hatred’ rather than risk roiling a portion of his base.” Guess what? Fox News viewers didn’t like that: “In the days since her segment aired, Ms. Williams said she had received nearly 150 menacing messages from people who denounced her remarks and called her a traitor, a racist, a “disgrace,” and anti-American. Some of the messages, she said, implied an intent to harm, and she said she requested and received a security escort from Fox News.”

And over on CNN, the network refused to air a Trump ad that featured images of Anderson Cooper and Don Lemon while the voice-over reads: “The president’s enemies don’t want him to succeed.” HUH. WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?

And here’s the other host of Celebrity Apprentice‘s clear, profound thoughts on white supremacy, Nazis and hatred:

In other news, HBO keeps getting hacked. Sometimes by their own damn selves.

Hey, do you think Peter “Diastema” Kraus will be the next Bachelor?

LOL, NOPE. 

So, a porn site just offered to save Sense8.

Look, Conan has as good if not a better chance to broker peace in the Middle East than Jared if we are all being honest here.

Here’s a whole interview with David Lynch about the sounds on Twin Peaks. True fact: the Twin Peaks soundtrack gives my dog a panic attack.

Peter Capaldi and Armando Iannucci might be working together again soon, HOORAY!

Nathan for You is coming back, HOORAY!

Party Down is never coming back. BOOOOOOOO.

Teen Wolf is going to have an extra long series finale. (And I use “series finale” loosely here as they are already looking to reboot it.)

In your not news news of the day: Norman Reedus doesn’t want Daryl Dixon to actually die. I mean, OK.

In other Walking Dead news, that show is just one big hotbed of lawsuits.

“Girrrrl. Read Deuteronomy. Not good,” might literally be the funniest internet comment of all time.

“The biggest misconception about Westworld is … ‘That it takes place in the future.'” Wait, what? It doesn’t?

Hey, Hulu, this sounds like a job for you …

Apple is coming for you, Netflix.

This is an important question that we all need to wrestle with.

Renewals

Cancellations

In Development

Casting News

R.I.P.

Beth Howard, documentary producer

Eric Zumbrunnen, film and music video editor

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

Marvel’s The Defenders: The reason Iron Fist was renewed for a second season. Series premiere. Netflix

What Happened to Monday?: A dystopian thriller about a group of septuplets. See below. Netflix

The Birds: The birds aren’t playing around. 7 p.m., TCM

SATURDAY

Halt and Catch Fire: Donna launches a new venture in the season premiere. 8 p.m., AMC

Cops: The 1,000 episode. Somehow, it’s only been 1,000 episodes. 7 p.m., Spike

Nocturnal Animals: This strange movie received such mixed reviews that it almost requires to be viewed. 7 p.m., HBO

SUNDAY

Game of Thrones: Y’ALL, IT’S THE PENULTIMATE EPISODE AND IT IS 75 MINUTES LONG! WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN?!? 8 p.m., HBO

Episodes: Oh! The final season of this underrated sitcom begins! 9 p.m., Showtime

The Last Ship: The crew of the Nathan James faces another disaster in the season premiere. 8 p.m., TNT

Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Jon Hamm, Kate Upton The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): The best moments of the week, with a newly-recorded opening & monologue

 

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Shark Tank
(repeat)
What Would You Do?
(new)
20/20
(new)
CBS Big Brother
(live)
Hawaii Five-0
(repeat)
Blue Bloods
(repeat)
CW Masters of Illusion
(new)
Masters of Illusion
(repeat)
Penn & Teller:
Fool Us

(repeat)
Local
FOX Masterchef
(repeat)
Beat Shazam
(repeat)
Local
NBC America’s Got Talent
(repeat)
Dateline NBC
(new)

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC NFL Football: Patriots at Texans
(live)
News/Local
CBS 48 Hours
(repeat)
Princess Diana: Her Life – Her Death – The Truth
(new)
News/Local
FOX Lucifer
(repeat)
Love Connection
(repeat)
News/Local
NBC NASCAR Racing
(live)
News/Local Saturday Night Live
(repeat)

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(repeat)
Celebrity Family Feud
(repeat)
Steve Harvey’s Funderdome
(new)
The $100,000 Pyramid
(new)
CBS 60 Minutes
(repeat)
Big Brother
(new)
Candy Crush
(new)
NCIS:
Los Angeles

(repeat)
FOX Golf
(live)
Bob’s Burgers
(repeat)
The Simpsons
(repeat)
Family Guy
(repeat)
The Simpsons
(repeat)
Family Guy
(repeat)
NBC Gymnastics
(live)
The Wall
(new)
American Ninja Warrior
(repeat)
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