Election Eve is batshit insane here in Texas. Please vote (or be prepared to vote again, as the case may be).

UPDATE: In the Harris County case, Judge Hanen has ordered that the 127,000+ drive-thru votes will be counted, and drive-thru voting can continue tomorrow. However, he also ordered that tomorrow’s drive-thru votes be put on a separate drive in the event of an appeal to the Fifth Circuit and/or Supreme Court. Foolishwatcher’s legal expert advises that if you have not voted yet, that you do so in-person, not drive-thru, if at all possible. As someone who voted in-person, I can attest they make it safe. Good luck and Godspeed.

It’s the Monday before Election Day. We’re going to get through this, y’all.

Political Crap

Alright. Deep breaths. We’re either almost there or we are on the edge of a dangerous and chaotic precipice. I’m genuinely not sure which. But the President of the United States is out there saying that if he isn’t declared the winner on Election Night — something that never happens (we project a winner on Election night, we don’t officially declare a winner until a few weeks after Election Day) — he will send out his teams of lawyers to try to prevent legally valid ballots from being counted.

This is not a drill.

His side is clearly worried they don’t have the votes, and they are staging desperate stunts like organizing Trump Truck parades blocking traffic on major highways across the country.

First of all, I am old enough to remember when protestors shutting down thoroughfares were considered “terrorists” by some on the other side, and it was enough provocation for the police and national guard to use tear gas and other violent means against them.

But second of all, these “caravans” are not meant to convince anyone to vote for President Fascist — if you get stuck on Loop 610 behind some dipshit driving a dualie with eight Trump flags flapping behind it, you’re not going to be inspired to vote for their guy. Instead, I suspect these “parades” were organized so that when the popular vote doesn’t swing in President Detestable’s favor, his supporters can scream “FRAUD!” and point to these images to show the “enthusiasm” for the Trump campaign and seed some sense of doubt on the actual results.

And speaking of dipshits in dualies with eight Trump flags driving recklessly around Texas, the big story from the election this weekend was how a bunch of President Right-Wing Terrorist’s supporters surrounded a Biden campaign bus, harassing it, and slowed down to either try to make it stop in the middle of the highway or force it off the road:

One actually side-swiped a Biden campaign staffer’s car:

The Biden campaign canceled the Pflugerville event they were headed to when this happened, for obvious reasons. (Although, I genuinely wish they hadn’t. The only way to shut down these bullies is to stand up to them and not let them intimidate you with their dumb loud toys.)

President Caravan obviously thinks this is GREAT! and in general, the right is claiming that the trucks were just “escorting” the bus and the Biden campaign are being a bunch of whiny babies.

Fortunately, the FBI doesn’t think this was just harmless fun and is looking into it, much to the irritation of President LAW AND ORDER!

The other stunt that the GOP is trying to pull here in Texas is disenfranchising some 127,000 Harris County voters on the eve of Election Day.

Harris County set up drive-thru voting and over one hundred thousand people took advantage of it. And now, because Harris County is a blue county, a GOP activist and some Republican candidates have sued in federal court to throw out all of those votes.

Some things you should note: Harris county received the Texas Secretary of State’s approval to set up drive-thru voting; Harris County used drive-thru voting in a runoff in July without complaint; other, redder counties had drive-thru voting for this election and no one sued them; and the very Republican Texas Supreme Court has ruled twice now that it’s fine.

Taking this to a federal judge and saying that the states shouldn’t determine how elections are held is not exactly a traditionally conservative position. Then again, if the past four years have taught us anything, “traditionally conservative” means absolutely bupkis.

A hearing before a very partisan federal judge is taking place on this issue as I write this. I don’t know how it is going to turn out, but if you happened to vote drive-thru, I hope you plan to return to the polls tomorrow to cast a provisional ballot.

But please see these two events, the violent threat against the Biden bus and this effort to strip over one hundred thousand Texans of their vote, as part of the same GOP malady: a potent combination of insecurity and fear. These are acts of an insecure and terrified party suddenly watching their ill-gotten power slip away from them. They long betted on gerrymandering and voter suppression on keeping them in power.

They bet wrong.

They’re losing, and instead of trying to come up with winning policies and platforms, instead of trying to win on ideas, they are choosing violent intimidation, cheating, and the shredding of democracy altogether.

