La Brea
“The Journey, Part 2”
February 28, 2023
Let’s just get this mess over with, yes?
We begin with Gavin impaled on that stalagmite, dying. The others hear something in the cave, and are all, “OH NO IT’S THE POORLY RENDERED CGI GIANT KOMODO DRAGON AGAIN!” but instead, it’s just Daddy James, who also miraculously survived the explosion of the Lazarus tower because of course he did. Who didn’t?
Also, he has the fuel rods that will power Dr. Moore’s inexplicable cave time machine, and he knows how to operate it. How fortunate! And once they disarm him — which they do rather quickly — he can help send everyone back home.
Except … Gavin’s dying. So Eve comes up with a plan: she’ll go back in time a few hours and warn Gavin about the Poorly Rendered CGI Giant Komodo Dragon, and then come back to the present/future and then they can all return to whatever year the present is supposed to be, minus the giant hole in Gavin’s torso.
Izzy decides to join her mother on this dumb-dumb idea that according to all physcists who theorize about time travel shouldn’t work because YOU CAN’T CHANGE THE PAST.
But the two blip into the immediate past anyway, landing a few miles from the corpse-filled campsite.
On their way to the campsite, Eve and Izzy hear a commotion below them, and spy Not Dead Daddy James pulling a gun on Ty and Levi, demanding the fuel rods that they are carrying … somewhere. Somehow I missed where these two were taking them. But it doesn’t matter, because as we know from the scene we just watched, Daddy James is about to take them to where they need to be.
But first, he plans on killing these two for some reason. As Levi tries to negotiate with Not Dead Daddy James — Levi knows Not Dead Daddy James has changed! he’s not the bad man who wanted to change the past and eliminate his family anymore! — Not Dead Daddy James is like, “Yeah, little late for all that.” As he is about to execute Ty and Levi, Izzy and Eve distract him. He shoots towards Ty, grazing his leg, and then runs off with both the gun and the fuel rods. And that seems like it would be awfully heavy to be carrying while running through the desert, but what do I know, obviously nothing at all.
Back in the cave and in the present-future, Riley is still really mad at Dr. Sam for not telling her about his plans to divorce her mom, and HEY, MISSY, MAYBE IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS AND ANYWAY, DON’T YOU HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO BE WORRYING ABOUT LIKE GIANT KOMODO DRAGONS OR CAVE BEARS OR TIME TRAVEL PARADOXES OR THE NICE MAN BLEEDING OUT IN FRONT OF YOU?
Speaking of time travel and the man with the gaping wound, the portal starts making alarming noises and Daddy James is like, “Yeah, so the machine is melting down, but I’m not going to tell you how to fix it until I am allowed to talk to my dying son.”
So Daddy James plops down in front of Gavin, who demands to know what is wrong with the machine. Daddy James pouts that Gavin doesn’t even bother with some pleasantries or conversation. MAYBE BECAUSE HE HAS A CALCIUM CARBONATE CAVE FORMATION JUTTING OUT OF HIM, JAMES.
With a sigh, Daddy James explains that the cooling system is malfunctioning, that there is no running water going through the machine to keep it from overheating, and they only have a few hours before the entire thing will malfunction, trapping them all there. Daddy James wants to fix the machine so that he can go back and restart the Lazarus project, so now it’s Gavin’s time to pout: He’s LITERALLY DYING here, and all Daddy James can think about is his own agenda. Daddy James points out that he lost his son years ago so if Gavin wants his help, he’ll have to agree to Daddy James’ terms.
But also, since we’re so sure we can change the past, if Daddy James is allowed to go back and restart the Lazarus project with information he gleaned from this iteration of the past, it’s possible he can avoid all the mistakes that led to Gavin being trapped on a stalagmite in the first place, right? I mean it opens all sorts of paradoxes, but Gavin being upset that Daddy James isn’t concerned about him dying in front of him seems silly in the context of unconditional time travel. BUT WHATEVER.
Outside of the cave (and still in the present-future), Lucas is staring down an all-white horse? that appeared out of nowhere?
When Veronica arrives, he tells her about how when he was young, he was sent to a cousin’s farm where he worked with horses for a while, but that the horses hated him, before musing that animals “know if people are good.” On cue, the albino horse turns and runs away, and Lucas is all, “SEE?” 🙁 🙁 🙁
Veronica then brings up a conversation they had in the previous episode, in which Lucas declared that he wanted to stay in 10,000 B.C. because he was a bad person with a criminal record in the present/future, and here he can start over. But Veronica is like, “Yeah, well, guess what, I’m pregnant, so we need to go back home, fool. I am not raising a baby — much less giving birth — without electricity and antibiotics.”
Lucas:
As they arrive at the time travel machine cave, Lucas regains his composure and tries to convince Veronica to stay in 10,000 B.C. — other people raise kids here! But Veronica is like, “Ew, no,” and so Lucas is all, “Whatevs, I’m staying, you can do what you want.”
