This is a very dumb cat:
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In today’s Mad Libs headline: Twice Impeached Former President, Riot Instigator and The Apprentice Host Submits His Resignation from SAG-AFTRA to Union President Gabrielle Carteris Whose Most Famous Role was Andrea on Beverly Hills 90210.
The actors union was planning on a hearing to discuss expelling Former President Hacky for his role in inciting the January 6th siege of the Capitol of the United States and “sustaining a reckless campaign of misinformation aimed at discrediting and ultimately threatening the safety of journalists, many of whom are SAG-AFTRA members.” But before they could get around get to it, he decided to resign. See? Was that so hard, Dingus?
His letter of resignation sounds like it was written by a sixth-grader and is a masterpiece of petulant “YOU CAN’T BREAK UP WITH ME, I BREAK UP WITH YOU!” energy.
I write to you today regarding the so-called Disciplinary Committee hearing aimed at revoking my union membership. Who cares!
While I’m not familiar with your work, I’m very proud of my work on movies such as Home Alone 2, Zoolander and Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps; and television shows including The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Saturday Night Live, and of course, one of the most successful shows in television history, The Apprentice–to name just a few!
I’ve also greatly helped the cable news television business (said to be a dying platform with not much time left until I got involved in politics), and created thousands of jobs at networks such as MSDNC and Fake News CNN, among many others.
Which brings me to your blatant attempt at free media attention to distract from your dismal record as a union. Your organization has done little for its members, and nothing for me–besides collecting dues and promoting dangerous un-American policies and ideas –as evident by your massive unemployment rates and lawsuits from celebrated actors, who even recorded a video asking, “Why isn’t the union fighting for me?”
These, however, are policy failures. Your disciplinary failures are even more egregious.
I no longer wish to be associated with your union.
As such, this letter is to inform you of my immediate resignation from SAG-AFTRA. You have done nothing for me.
Donald Jingleberry* Trump
And I am not even joking, you guys, if I received this letter: 1. I would never stop laughing, 2. I would frame it and hang it up in my living room and 3. I would show it to anyone who ever came to my house. I hope Ms. Carteris appreciates the treasure she was given by this asshole.
Oh, and SAG-AFTRA’s entire response to this temper tantrum? “Thank you.” That’s it.
*I might have taken some editorial license with his name.
It’s officially awards season:
The Screen Actors Guild announced their nominations. Let’s just say they love them some The Crown.
More interesting to me are the Writers Guild Awards. And thank goodness someone recognizes What We Do in the Shadows for the genius it is. One of the best comedies on TV was routinely being ignored, and I was beginning to wonder if it even existed, or if I had just made it up whole cloth.
Jeff Zucker, in the least surprising news ever, is thinking about leaving CNN. He played a long game of chicken with his old partner-in-bad-TV-crime, Donald Juniper Trump, and in the end, he won.
This Seinfeld-as-Twin-Peaks video is nightmarish and I do not recommend that you watch it.
Black Lives Matter
Less than a month ago, Vulture ran an article with the headline: “Sorry, But Get Used to Morgan Wallen.” I would love to be inside that copy editor’s brain in the wake of this week’s N-word scandal. On Tuesday, TMZ published a video of country star Wallen shouting expletives, including the N-word, and the reaction from country music has been SWIFT. His label dropped him; Cumulus Media sent a memo to their stations to remove Wallen’s music from their playlists; CMT removed him from all of their platforms; iHeartRadio pulled him; and the Academy of Country Music announced he would not be eligible for award consideration this year or participate in the ceremony. See, GOP? That’s how you handle one of your own when they’ve done something unacceptable.
Deborah Copaken, a writer on Emily in Paris — which was nominated for a Golden Globe — is outraged that I May Destroy You was snubbed and she wrote a whole piece about it for The Guardian:
I could definitely see how a show about a white American selling luxury whiteness, in a pre-pandemic Paris scrubbed free of its vibrant African and Muslim communities, might rankle. Our show also aired soon after I read Caste by Isabel Wilkerson and gobbled down Michaela Coel’s I May Destroy You, a work of sheer genius about the aftermath of a rape. “That show,” I told everyone who would listen, “deserves to win all the awards.”
When it didn’t, I was stunned. I May Destroy You was not only my favorite show of 2020. It’s my favorite show ever. It takes the complicated issue of a rape – I’m a sexual assault survivor myself – and infuses it with heart, humor, pathos and a story constructed so well, I had to watch it twice, just to understand how Coel did it.
Now, am I excited that Emily in Paris was nominated? Yes. Of course. I’ve never been remotely close to seeing a Golden Globe statue up close, let alone being nominated for one. But that excitement is now unfortunately tempered by my rage over Coel’s snub. That I May Destroy You did not get one Golden Globe nod is not only wrong, it’s what is wrong with everything.
A confederate leader’s statute from the state of Georgia is probably going to be replaced in the U.S. Capitol with a statue of civil rights leader and influential Congressman John Lewis. But the decision isn’t confirmed yet: some Republicans in the Georgia state legislature are suggesting that the statue be replaced with Hank Aaron instead, calling a politician not “unifying” enough. Christ, what assholes.
