My wish for you is that you have someone in your life who will throw a bobcat for you.

It’s a Friday which means tomorrow is a Saturday, and the day after that is a Sunday!

Life comes at you fast (sound on for this one, trust me):

All Other TV News

Amazon is spending — sit down for this one — $465 MILLION on season one of the Lord of the Rings series. $465 MILLION FOR ONE SEASON OF TELEVISION.

John Corbett is returning to the Sex and the City reboot to play Aidan, the man who was entirely too good for Carrie and should not be subjected to her bullshit all over again. Sarah Jessica Parker left a cryptic Instagram comment about his return, suggesting that it’s not a done deal, but come on.

HBO out here getting people worked up over nothing:

IT CAME AND WENT, Y’ALL.

Meanwhile, there’s no real movement on the Winds of Winter front, and this Ringer piece does a good job of dissecting the whole thing.

Things got real on The Rookie got real yesterday when actual shots were fired on set. No one was hurt, but filming was disrupted for obvious reasons.

Justin Theroux could have been Jack Shephard.

Alison Brie has bad news for the GLOW fans among us.

Going Viral

Yesterday, we had nearly 75,000 new cases of COVID in the United States and nearly a thousand deaths.

In a Congressional hearing with Dr. Fauci, that idiot Jim Jordan thought he was going to score some points, demanding to know when Americans will get their “FREEDOMS!” back (freedoms = not having to wear a mask in places that ask them to wear a mask) and Dr. Fauci is like, “I mean, there’s a pandemic that killed 560,000 Americans still out there going crazy, but if you want a number, let’s say when cases drop below 10,000 a day?” This wasn’t good enough for Jim Jordan who kept demanding “A NUMBER!” until Maxine Waters told him to shut the fuck up:

Christ, what an asshole.

Pfizer says an annual booster shot might be necessary. Sounds like we might have to think about COVID the way we do the flu.

In good news, 125.8 million people have received at least one shot, which is 47.1% of the eligible population. Here in Texas, 33% of us have received at least one shot, which I need to stress again for our idiot governor, is not anywhere near herd immunity. But hey, we’re getting there.

And here’s why we need to get everyone vaccinated: In Brazil, COVID is spreading faster and killing younger and younger people, including infants. If this variant has an opportunity to spread and further mutate to become resistant to the vaccines we currently have, we will be in huge trouble.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • 144 will air on ESPN on May 13.
  • Siesta Key will return on MTV on May 12.
  • Crank Yankers will return on Comedy Central on May 5.
  • Pink Skies Ahead will premiere on MTV on May 8.

R.I.P.

Timothy Patrick Quill, Actor in Army of Darkness

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

Big Shot: John Stamos stars as a hotheaded NCAA basketball coach who is ousted from his job and forced to coach a girls’ high school team in what I am almost CERTAIN is the Matt LeBlanc sitcom from the underappreciated Showtime series, Episodes. Premiere. Disney+

Van Helsing: Jack hunts for the “Dark One” in the 5th season premiere. 9 p.m., Syfy

Why Are You Like This?: Three best friends navigate 20-something life in Melbourne in this raunchy comedy. Premiere. Netflix

SATURDAY

The Godfather, Parts I & II and The Godfather, Coda: The Death of Michael Corleone: It’s another Godfather marathon, but this time, Godfather, Part III is replaced by its re-edited sibling, “The Godfather Coda: The Death of Michael Corleone.” 6 p.m., Showtime

Ghost Brothers: Lights Out: You know how I feel about a dumb ghost show — this series which follows the only Black paranormal investigators with their own show is one of my favorites, and one of the only reasons I’ve been tempted to subscribe to Discovery+. Premiere. Discovery+

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood: When we saw this in the theater, an entire row in front of us got up and left during the incredibly violent conclusion and what I’m saying is, Quentin Tarantino is not for everyone. Proceed accordingly.  8:55 p.m., Starz

SUNDAY

Mare of Easttown: Kate Winslet is Mare Sheehan, a detective in a small town who investigates a murder while her own personal life crumbles. Premiere. 9 p.m., HBO

Roll Up Your Sleeves: This special featuring Former First Lady Michelle Obama, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Dr. Fauci, Matthew McConaughey, and others aims to educate and encourage people to go get the COVID vaccine.  6 p.m., NBC

The 56th Academy of Country Music Awards: Keith Urban and Mickey Guyton host. 7 p.m., CBS

Couples Therapy: Dr. Orna Guralnik is back, trying to help couples deal with their shit. Season premiere. 9 p.m., Showtime

Godfather of Harlem: Bumpy aims to reunite his family in Harlem after three months in hiding from the Italians in the season premiere. 8 p.m., Epix

Confronting a Serial Killer: A look at the prolific serial killer Sam Little and the systemic injustices that allowed him to kill for so long. Premiere. 8 p.m., Starz

 

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Russell Wilson, Ciara, Eiza González, Jon Pardi
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): Amanda Seyfried, Ashley McBryde

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Shark Tank
(new)
20/20
CBS MacGyver
(new)
Magnum P.I.
(new)
Blue Bloods
(new)
CW Whose Line Is It Anyway?
(repeat)
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
(repeat)
Penn & Teller: Fool Us
(new)
Local
FOX Friday Night Smackdown Local
NBC The Blacklist
(new)
Dateline


SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC NBA Basketball
(live)
News/Local
CBS NCIS: Los Angeles
(repeat)
NCIS: New Orleans
(repeat)
48 Hours News/Local
FOX FOX PBC Fight Night
(repeat)
News/Local
NBC Law and Order: SVU
(repeat)
Law and Order: Organized Crime
(repeat)
Saturday Night Live
(repeat)
News/
Local
Saturday Night Live
(repeat)


SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Home Economics
(repeat)
Home Economics
(repeat)
American Idol
(repeat)
The Rookie
(new)
CBS 60 Minutes 56th Academy of Country Music Awards
(live)
The CW Local Batwoman
(new)
Charmed
(new)
Local
FOX The Simp-sons
(repeat)
Bless the Harts
(new)
The Simp-sons
(new)
The Great North
(new)
Bob’s Burgers
(new)
Family Guy
(new)
Local/News
NBC Roll Up Your Sleeves
(new)
Ellen’s Game of Games
(repeat)
Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist
(new)
Good Girls
(new)

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