Just name this Houston ‘American Idol’ contestant the winner already.

Well hello there! After a week in the mountains unsuccessfully trying to break multiple bones, I am back with my usual nonsense.

Unfortunately, I did not see any bears on my recent trip — not even Hank the Tank, though the good people of South Lake Tahoe love them some Hank the Tank.

Interestingly, I did happen to meet a pig. His name was Pepper Murphy.

So imagine my delight at this recent clip of a bear who immediately regrets his decision to climb into a pig pen:

Pigs Fight Off A Bear from interestingasfuck

A bear and pigs! Hooray! Also, maybe don’t go into pig pens unless invited.

All Other TV News

So I haven’t watched American Idol regularly in … maybe a decade? But I checked out last night’s audition episode because my son’s classmate, Douglas Mills, Jr., was going to be featured. Apparently, each season, ABC affiliate stations are given one  pass that sends a contestant straight to the judges’ table (bypassing the audition in front of producers), and Douglas was the lucky recipient of KTRK’s “silver ticket.” And y’all, he was beyond deserving.

I’ve watched his performance of Billie Holiday’s “Strange Fruit” five or six times now, and it has yet to lose its power. I’m beyond proud and excited to watch Douglas’s journey. Please take the time to watch this HSPVA senior shine — it’ll give you goosebumps, if not bring you to tears.

Up against tonight’s American Idol will be the American version of Eurovision Song Contest, American Song Contest. Here’s how it’s going to work.

According to Karl Urban, who plays Butcher, The Boys will be filming season four at the end of the year — even though it hasn’t officially been renewed yet. (It will be.) See below for the season three trailer, and click here for questions said trailer raises.

Reportedly, the upcoming Obi-Wan Kenobi series was originally so dark it required a complete overhaul and rewrite. And reportedly, Darth Maul, who was set to appear in the series, was one of the casualties of the rewrite. Boo.

The Critics Choice Awards were last week and according to the critics, Succession and Ted Lasso are the best shows on TV right now. The critics ain’t wrong. The big news coming out of the Critics Choice Awards, however, was director Jane Campion’s bizarre choice to call out Serena and Venus Williams, claiming that they don’t have to compete with men the way she does. The fuck?

Campion has since apologized.

Over at the Directors Guild Awards, Succession also won — but it was a given since they were the only show nominated in their category. Ted Lasso lost to Hacks (which is an excellent series, don’t get me wrong), but that might be because the three Ted Lasso episodes nominated in the comedy category split the vote.

And at the Producers Guild Awards, the big winners were … SURPRISE! … Succession and Ted Lasso.

As for the Writers Guild Awards, the winners were Succession and Hacks. Sorry, Ted.

Despite West Side Story being nominated for seven Oscars, Rachel Zegler, who played Maria, wasn’t given a ticket to the ceremony, which seems … harsh.

On a recent panel, Steven Spielberg acknowledged that Squid Game “changes the math entirely for all of us” in casting, meaning that the success of a Korean series here in the States with no “bankable” domestic names opens up casting possibilities across the board.

As for the sequel to Squid Game, Hwang Dong-hyuk is teasing the possibility of using the old soap opera standby — twins — to bring certain actors back.

Kornbread won’t be in Drag Race Season 15 or All-Stars. BOOOOO. BOOOOO, RUPAUL.

A Grey’s Anatomy writer who claimed some of the storylines on the show that she wrote were based on her own medical crises is now being investigated for making it all up. Whoops.

Tom Bergeron is feeling salty:

HBO Max and Discovery are going to merge into one app, which I am thrilled about because I feel stupid for paying extra for the Discovery app just so I can watch my dumb ghost shows. It’s unclear when the new app will be launched, though the Discovery/WarnerMedia merger is hoped to be finalized next month. It’s also unclear how much the app will cost, considering the combined price of the two current apps would be anywhere between $14.98 – $21.98. Whatever the price, let’s hope that the new app isn’t as buggy as the current HBO Max app.