Elsewhere, Scott is chatting with that Petra girl, asking her about the locket with the symbol on it which he can’t seem to open. She opens it for him, revealing a photo of herself with a woman. Scott recognizes the woman as the person he was scheduled to have the job interview with, and Petra reveals that she is her “mutter.” WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN, Scott wonders while Petra appears to have an allergic reaction to something in the candy bar he gave her to eat. Except it’s not an allergy attack, it’s an asthma attack, so they return to the corpse campsite to retrieve her inhaler which they did not take with them for some dumb reason.
Once they have the inhaler and Petra is breathing normally again, Scott tries to ask her some more questions with his rudimentary German, namely where she is from. She takes out a picture from her back pocket, a photo of a military barracks, and Scott wonders how they got there, all the way back in 10,000 B.C. … which is a big assumption, right? Unless there is a Poorly Rendered CGI Giant Sloth in the photo with them, why does he immediately believe it’s from the time they are currently in and not from whatever time she might have come from?
THE POINT IS, without thinking, Petra responds to his musing in English, saying “I don’t know.” Scott is all, WAIT YOU’VE BEEN ABLE TO SPEAK ENGLISH THIS ENTIRE TIME? He then assures her that she can trust him, he’s a good person, so please tell him who her mother is. In response, Petra tells him that if he can help her find her Mutter, she’ll tell him everything she knows.
OK, so back into the few-hours-ago past, Eve, Izzy, Levi, and Ty are all walking towards the corpse campsite, and Levi expresses his gratitude to Izzy for not shunning him or whatever. She tells him that she cares about him and that when they get back home, they can all start over. But he’s all ominous and shit, claiming that he crossed some “powerful people” back in their time. He refuses to elaborate because we have to save for season three.
The group passes by the portal that Izzy and Eve arrived through, and notice that it seems to be diminishing. Maybe they should go back now before it closes? But Eve refuses: she has to save Gavin by finishing what she started by coming all the way back to four hours ago.
So they get to the corpse campground, and upon finding the lockbox still locked, realize they’ve fortunately beaten Gavin there. Levi suggests he could stay there and wait for Gavin to tell him about the Poorly Rendered CGI Giant Komodo Dragon while Izzy and Eve go back through the shrinking portal, but Eve is like, “Not with that Poorly Rendered CGI Giant Komodo Dragon running around!”
Which is a dumb argument, right? I mean, at this point, Levi knows there is a Poorly Rendered CGI Giant Komodo Dragon nearby, so he will be able to protect himself — which is all they are doing for Gavin; just giving him the heads up that there is a Poorly Rendered CGI Giant Komodo Dragon in the area, and keep an eye out. So what’s the difference?
ANYWAY. They write the message to Gavin on the map “BEWARE OF POORLY RENDERED CGI KOMODO DRAGON IN CAVE” and they make their way back to the shrinking portal, having wasted more time arguing about the plan than just doing it.
And when they return to where the portal is supposed to be, OOPS, IT’S GONE. O NO. NOW WHAT WILL THEY DO EXCEPT WAIT A FEW HOURS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A FOUR-HOURS IN THE FUTURE MEETS A FOUR-HOURS IN THE PAST EVE AND IZZY? WILL THEY TURN INTO PLASMA BLORBS LIKE IN TIME COP?
Alas, we will never find out because back in the present-future, Gavin tells the others about the cooling problem with the machine, and that Jonah asshole, he actually becomes useful for the first time in 24 episodes, explaining that he noticed a spring outside. Dr. Sam tasks Jonah and Veronica to go investigate.
Meanwhile, Josh stays behind to cry while his father tells him that he loves him before dying.
O no.
While Gavin is busy dying, Dr. Sam runs into Lucas who is all, “wah, I’m going to be a shitty father, wah,” and Dr. Sam tells him to snap out of it and to go help Veronica.
Outside the cave, Jonah and Veronica find the spring which should be pouring into a giant metal pipe — a big detail that Jonah apparently didn’t notice originally — except a giant tree has collapsed on top of it, preventing the water from going down into the cooling pipes. Jonah and Veronica do their best to remove the tree, but alas, TOO WEAK.
And that’s when — and this might quite honestly be the worst bit of TV writing I’ve EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE — Lucas literally rides up on a white horse to save the day. HE LITERALLY RIDES UP ON THE WHITE HORSE FROM EARLIER AND SAVES THE DAY.
He lassos the tree, and pulls it off the feed from the spring, allowing the water in to cool the machine. The portal reopens in the near-past, Izzy and Eve go through it and arrive back in the cave to be greeted by a very much alive now Gavin.
The plan as it stands: they are going to give a tied-up Daddy James to Paara and her people and make him their problem — Ty is off to talk to his wife about that now; Eve and the kids are going to retrieve Scott from the corpse camp, and then they are all going to go home, yay!
