Ted Cruz has had a terrible 24 hours in New York City. GOOD.

It takes a village.

Here’s A BUNCH OF TV News

I was in New York City this past weekend, and managed to not go to a single Astros/Yankees game. I KNOW. YOU DON’T HAVE TO TELL ME. There was another Houstonian in NYC this weekend: Texas Embarassment Ted Cruz. Unlike myself, Rafael did attend the Astros game at Yankee Stadium, where he was received just as warmly as you would expect:

But Ted’s Big New York Adventure wasn’t over just yet. This morning, he made an appearance at The View, where he dodged a question on abortion to yammer about inflation (as if the inflation crisis isn’t a global one, and as if the Republicans have an answer as how to bring it down), only to be heckled by climate activists:

… Told to fuck off by some lady up front, causing the show to abruptly cut to commercial:

… And then had his ass handed to him by Ana Navarro, Whoopi Goldberg, and new Conservative lady Alyssa Farah Griffin:

Come back to New York soon, Ted!

SOOOOOO … I finally got around to watching The Watcher this weekend and … yeah. OK. Here’s the thing: it’s a Ryan Murphy production first and foremost. Though it thinks it is a true crime story, it’s really American Horror Story: The Watcher. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if you told me Murphy had originally planned for it to be a season of AHS. That’s to say, it begins strong, is pretty entertaining for a lot of it until entire storylines are forgotten and dropped, and then it ends on a wildly disappointing note. It’s based on a true story — but the true story is more of an idea than it is a plot, which gives Murphy and his team of lunatics a lot of room to fill with nonsense. I’m not saying you shouldn’t watch it, just that you should use American Horror Story as your barometer: if you love AHS, you’ll enjoy The Watcher; if you hate AHS, avoid at all costs, unless you’re doing a hate watch.

Warming Glow argues on behalf of The Watcher, mostly because: Jennifer Coolidge. And she’s terrific! But I don’t know that she’s enough to save the series.

Meanwhile, fans of the show are flocking to the real 657 Boulevard, and maybe … don’t? This is a real house with a real family living in it, who know the history of the property — that someone stalked the house — and they maybe don’t need hundreds of strangers now stalking their house?

Also, home security systems are reportedly flying off the shelves in the wake of The Watcher.

Ryan Murphy sat down with the women of The Watcher — all of whom are amazing actresses, by the way — if you just can’t get enough of this show. Say what you will about Murphy, he does love an older talented actress.

After much to-do, Netflix is adding a  logline to The Crown which reads: “Inspired by real events, this fictional dramatisation tells the story of Queen Elizabeth II and the political and personal events that shaped her reign.” This still isn’t enough for the royals, who according to one insider, feels like Netflix is “vilifying the royal family. It is vicious. It’s as if they’re trying to destroy the royal family.”

This upcoming season of The Crown will not show Princess Diana’s car crash, but her death will be addressed.

Laura Logan got herself fired by Newsmax — NEWSMAX! — for being too crazy for them after she went on a QAnon rant about open borders and consuming children’s blood.

This woman used to be a correspondent for 60 Minutes, y’all. Something broke her brain.

YOU GUYS DAMON LINDELOF IS WRITING A STAR WARS MOVIE.

My husband — a very middle-aged man — is a die-hard Swiftie, who downloaded Taylor Swift’s new album, Midnight, the night it dropped. I am NOT a Swiftie, so it irritates me to no end to learn that she made a reference to one of my favorite comedies on this most recent album. Harumph.

Netflix has released a fun little quiz, revealing your “horrorscope,” and making suggestions for shows and movies to watch to get your spook on.

This is what we call “bad lawyering.” OH WELL, TOO BAD, FOX NEWS.

Apple is raising its prices on Apple TV+, Apple Music, and Apple One. Apple TV+ will increase by $2 a month, or $20 a year. Ted Lasso is still worth it.

Renewals

Cancellations

  • As We See It has been canceled after one season on Prime Video.

In Development

Casting News

  • David Tennant returned as The Doctor on Doctor Who last night, but the 14th Doctor Ncuti Gatwas‘ first episode will air over the holiday season. 
  • Tara Reid will guest star on Ghosts on CBS.
  • Elijah Rashad Reed has been added to the cast of Doom Patrol on HBO Max.
  • Wayne Brady will host the American Music Awards on ABC and Hulu.

Mark Your Calendar

  • Succession returns on HBO this spring.
  • Doctor Who returns on BBC America in November.
  • Anne Rice’s Mayfair Witches will debut on AMC and AMC+ on January 8.
  • 1899 will debut on Netflix on November 17.
  • BARDO, False Chronicle of a Handful of Truths premieres on Netflix on December 16.
  • Pepsi, Where’s My Jet? debuts on Netflix on November 17.
  • Chris Redd: Why Am I Like This? will premiere on HBO Max on November 3.
  • Lil Rel Howery: I said it. Y’all thinking it. debuts on HBO Max on November 12.
  • Stars at Noon will premiere on Hulu on October 28.
  • Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell is available on Adult Swim’s YouTube channel.
  • Brahmāstra Part One: Shiva will premiere on Hulu on November 4.

  • Racionais MC’s: From the Streets of Sao Paulo premieres on Netflix on November 16.
  • Breathe Into The Shadows returns on Prime Video on November 9.
  • The Soccer Football Movie premieres on Netflix After School on November 9.
  • Deepa & Anoop returns on Netflix Jr. on November 7.

R.I.P.

Leslie Jordan, Actor, comedian, all-around delight. Will have more on this tomorrow.

Ron Masak, Character actor who appeared in Murder, She Wrote and countless other iconic series, 25 films and was known as the “King of Commercials,” for his voiceover work

Zuri Craig, America’s Got Talent finalist and Tyler Perry collaborator

Josephine Melville, British actress on EastEnders

Joanna Simon, Opera singer and sister to Carly Simon & Lucy Simon, Tony-nominated composer and sister to Carly Simon. Sadly, the sisters died one day apart.

Tyler Grasham, Former talent agent

Susan L. Schulman, Broadway publicist

WATCH THIS

MLB Baseball: The ALCS (if necessary) and the NLCS (if necessary). Let’s hope that the ALCS isn’t necessary. 3 p.m., TBS; 7 p.m., FS1

The Surreal Life: Celebrity Big Brother star Tamar Braxton, basketball legend Dennis Rodman, adult film star Stormy Daniels, musician August Alsina, beauty YouTuber Manny Mua, Living Single actress Kim Coles, professional wrestler C.J. Perry, and Malcolm in the Middle star Frankie Muniz star in the reboot of the reality show that later gave us Flavor of Love which in turn gave us I Love New York. Season premiere. 8 p.m., VH1

Mid-Century: A couple’s getaway in a mid-century rental turns deadly when the husband discovers the owner is a killer. Premiere. Peacock

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Taylor Swift, Meghan Trainor
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Danny DeVito, Tegan & Sara, Raghav Mehrotra
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Pete Buttigieg, Ina Garten
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Billie Lourd, Tyler James Williams, Andrea Jin
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Josh Gad, Pamela Adlon, Ariel Elias
  • The Daily Show: TBA
  • Watch What Happens Live: Victoria Beckham, Anne Hathaway

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Bachelor in Paradise
(new)
The Good Doctor
(new)
CBS The Neighborhood
(new)
Bob ♥ Abishola
(new)
NCIS
(new)
NCIS: Hawai’i
(new)
CW All American
(new)
All American: Homecoming
(new)
Local
FOX 9-1-1
(new)
The Cleaning Lady
(new)
News/Local
NBC The Voice
(new)
Quantum Leap
(new)

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