It’s Monday! Christmas is in four days! And Joe Biden will be President of the United States in 30 days!
And here’s a cow catching snowflakes on her tongue:
As I noted, we are 30 days from Inauguration Day, but that’s not stopping President Meltdown from toying with some dangerous ideas, including appointing Sidney “The Kraken” Powell as special counsel in an investigation into the election, taking control of voting machines, and possibly declaring martial law. Fun! According to the New York Times article, on Friday, President Never Say Electoral College Has Already Voted met with Sidney Powell, Mike Flynn, and Rudy Giuliani on Friday and they threw out crazy-ass ideas to overturn the election while his White House advisors, including Mark Meadows and counsel Pat Cipollone, called them all lunatics.
A senior administration official said that when Trump is “retweeting threats of putting politicians in jail, and spends his time talking to conspiracy nuts who openly say declaring martial law is no big deal, it’s impossible not to start getting anxious about how this ends.”
“People who are concerned and nervous aren’t the weak-kneed bureaucrats that we loathe,” the official added. “These are people who have endured arguably more insanity and mayhem than any administration officials in history.”
Ah, yes, welcome aboard, boys. It was only a matter of time before you realized those “weak-kneed bureaucrats” who have been setting their hair on fire for the past four years WERE NOT OVER-REACTING.
But for the rest of us, it’s important to note that the fact that the same senior administration officials who enabled President Diseased Brain for all these years are now alarmed by his behavior suggests he must REALLY be going off the deep end. Politico ran a piece today asking if he’s having a mental breakdown — because that’s where we are now, asking out loud if the President of the United States is having a psychological breakdown in office — and the answer seems to be: probably? And remember, he’s still around for 30 more days. Who knows how much more he will unravel in that time — and what he might do.
Two bits of news that should give you a little bit of comfort:
- It turns out the voting systems that the nuts are accusing of all sorts of chicanery have lawyers and they are not afraid to use them. In the past few days, some media figures, including Lou Dobbs, Maria Bartiromo, and Newsmax have been forced to walk back some of the outrageous lies they’ve been feeding their viewers about the election, and it’s hilarious:
this is like one of those snl fox & friends correction sketches, it just keeps going https://t.co/8lrAPbuBFl
— John Whitehouse (@existentialfish) December 21, 2020
2. Bill Barr, now that he’s on his way out the door, has told President Dementia that there will be no special counsel investigating the election, or Hunter Biden, or Rosie O’Donnell or any of his other weird fantasy targets. The asterisk on this story is that Barr is leaving after next week so who knows what the Acting Attorney General will do between then and January 20.
Personally, I swing wildly between thinking that the whole thing is incompetent and hilarious and will go nowhere and utterly terrified that something completely insane — in a bad way — could still happen between now and January 20 and that none of us are in a position to let down our guard.
And that’s why I drink. Cheers!
Good News: The Moderna vaccine has been approved by the FDA, doubling the amount of vaccine that we have access to. Additionally, because the Moderna vaccine does not require the same extreme cold temperatures to remain stable, it can be distributed to more rural areas that might be able to have access to the Pfizer vaccine.
Bad News: According to Worldometer, we could potentially hit 325,000 American deaths as early as today. (According to John Hopkins, the number right now is around 317,000.) And my home state is second only to New York for the number of deaths from this virus. Cool!
But hey: Joe Biden is expected to be vaccinated today. And I’m not going to scream about the fact that Marco Rubio and Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell, some of the assholes who downplayed this virus, already got their vaccines — ahead of the President and Vice President-elect and ahead of many health care workers on the front lines — because it’s important that everyone gets vaccinated as soon as possible and if Rubio and Graham and McConnell getting vaccinated convinces people who trust them to get vaccinated themselves when it’s their turn, then, in the end, it’s a good thing for all of us.
Tucker Carlson is claiming that vaccine distribution is "eugenics" against white people pic.twitter.com/z7kEI34j56
— nikki mccann ramírez (@NikkiMcR) December 19, 2020
And Dr. Fauci wants kids to know that he personally gave Santa the vaccine so it’s safe for the big guy to come to our homes later this week.
But stay safe out there: This guy died on a flight from Orlando to Los Angeles, a flight he should not have been on since he had COVID. REMINDER: DO NOT GET ON A PLANE IF YOU HAVE COVID SYMPTOMS. I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO TYPE THOSE WORDS TOGETHER IN THAT ORDER BUT APPARENTLY SOME PEOPLE ARE VERY DUMB.
Oh brother: Eric Clapton and Va Morrison have put out an anti-lockdown anthem to raise money for musicians. Look: the cause is noble, the execution is INFURIATING.
Leah Remini is pretty sure Tom Cruise’s COVID-meltdown was all a publicity stunt. (She’s probably not wrong.)
The long-awaited Academy Museum of Motion Pictures has pushed back its official opening from April to September. THIS IS GOING TO BE TENET ALL OVER AGAIN, ISN’T IT?
Al Michaels was pulled from Sunday Night Football “in accordance with NBCUniversal COVID-19 safety protocols.” But they did not say that he tested positive, so we can just assume.
