I just want to live in boring times again, please.

Before we begin, please enjoy this adorable mom.

Look. I know that I’m here to talk about TV, but it’s KINDA HARD WITH SO MUCH BULLSHIT HAPPENING IN REAL LIFE.

First off: Russia. Russia has invaded Ukraine and the country is under full-scale attack. There are some reports that the Russians are trying to take hold of Chernobyl, for fuck’s sake.

It’s all so horrible and scary and I don’t really have anything insightful to add to this conversation other than fuck Vladimir Putin and especially fuck any American who supports this authoritarian monster. Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingraham, Sean Hannity, and all the Putin apologists at Fox News and Former President Kompromat, I’m looking directly at you.

And let me also give the middle finger to the entire GOP who decided that it was totally cool when their guy was in office for him to blackmail the Ukrainian President, threatening to withhold military aid from Ukraine — military aid that they need to defend themselves from JUST THIS VERY SITUATION — until they manufactured dirt on his political rival. Fuck all y’all, you cynical cowards. And I don’t want to hear a single Goddamned word from any of you about how you’re “supporting the Ukrainian people.” If you really supported them, you would have voted to impeach and remove Former President Vlad’s Bestie WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE. TWICE.

I mean, never mind the fact that Former President Lapdog had it written into the GOP’s 2016 platform that they would stop giving military aid to Ukraine after he hired a Putin stooge to run his campaign. And never mind the fact that in private meetings, he promised he would pull out of NATO during his second term.

“BuT wHy DiDn’T pUtIn InVaDe WhEn TrUmP wAs In OfFiCe???” Because Putin was counting on his stooge to have a second term, pull out of NATO and give him everything he wanted without a fight.

But never mind all of that, it is definitely President Biden who is the one who is soft on Putin. OK. OK. OK, SURE.

Oh, and also, NOT NOW, JOHN CENA.

But lest you think that authoritarian bullshit is only afoot overseas, right here in my very state, we are literally putting trans kids, their parents, their doctors, and their teachers under direct attack. Our ignominious Attorney General (who is under felony indictment and an FBI investigation) Ken Paxton put out an opinion stating that medically supporting trans kids is akin to child abuse. Working from that premise, Governor Greg Abbott has ordered agencies to investigate parents who seek out gender-affirming treatments for their children and threatened to criminally punish doctors, nurses, and teachers for not reporting families for doing so.

Below is an excellent thread from a family lawyer that explains in clear language what gender-affirming medical treatments are. HINT: It’s not gender confirmation surgery or sterilization or removal of body parts, contrary to what these troglodytes want to put out there to scare people.

It’s a complicated situation and I know most people are repulsed at the idea of young children making life-changing decisions that they might ultimately regret. But parents of trans kids aren’t monstrous abusers — they are just trying to keep their kids healthy, happy, and alive. Seriously, please read this thread in its entirety: it’s important to understand the truth:

But also, ALSO, can I just point out the fucking hypocrisy of the conservatives on this matter? This is supposedly the party that is on the forefront of supporting “parents’ rights” to protect their kids from an overreaching government. Apparently, that support begins and ends in our school’s curriculums and libraries — it does not extend to parents being able to make decisions about their children’s medical care.

And also, riddle me this: how is it that the government is not allowed to mandate that we get vaccinated or wear masks to protect the community as a whole because “MAH BODILY AUTONOMY!!!” but that same government can literally tell a trans kid what their body is or is not?


Alright. Enough screaming. Before I get to the TV stuff, I will just say that I am very tired of living in history.

All Other TV News

Abbott Elementary is pulling Modern Family numbers! Yay for them!

The real story behind the end of Adam McKay and Will Ferrell’s friendship is detailed in this long Hollywood Reporter piece about the upcoming Winning Time HBO series. TL;DR: Will Ferrell wanted to play the owner of the Lakers, Jerry Buss, in the series. But McKay chose Michael Shannon instead, hoping to highlight Shannon’s funnier side. Ferrell was disappointed but understood. But then, a week before they were set to shoot the pilot, Shannon just wasn’t able to get his hands around the role because of the way it kept breaking the fourth wall. Suddenly needing to recast, McKay reached out to John C. Reilly, who accepted the job immediately. However, McKay himself did not tell Ferrell — it was Reilly who told Ferrell that he landed the role, and, understandably, Ferrell was very hurt. And now you know.