Gavin finds Eve’s wedding ring? which she dropped in the time travel room? or something? because it’s just an excuse for him to put it back on her finger and talk about how all this time travel bullshit has brought them back together. Which I suppose is a great consolation to Ella and Luca’s Mom and all the other people who have been mauled to death by prehistoric beasts down there: at least Eve and Gavin’s shitty marriage has been saved. It was all worth it!
Outside of the cave, everyone is super stoked to hear that they are going to be going home. Lucas shares baby name ideas with Veronica: Lucas Jr. if it’s a boy; Ella if it’s a girl (which it will be, because obviously).
And Dr. Sam flirts with some red shirt who I am sure is going to be a Very Important Character and not just some obstacle created in response to this new divorce storyline that dropped out of LITERALLY NOWHERE.
Oh, and Levi has that logo from the locket and the mysterious company tattooed on his arm? Lol, sure, why not.
OK, so back in the cave — because it was never going to be as easy as “we found a spare time machine in a cave and now everyone can go home yay” — Daddy James (who should have been taken back to Paara’s village with Ty and under armed guard) gets the jump on Gavin, knocking him upside the head and taking back his gun. Daddy James then goes back to the machine and starts pushing buttons. Gavin is appalled: he’s still planning on going through with Project Blue Moon! But Daddy James is like, “Nah, I’m going to take over the world instead.” Daddy James then realizes that Gavin has Dr. Moore’s journal, and tries to grab it from him. Fight fight struggle fight, and in the ensuing chaos, the gun is fired wildly into the machine a few times, causing the lighting to flash red because ALARM! ALARM! ALARM!
Daddy James breaks free and is about to walk through the portal when Gavin shoots him. As he lies dying, Daddy James says to him, “Tell your sister I’m sorry, I failed.” Gavin is like, “A SISTER?!?! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME I HAD A SISTER?!?” And Daddy James responds, “When she comes for you, you’ll know why.”
And then Daddy James finally dies. Presumably. With this terrible show, you never know.
Outside of the cave, the damage to the time machine is having some noticeable effects: mostly that the sky is filling up with auroras. Eve, Izzy, and Josh run back inside to find the machine wildly malfunctioning, creating multiple time portals in all sorts of different years. The flashing around to multiple years is also going to make it a little tricky to get home: sure, the portal is still open, but who knows where they’ll land if they go through it?
They soon realize that the time travel room is maybe not the most stable place to be, so Gavin, Josh, and Izzy run back into the cave, but Eve goes back to grab Dr. Moore’s journal just as the door closes, trapping her inside. She does manage to break the conveniently included window so she can hand the journal to them, just as the portal sucks her away to who even knows when, 2023 Los Angeles, where Natalie Zea remained while everyone else filmed season three in Australia and the machine implodes.
Outside of the cave, Gavin, Josh, and Izzy are like, “WELL NOW WHAT?” which is when they find themselves standing in the shadow of a T-Rex, because of course they are going to bring dinosaurs into it. I’m just surprised it took them this long, honestly.
Before I give you the Lost rundown, please allow me to BITCH ABOUT THE TIME TRAVEL COMPONENT. I’ve said it once, I’ve said it an infinite number of times because time is a closed circle: you can not change the past.
Let’s take the example in this episode:
- The group goes to a cave where they are attacked by a Poorly Rendered CGI Giant Komodo Dragon.
- Gavin is injured as a result.
- Eve travels back in time four hours to warn the group that there is going to be a Poorly Rendered CGI Giant Komodo Dragon in the cave.
- Eve returns to the present to find Gavin uninjured.
The problem here is that Eve always has to be motivated to time travel to warn Gavin about the Poorly Rendered CGI Giant Komodo Dragon. BUT! if she changes the past so that they avoid being attacked by the Poorly Rendered CGI Giant Komodo Dragon, she has no reason to travel into the past, therefore, Gavin can never be warned, and can never be saved.
Now I suppose all of this could be answered with the concept of multiple universes: that when Eve travels into the past, she splits off a new universe in which she saves Gavin, while in the original universe, Gavin dies. But I, personally — and for storytelling purposes, not quantum physics purposes — don’t care for the concept of multiverses because it negates consequence. If we can just hop into a time machine and save someone from dying by creating a universe in which they live, then no death matters; nothing really matters. If it can all just be undone, then who cares?
BUT APPARENTLY THOSE ARE THE DUMB RULES WE ARE PLAYING WITH.
As for the Lost references, we’ve got at least three that I could identify:
1. Gavin discovering he has a secret sister: on Lost, in the episode “There’s No Place Like Home, Part 1,” HomeJack Shephard learns at his father’s funeral that Claire, whom he left behind on the island, is his half-sister.
2. Eve being separated from the group: on Lost, a group of survivors (“The Oceanic Six”) are rescued from the island, leaving the rest behind. Jack eventually realizes that they have to return to the island (“WE HAVE TO GO BACK!!!”) but being reunited isn’t as simple as just flying back to the island.
3. The military barracks:
I mean …
That’s it. That’s all I got. Only six more episodes of this nonsense to go.
La Brea returns on NBC on January 9. It also streams on Peacock. I hate it.