Don’t despair. Vote. We have one more day to push this whole thing into the lane of inevitability and to avoid chaos and uncertainty, but only if people vote, and vote in numbers they can’t fuck with. Let’s do this thing.

Going Viral

Welp.

Other fun things that President Psychopath said this weekend at his superspreader events: kids don’t get COVID-19, and that healthcare workers, somehow, are profiting off of COVID-19 deaths.

I’ve already ranted about this as someone who grew up in a family full of doctors, but I want to make one more point about this completely insane allegation: it’s just one more example of President Superspreader encouraging and repeating anti-science and anti-elite conspiracies that appeal to the less educated and hyper-religious. It’s dangerous not just because it undermines people’s confidence in our health care system — DURING A PANDEMIC — but also because it intensifies the cultural divisions that we are going to be dealing with long after President Burn It All Down is gone.

Chances are, some of those people chanting “Fire Fauci!” at last night’s rally are going to catch COVID-19 from being there, some might actually die of it. A study has linked some 30,000 cases of corona to these rallies and at least 700 deaths.

Meanwhile, Tucker Carlson reveals the right’s true beliefs: “a secular society cannot handle a pandemic like this, because a secular society denies that death is real.” Now, if I’m giving Tucker the benefit of the doubt, I think he means a secular society denies that death is inevitable, not “real.” But as a secularist monster, I would counter that what we believe is that some deaths related to COVID-19 were, of course, inevitable, but that most are — or were — preventable. Shame we didn’t even bother trying.

Across the pond, the U.K. is going on lockdown. Boris Johnson has recognized that the virus is raging out of control there. Fun fact! In the U.K., their deaths per one million is 687. Here in the States, it’s 713.

This happened:

All Other TV News

The Bob Ross Experience is a real thing in Indiana, and is that dose of happy little trees I think we could all use right about now.

While CBS has quite the roster of interconnected shows, no one has built quite the fictional universe as Dick Wolf. Related: on The Goldberg‘s season premiere, the Goldberg family flew to Miami on “Oceanic Airlines.” Does this mean The Goldbergs takes place in the same universe as Lost? Considering how much that show jumps around in the 80s, I would say absolutely, yes.

A reminder: if you “buy” media from Prime Video, you don’t actually own it.

GO ON WITH YOUR BAD SELF, GENERAL HOSPITAL!

Get better soon, Jeannie Mai!

Get better soon, Stephen Amell!

Cancellations

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • Transhood will debut on HBO on November 12.
  • I Hate Suzie will stream on HBO Max on November 19.

  • The Witcher will return on Netflix sometime in 2021.

R.I.P.

Sean Connery, Oscar-winning movie star, and the original James Bond

Eddie Hassell, Actor on Surface and Devious Maids

Nikki McKibbin, American Idol season one finalist

David Rodriguez, Producer and director on The Chi

Nate Burrell, A star of the docuseries 60 Days In

Charles Gordon, Producer of a number of movies, including Field of Dreams and Die Hard

WATCH THIS

The Good Doctor: Dr. Shaun and the team deal with COVID-19 in the season premiere. 9 p.m., ABC

The 2020 SNL Election Special: Remember Will Ferrell’s George W. Bush and how we used to think he was the worst president of our lifetimes? LOL, good times. 9 p.m., NBC

Below Deck: The charter season is already in question when Captain Lee is sent to the hospital, and it’s only the first episode, you guys! Season premiere. 8 p.m., Bravo

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Anthony Anderson, Sen. Elizabeth Warren, Big Boi and Sleepy Brown featuring Killer Mike & Big Rube
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: John Mulaney
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: John Oliver, JoJo
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Pete Buttigieg, Travis
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: John Lithgow, Freddie Highmore, Giveon
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
  • Conan: Andy Daly
  • Watch What Happens Live: Eddie Lucas, Francesca Rubi

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Dancing With the Stars
(new)
The Good Doctor
(new)
CBS The Price is Right At Night
(new)
All Rise
(repeat)
Bull
(repeat)
CW Whose Line is it Anyway?
(new)
Whose Line is it Anyway?
(repeat)
Penn & Teller: Try This At Home Too
(new)
Local
FOX L.A.’s Finest
(new)
Filthy Rich
(new)
News/Local
NBC The Voice
(new)
The 2020 SNL Election Special
(new)

Leave a Reply