MONDAY
The Bachelorette: The Bachelorette, in its effort to kill me during the holiday season, has decided to air two episodes this week, as if I have nothing else to do with my time five days before Christmas. Anyway, fantasy suites. 7 p.m., ABC
Ariana Grande: Excuse Me, I Love You: An on-stage and backstage look at Ariana Grande’s 2019 Sweetener World Tour. Netflix
Scrooged: My family had a recent conversation about who the greatest living comedic actor is, and it’s come down to two contenders. Contender #1 … 5 p.m., AMC
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation: And Contender #2. Feel free to share your own vote. 7 p.m., AMC
TUESDAY
The Bachelorette: Tayshia picks her man and I’m free from Bachelor Nation for, like, a solid week. Season premiere. 7 p.m., ABC
neXt: Two-hour series finale. 7 p.m., Fox
The Price is Right at Night: PLINKO BUT AT NIGHT. 7 p.m., CBS
Let’s Make a Deal Primetime: By the way, these primetime game shows are the future of CBS’s lineup in January. Thank COVID. 8 p.m., CBS
WEDNESDAY
The Midnight Sky: George Clooney is a scientist racing to save a crew of astronauts during a global catastrophe. Netflix
Monty Python and the Holy Grail: And now for something completely different. 9 p.m., BBC America
I Used to Go Here: Gillian Jacobs stars as a novelist who returns to her alma mater and finds herself involved in the lives of a bunch of college students in this film. 9:45 p.m., HBO
Meet Me in St. Louis: “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” was originally from this Judy Garland film. And that is probably one of those things that everyone knows, but I’m sharing it with you anyway. 7 p.m., TCM
THURSDAY
A Christmas Story: Put on your precious bunny suit, it’s time for the Christmas Story marathon. 8 p.m., TBS
It’s a Wonderful Life: Get those wings, Clarence! 7 p.m., NBC
Last Christmas: I will not give away the ridiculous twist ending of this movie, but I will say it has everything to do with the George Michael song in the title. 7 p.m., HBO
FRIDAY
Wonder Woman: 1984: Welcome to the future of the movie-going experience. HBO Max
Bridgerton: Shonda Rhimes brings Julia Quinn’s best-selling novels set in Regency London high society to life in this new series. Series premiere. Netflix
Soul: A middle-school jazz teacher discovers what it means to have soul in this new Pixar film. Disney+
We Can Be Heroes: Look, this is a kid’s action movie from Robert Rodriguez in the same vein as Spy Kids, but it stars Pedro Pascal so I feel compelled to mention it here. Premiere. Netflix
Basketball: So much NBA basketball. 1 p.m., ABC
Call the Midwife: Holiday Special: Premiere. 8 p.m., PBS
SATURDAY
Letterkenny: Katy continues dating her way through town, the town has a sleepover and the Hockey Players learn about Judaism in an all new season. Season premiere. Hulu
Casablanca: I have a confession: I do not care for this movie. But I bet some of y’all do, so. 7 p.m., TCM
Men in Black marathon: Look, you’re going to spend the day prone on the couch in a post-Christmas stupor, so why not, right? 4:45 p.m., Starz
SUNDAY
The Masked Dancer: Craig Robinson hosts this completely predictable spinoff of The Masked Singer. Series premiere. 7 p.m., Fox
Death to 2020: The Black Mirror people take on this year. Appropriate. Netflix
The Godfather marathon: As always, I absolve you from watching the third. There’s no reason to watch the third. 3:30 p.m., Sundance
Contender #3: Eddie Murphy.