Last week, Paramount announced that Star Trek 4 was set to start filming by the end of the year, with the original cast attached. However, according to the representatives of Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Simon Pegg, Karl Urban, Zoe Saldaña, and John Cho, this is news to them. LOL.

The Netflix Marvel movies will be streaming on Disney+ … in Canada.

Apparently, the MLB and Players Association are in a contentious labor negotiation and regular-season games might start getting canceled if they don’t come to an agreement by Monday.

If you’re a fan of Better Things, this interview with Pamela Adlon which covers everything from menopause to Redd Foxx is wild.

Lauren Graham retweeted out a Gilmore Girls gif and people lost their shit. It was literally nothing, but she had to apologize for getting people’s hopes up, nevertheless.

How about that Righteous Gemstones surprise cameo from this week’s episode?

According to them, Cypress Hill has been banned from Saturday Night Live for thirty years now, after one of its members lit up a blunt during a live performance. SNL claims that there are no bans on any act.

The Crown was robbed, literally.

Warner Bros. Television has established a $100,000 scholarship fund related to All American: Homecoming, and benefitting students of HBCUs.

Discovery has 22 million subscribers, and though most of those are through Discovery+, they’re not saying how many exactly.

Kyle Rittenhouse is going to sue Whoopi Goldberg, LeBron James, and President Biden for “defaming” him. Yeah, good luck with all that.

Hey, Gen X: Anthony Edwards and Mare Winningham have been secretly married for a while now.

Congratulations, Jennifer Lawrence!


  • Love Island has been renewed for two more seasons but is moving from CBS to Peacock.


  • Adults Adopting Adults has been not just canceled after three episodes on A&E, but the network is doing everything in its power to scrub any evidence of the show from the internet. HUH, WHY, I WONDER?

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Ozark returns on Netflix on April 29.
  • Under the Banner of Heaven will premiere on Hulu sometime this year.
  • Pachinko will premiere on Apple TV+ on April 29.
  • Mr. Mayor returns on NBC on March 15.
  • Name That Tune returns on Fox on March 29.
  • The Andy Warhol Diaries will debut on Netflix on March 9.
  • The Fairly OddParents: Fairly Odder will premiere on Paramount+ on March 31.
  • Worst Roommate Ever debuts on Netflix on March 1.
  • Hellbender premieres on Shudder today.
  • Put a Ring on It returns on OWN on March 25.
  • Harry Wild debuts on Acorn TV on April 4.
  • Once Upon a Time… Happily Never After will premiere on Netflix on March 11.
  • The Pirates: The Last Royal Treasure will debut on Netflix on March 2.
  • Love Like the Falling Petals premieres on Netflix on March 24.


Donny Davis, Comedian and impersonator


Law & Order: Jack is BACK! NBC has finally returned to the original formula. Series premiere. 7 p.m., ABC

Station 19: A new chief starts at the station in the winter premiere. 7 p.m., ABC

Grey’s Anatomy: The team works to save the victims of a car crash that involved some of their own. Winter premiere. 8 p.m., ABC

Big Sky: Jenny and Cassie search for answers in the aftermath of a shocking death. Winter premiere. 9 p.m., ABC

Legacies: Winter premiere. 8 p.m., The CW

No Exit: A young kidnapped woman is discovered at a rest stop in a blizzard, and another woman investigates the other strangers trapped with them in an attempt to discover the kidnapper in this new film. Hulu

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Gordon Ramsay, Dominic Fike, Kodak Black
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Maude Apatow, Stevie Nistor
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Norah O’Donnell, Tom Lennon
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Nathan Chen, Will Arnett, Machine Gun Kelly featuring Willow Smith
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Lionel Richie, Katy Perry, Luke Bryan, Pamela Adlon, Banks
  • Watch What Happens Live: Julia Lemigova, Martina Navratilova
THUR 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Station 19
Grey’s Anatomy
Big Sky
CBS Young Sheldon
United States of Al
B Positive
CW Walker
FOX Joe Millionaire: For Richer or Poorer
Call Me Kat
NBC Law & Order
Law & Order: SVU
Law & Order: Organized Crime

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