If this shambolic coup attempt wasn’t so damned exhausting, it would almost — ALMOST — be funny.

It’s already Wednesday. I feel like this doggo.

Political Crap

Jesus Christ, I am tired of talking about this fucking election, but our dangerous president and his GOP goons keep making a hash of things so here we are.

Yesterday, I was feeling pretty optimistic about things, especially while Rudy Giuliani was making a complete fool of himself in a Pennsylvania courtroom. According to FoolishWatcher’s legal counsel, it was as if Giuliani had never gone to law school, much less been in a courtroom before. It literally ended with the judge instructing Rudy to write something down:

And, while Giuliani was busy making an ass of himself, the Pennsylvania Supreme Court ruled against the Cheater-in-Chief’s claim that Republicans were denied access to observe the vote count.

So that’s all good news!

But. There is still plenty of mischief these assholes can make. President Aerys II Targaryen fired the head of election security, CISA chief Chris Krebs, via tweet because Mr. Krebs did his job and refused to validate President Liar’s lies.

Then, over in Wayne County, Michigan, the two Republican canvassers on a four-person panel, refused to certify the results — though, to be fair, one of the Republicans offered a compromise: they could just throw out all the votes from Detroit and count the white votes rest. The plan here was to throw a wrench into the certification process, to prevent it from happening, thereby giving the Republican state legislature the power to choose the electors. Michigan went to Biden by almost 150,000 votes.

Guess who thought this was AWESOME?

Fortunately, for democracy, the Michigan Secretary of State called bullshit on this pitiful attempted coup and promised that if Wayne County wouldn’t certify their results, she would. And within a couple of hours of making this trouble, the two Republicans who tried to disenfranchise the entire state (but mostly the Black citizens) reversed their votes, and the certification was allowed to proceed.

Over in Nevada, President Lunatic is suing to be declared the winner of the state — or, alternatively, because they aren’t unreasonable, that no winner be declared. Biden won the state by 33,596 votes.

And then there’s Georgia. Apparently, Lindsey Graham’s phone call to Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger, urging him to throw away legal votes wasn’t the first time he’d been pressured by his fellow Republicans to play dirty:

Raffensperger, a Republican, declined an offer in January to serve as an honorary co-chair of the Trump campaign in Georgia, according to emails reviewed by ProPublica. He later rejected GOP requests to support Trump publicly, he and his staff said in interviews. Raffensperger said he believed that, because he was overseeing the election, it would be a conflict of interest for him to take sides. Around the country, most secretaries of state remain officially neutral in elections.

Leading the push for Raffensperger’s endorsement was Billy Kirkland, a senior adviser to the Trump campaign who was a key manager of its Georgia operations. Kirkland burst uninvited into a meeting in Raffensperger’s office in the late spring that was supposed to be about election procedures and demanded that the secretary of state endorse Trump, according to Raffensperger and two of his staffers.

The Trump campaign did not accept Raffensperger’s refusal. After Raffensperger announced that his office would mail absentee ballot applications to every registered voter in the state ahead of its June primary, a move opposed by the Trump campaign, the executive director of the Georgia Republican Party, Stewart Bragg, requested a meeting. He told Raffensperger’s staff that he wanted to discuss election law and outstanding public records requests for voter data filed by the party.

Kirkland crashed the meeting shortly after it began. “A lot of people have noticed you didn’t endorse,” he said, according to two staffers. Raffensperger again made clear that any endorsements were against office policy, he told ProPublica.

Raffensperger had to leave the meeting early for another event. When the meeting came to a close, one of his staffers offered to continue the conversations at a later date and asked if there was any additional publicly available voter data that the party needed. “We’ll see how helpful you are in November,” Kirkland said, before leaving the office and slamming the door behind him, according to the staffers.

Coooool.

And the thing is, Biden is going to be sworn in on January 20, 2021, but he’s going to be sworn in with over half of Republicans believing that he stole the election, thanks to these fruitless shenanigans. Our already divided and partisan politics are somehow being even more poisoned, and Joe Biden, already facing an uphill challenge when he enters office between having to handle a deadly pandemic and an economic catastrophe, will face the suspicions and conspiracy theories of millions of Trump voters. But because President Burn It All Down and his party care not one whit about this country but only about maintaining their power, they are literally laying traps for the Biden administration on their way out the door.

IT’S FINE. EVERYTHING IS FINE AND I AM NOT FURIOUS AT ALL. I’M FINE.

Going Viral

1,639 Americans died of COVID-19 yesterday. 159,441 Americans tested positive. We are almost a week from Thanksgiving. This is going to get worse.

In a bit of helpful news, Zoom is going to make its platform available for free all day on Thanksgiving, so consider getting together with friends and family that way, please and thank you.