Hulu is going to start offering unlimited DVR capacity to its Live TV subscribers.

They caught the folks who robbed the Lupin set and one of the seven robbers was only 13 years old.

Norman Reedus will be back on The Walking Dead set tomorrow after suffering a concussion (maybe) while filming.

If all NCAA basketball games had this much drama and excitement, I might be inclined to watch:

I guess they made their point:

Heal quickly, Big E.

Renewals

Cancellations

  • Maury is ending after 31 seasons in syndication. Now who’s going to run all those paternity tests?
  • The Baby-Sitters Club has been canceled after two seasons on Netflix. Reportedly, it was a fairly popular series amongst its target audience, but it wasn’t being binged quickly enough (probably because its audience are kids who aren’t allowed to watch 10 episodes in a stretch?) and it wasn’t attracting new subscribers.
  • New Amsterdam will end its run on NBC after five seasons.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • The Boys returns on Amazon on June 3.
  • Girls5eva returns on Peacock on May 5.
  • The Kardashians will debut on Hulu on April 14.
  • Gaslit premieres on Starz on April 24.
  • Tokyo Vice will debut on HBO Max on April 7.
  • Undone returns on Amazon on April 29.
  • The Man Who Fell to Earth premieres on Showtime on April 24.
  • They Call Me Magic will premiere on Apple TV+ on April 22.
  • Sheryl will debut on Showtime on May 7.
  • Parallels premieres on Disney+ on March 23.
  • How to Survive a Pandemic will debut on HBO on March 29.
  • Elite returns on Netflix on April 8.
  • The Way Down, Part 2 is coming to HBO Max later this year.
  • Starstruck returns on HBO Max on March 24.
  • Building Roots premieres on HGTV on April 10.
  • The Man of God will debut on Netflix on April 16.
  • Wendell & Wild will debut on Netflix in October.
  • Tiger & Bunny 2 will debut on Netflix on April 8.
  • Tekken: Bloodline will debut on Netflix on 2022.
  • The Thaw will premiere on HBO Max on April 1.
  • Tomorrow will premiere on April 1.

  • The Umbrella Academy returns on Netflix on June 22.

R.I.P.

William Hurt, Legendary actor and four-time Oscar nominee.

Traci Braxton, Singer, co-star of Braxton Family Values

Tova Borgnine, QVC star and widow of Ernest Borgnine

Peter Bowles, British star of To the Manor Born

John Clayton, ESPN broadcaster

Av Westin, Emmy-award-winning newsman who created 20/20

Rustam Ibragimbekov, Russian screenwriter

WATCH THIS

American Song Contest: Based on Eurovision Song Contest, this competition hosted by Kelly Clarkson and Snoop, pits the states against one another. Here are your competitors, America — among them, Michael Bolton, Jewel, and Sisqo. Series premiere.  7 p.m., NBC

9-1-1: They steal the plot of Speed in the spring premiere. 7 p.m., Fox

The Gilded Age: Marian prepares for a new adventure in the season finale. 8 p.m., HBO

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Leslie Mann, Mikey Day, Kae Tempest
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Lizzo, Gabrielle Union, Pillow Queens
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Wanda Sykes, Michael Cera, Weezer
  • Watch What Happens Live: Paige DeSorbo, Craig Conover

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC American Idol
(new)
The Good Doctor
(new)
CBS The Neighborhood
(new)
Bob ♥ Abishola
(new)
NCIS
(new)
NCIS: Hawai’i
(new)
CW All American
(new)
All American: Homecoming
(new)
Local
FOX 9-1-1
(new)
9-1-1: Lone Star
(new)
News/Local
NBC American Song Contest
(new)
The Endgame
(new)

3 thoughts on “Just name this Houston ‘American Idol’ contestant the winner already.

  1. If I remember right wasn’t The Pentaverate part of the Scottish fathers ramblings in So I Married an Axe Murderer? HEAD!!! PANTS!!!!!

    1. It was rumored that they had, but it wasn’t made official. It sounds like it’s happening, though.

      -T

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