Impeachment: American Crime Story had to pause production after a positive COVID test.
The Gray Man has also paused production, mostly out of concern as cases grow in California.
All Other TV News
— ElitePraetorian (@PraetorianNZ) December 18, 2020
ok ok but wait someone please confirm if the book of boba fett is a separate series or the man focus of season 3 because i did not get attached to din and his little green son for no reason ✨#TheMandalorian
— celine (celinnnaa) (@dimpledtrash) December 18, 2020
So the Book of Boba Fett and Mando season 3 are separate right? Cause what the fuck, lmao.
— Priscilla (@lamantram0ri) December 18, 2020
Star Wars series timeline: Yes, there will be a third season of The Mandalorian, calm down. The Book of Boba Fett will be made first, and then production on season three of The Mandalorian will begin. Both will debut on Disney+ next December. Plan accordingly.
Speaking of the Breaking Bad universe, yes, the President on The Stand is that actor. The Stand is also facing backlash from the deaf community for casting a hearing actor in a deaf role.
When The Flight Attendant returns — and I just binged this one this weekend, and do recommend — Michiel Huisman’s character will have some sort of role.
Anderson told The Sunday Times recently, “My partner and I don’t live together. If we did, that would be the end of us. It works so well as it is, it feels so special when we do come together.”
That was in January, pre-pandemic, pre-lockdown, which makes it wild when she continued with, “There is nothing locking us in, nothing that brings up that fear of, ‘Oh gosh, I can’t leave because what will happen to the house, how will we separate?”
- The Wilds has been renewed for a second season on Amazon.
- The D’Amelio Show, a reality series following TikTok star Charli D’Amelio and her family, has been set at Hulu.
- An All American spinoff series is in the works at The CW.
- Look At Me, a multi-generational drama about a deaf family inspired by model Nyle DiMarco, is being developed at NBC.
- Say Their Names, a limited series about the Grim Sleeper serial killer, is being developed at HBO.
- Daylight, a thriller, has been ordered at Fox.
- First Lady, a drama, and Dadholes, a comedy are in development at CBS.
- Fruit Man, a comedy, is being developed at Hulu.
- Guerillas, a comedy starring Al Madrigal and Jaime Camil is being developed at ABC.
- The Final Friend, a comedy, is being developed at TBS.
- Cutblock, a thriller is being developed at HBO.
- Jessica Lucas is joining The Resident on Fox.
- Eric Ladin has joined Ozark on Netflix.
- Lamon Archey and GG Townson are joining All American on The CW.
- Gabrielle Ryan is joining Debris on NBC.
- Zibby Allen and Stacey Farber are joining Virgin River on Netflix.
- Utkarsh Ambudkar and P.J. Byrne are joining Never Have I Ever on Netflix.
Mark Your Calendar
- Death to 2020 will premiere on Netflix on Sunday.
- The Equalizer will premiere on CBS on February 7.
- Coming to America 2 will debut on Amazon in March.
— Amazon Studios (@AmazonStudios) December 17, 2020
— Amazon Studios (@AmazonStudios) December 18, 2020
- Final Space will return on Adult Swim sometime in 2021.
- White Tiger will debut on Netflix on January 22.
- The Great North will premiere on Fox on February 14.
- For Life will return on ABC on January 27.
- Lone Star Law: Patrol and Protect debuts on Discovery on December 29.
- The Jinkx & DeLa Holiday Special is now available on Hulu.
- 90 Day Diaries will premiere on Discovery+ on January 4.
- A Perfect Planet; Mysterious Planet; Judi Dench’s Great Borneo Adventure; and The Impossible Row will debut on Discovery+ on January 4.
Peg Murray, All My Children actress, and Tony-winning performer
Clay Smith, Emmy-winning producer on Entertainment Tonight and Access Hollywood among others
Doug Crane, Animator for Terrytoons, Hanna-Barbera, MTV, Filmation, Oriolo Films, Zander Animation Parlour, and the head animator on Beavis and Butthead
Peter Lamont, Oscar-winning production designer on Titanic, the James Bond films, and Alien among others
Tom Hanneman, Sports broadcaster from the Minnesota-St. Paul area.
The Bachelorette: The Bachelorette, in its effort to kill me during the holiday season, has decided to air two episodes this week, as if I have nothing else to do with my time five days before Christmas. Anyway, fantasy suites. 7 p.m., ABC
Ariana Grande: Excuse Me, I Love You: An on-stage and backstage look at Ariana Grande’s 2019 Sweetener World Tour. Netflix
Scrooged: My family had a recent conversation about who the greatest living comedic actor is, and it’s come down to two contenders. Contender #1 … 5 p.m., AMC
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation: And Contender #2. Feel free to share your own vote. 7 p.m., AMC
- Watch What Happens Live: Twelve Doorbells of Christmas
|CMA Country Christmas
|Bob ♥ Abishola
|Kid of the Year
|CW||Grandma Got Runover by a Reindeer||Greatest Holiday Commercials Countdown 2020||Local|
|Cosmos: Possible Worlds
|NBC||Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch Musical!||Weakest Link