New Orleans is canceling Mardi Gras. Mardi Gras is one of my favorite holidays, up there with Halloween and Christmas, but this is the only call to make. Also, true story: in mid-February, I went to New Orleans for what my family calls Baby Mardi Gras  — the weekend ahead of Mardi Gras weekend — and I am almost certain I caught the virus there. I was sick for a solid three weeks and lost my sense of taste and smell, but because this was before Tom Hanks Day, there were no tests to take, I’ll never really know.

A handful of Republican governors have finally issued mask mandates.

In positive news, the Pfizer vaccine is now said to be 95% effective. That said, it will be a massive undertaking to get any vaccine out quickly, which is why this isn’t good:

Oh, Giant Food, oh no.

Senator Chuck Grassley has tested positive. He was on the Senate floor on Monday. Senator Rick Scott is also in quarantine.

Harvey Weinstein is very sick, and it’s probably COVID, again, but his reps are being really vague about it.

The Mandalorian‘s Gina Canaro is a big anti-mask MAGA-ite, so that’s a bummer.

The Intl. Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees is accusing The Golf Channel of being super stingy with their testing, leading to an outbreak among the production crew.

Here’s a really long piece about how talk shows are filming during COVID, and basically? Virtual audiences and lots of social distancing.

Jodie Comer and Stephen Graham are starring in a drama set in a nursing home during COVID for Channel 4.

All Other TV News

Hey — have you burned through all of The Crown season four already? Or are you just looking for a delicious costume drama to binge during these stressful times? I wrote a little thing for Chron.com with a few suggestions — including a few shows that might have skipped your notice.

You can also watch the pilot episode of The Flight Attendant, HBO Max’s new series, for free right here.

David Fincher knows how he wants Mindhunter to end — and it’s really good — SO JUST DO IT ALREADY, DAVID FINCHER, DAMN.

McDreamy is apparently sticking around for a while. And apparently, Isaiah Washington’s grudge against Katherine Heigl isn’t going anywhere, either.

Paul Bettany addresses the one thing everyone is curious about regarding Vision. (Purple.)

An interview with CNN’s vote counter, John King

“Do you feel any sort of rivalry with your state-election-board peer, MSNBC’s Steve Kornacki?” New York magazine’s Dan Hyman asked.

“I don’t know him. And, honestly, I don’t have a clue what he’s doing most of the time cause I’m on live television,” John King said.

LOOK AT JOHN KING PULLING A MARIAH OVER HERE.

Apple is going to make the Charlie Brown specials, including A Charlie Brown ThanksgivingA Charlie Brown Christmas, and It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, available on PBS.

NBCUniversal and ViacomCBS are laying off employees.

TV productions are moving back to California from other states for the tax credits. Nature is healing.

Renewals

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • The Bachelor returns on June 4 on ABC.

  • High School Musical: The Musical: The Holiday Special will debut on Disney+ on December 11.
  • Zack Snyder’s Justice League will debut on HBO Max sometime in 2021.

  • The Wilds will debut on Amazon on December 11.
  • The Ripper will premiere on Netflix on December 16.
  • The Grand Tour Presents: A Massive Hunt will premiere on Amazon on December 18.
  • Stylish with Jenna Lyons begins streaming on HBO Max on December 3.
  • The Surgeon’s Cut will premiere on Netflix on December 9.
  • Leyla Everlasting will debut on Netflix on December 4.
  • Summer Camp Island will return on HBO Max on December 10.
  • Bear Witness, Take Action 2 will stream on YouTube on December 5.
  • Heroes of Lucha Libre will debut on Crackle on November 25.

R.I.P.

Ben Watkins, 14-year-old former contestant on MasterChef Junior

WATCH THIS

Crazy, Not Insane: This documentary looks at Dr. Dorothy Otnow Lewis, a psychiatrist who studies the minds of brutal serial killers. 8 p.m., HBO

Holiday Home Makeover with Mr. Christmas: And on a lighter note … an interior decorator helps families decorate for the holidays. Series premiere. Netflix

For Life: Marie faces criminal charges for helping Aaron in the season premiere. 9 p.m., ABC

The Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse: Mickey and friends have a new cartoon series and it premieres on his birthday. Happy 92nd birthday, Mick! Series premiere. Disney+

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Dan Levy, Michael J. Fox, Julia Michaels
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Hugh Grant, Emily Spivey, Valerie Franco
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Matthew McConaughey, Cedric the Entertainer
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Alison Brie, Yuval Noah Harari
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Goldie Hawn, Alex Winter, Beabadoobee
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
  • Conan: Thomas Middleditch
  • Watch What Happens Live: Shannon Storms Beador, Heather Gay

WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Goldbergs
(new)
American Housewife
(new)
The Conners
(new)
black-ish
(new)
For Life
(new)
CBS The Amazing Race
(new)
The Amazing Race
(new)
S.W.A.T.
(new)
CW Devils
(new)
Coroner
(new)
Local
FOX The Masked Singer
(new)
I Can See Your Voice
(new)
News/Local
NBC Chicago Med
(new)
Chicago Fire
(new)
Chicago P.D.
(new)

 

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