A prominent New York Times reporter, Donald McNeil, Jr., was disciplined for using racist language, including the N-word, while leading a Times-branded trip for students in 2019. He also apparently said that white supremacy didn’t exist and made disparaging comments about Black teenagers. Cool.
We’ve surpassed 450,000 American deaths, and it might be well over 460,000. But good news: cases and hospitalizations continue falling, and we are now starting to see deaths decline in number.
I’ve been saying this for a few weeks now, but the experts are also chiming in: We are getting those numbers down — DO NOT GO TO A SUPER BOWL PARTY, DAMMIT.
President Biden might send those masks to every American household that had been planned by the post office but then killed by the Trump administration. Seriously, what fucking monsters they were.
When you finally get the vaccine, here’s some interesting advice about taking OTC painkillers that you should pay attention to.
This is a fascinating auditory representation of virus data — and what 425,000 deaths sound like.
What does 425,000 Covid deaths sound like? I was inspired by this article by @LazaroGamio and @LaurenLeatherby for the NY Times, where they visualized how long to reach another 25k deaths. The piece had a rhythm that made me think of music, so I tried turning the data into sound pic.twitter.com/2YhmgqDZGQ
— carni_dc (@CarniDC) February 1, 2021
The Iowa House Speaker has definitely has his priorities straight and is not focusing on the stupid at all.
The New York Times has a pretty good piece on how TV has been handling the pandemic — or not — in their scripted shows. Basically: medical dramas and shows with characters who are essential workers had no choice but to address it, but other shows, like Last Man Standing whose audience skews conservative, were able to skirt it altogether.
Each and Every Day will premiere on MTV on February 16.
“As the U.S. approaches the one-year mark of COVID-19, the impact on the mental health of young people – remote learning creating physical isolation, missed activities and milestones, a racial reckoning and a softening economy and job loss, among them – MTV Documentary Films’ Each and Every Day from the Peabody(R) Award-winning filmmaker Alexandra Shiva and producer Lindsey Megrue, speaks with young people who have attempted suicide or had suicidal ideations as they share their experiences and the ways they have sought help.”
- The CW just renewed pretty much everything: Walker, All American, Batwoman, Charmed, DC’s Legends of Tomorrow, Dynasty, The Flash, In the Dark, Legacies, Nancy Drew, Riverdale, and Roswell, New Mexico. Also, they’ve ordered more episodes of season one of Walker and Superman & Lois.
- The J Team, a live-action musical starring and produced by JoJo Siwa, is coming to Nickelodeon. Prepare for
- Tough Love with Hilary Farr has been ordered at HGTV.
- A Boob’s Life is being turned into an HBO Max series by Salma Hayek’s production company.
- Daniel Spellbound has been ordered at Netflix.
- Aloha Rodeo is being adapted into a movie for Disney+.
- Unsolved Histories with Lucy Worsley is being developed by BBC and PBS.
- Sebastian Roché is joining Debris on NBC.
- Sarayu Blue will co-star in The Shrink Next Door on Apple TV+.
- Daniella Garcia is joining the cast of Rebel on ABC.
- Candace Grace, Josiah Cross, Peter Mark Kendall, and Molly Price have been added to the cast of Acts of Crime on ABC.
- Ben Domenech, Meghan McCain’s husband and the publisher of The Federalist, is joining Fox News as a contributor. H’oh boy.
Mark Your Calendars
March 7: Good Girls
April 1: Manifest and Law & Order: Organized Crime
- Behind Her Eyes premieres on Netflix on February 16.
- Delilah will debut on OWN in March.
- No Joke: Chris Rock and Gayle King premieres on BET and BET HER tonight.
- For My Man will return on TV One on February 11.
- Pele launches on Netflix on February 23.
- Dealer will debut on Netflix on March 10.
- Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella will premiere on Disney+ on February 12.
- Mr. Mercedes moves to Peacock for the third season on February 4.
- OWN Spotlight: Cicely Tyson will air on OWN on February 6.
- The Black Church: This Is Our Story, This Is Our Song will air on PBS on February 16 & 17.
- Design Star: Next Gen premieres on Discovery+ on February 24.
Rennie Davis, One of the Chicago 7
Danny Ray, James Brown’s “cape man”
Divinity, Prince’s white dove
Bliss: Owen Wilson and Salma Hayek star in this sci-fi love story about a down-on-his-luck man who meets a strange woman who is convinced the world is actually a computer simulation. Amazon
The Head: A small team of researchers in the Antarctic are found dead or are missing after a six-month stint, in this new survivalist thriller series. HBO Max
The Snoopy Show: A new animated series featuring the beloved Peanuts gang. Apple TV+
A Nightmare Wakes: This film explores Mary Shelley, her genius and the creation of her monster: Frankenstein. Apple TV+
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Camila Mendes, Olivia Rodrigo
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Michelle Pfeiffer, the Impractical Jokers, Matt Cameron
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Tiffany Haddish, H.E.R.
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Michael Kiwanuka
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Jamie Dornan, Robin Roberts, Pentatonix
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Conan: Bryan Cranston
- Watch What Happens Live: Hannah Berner, Austen Kroll
- A Little Late with Lily Singh: Alok Vaid-Menon
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