Welcome to the longest two weeks of your life.

It’s Monday, it’s always Monday, it will always be Monday.


It is fifteen days until the election. The polls are still breaking Biden’s direction, people are voting early in astounding record-breaking numbers (I’m so proud of my state of Texas: over 4 million of us have voted — the most in the country — and we are, after ONE WEEK of voting, at 50% of all votes cast in 2016), the Trump campaign’s October surprise is turning into an embarrassment … but it’s not the time to be complacent. I still have 2016 PTSD and I am not ready to let down the side with two weeks left to go.

Please go vote if you haven’t already — and if you have voted, nag someone you love who hasn’t voted yet. It’s not enough for President Wannabe Autocrat to lose, he needs to lose in an overwhelming, incontrovertible fashion, and take with him all the down-ticket cowardly Republicans who compromised themselves to protect his lard ass.

Going Viral

Things are not trending well on the COVID front. We are at the beginning of a second (third?) wave, with more than 65,000 people testing positive daily. While the deaths have not yet ticked up significantly, it’s just a matter of time — roughly a week or two from now, we should see some alarming numbers.

And yet, according to President Contagious himself, Dr. Fauci is a “disaster,” the virus is  “rounding the corner” and going just fine. Seems he’s relying on the opinion of Dr. Scott Atlas, a neuroradiologist he added to the Coronavirus Task Force because President Science Denier liked Dr. Scott’s happy talk about how the virus is no big deal. According to this Washington Post article that you should definitely read but will definitely upset you:

Atlas shot down attempts to expand testing. He openly feuded with other doctors on the coronavirus task force and succeeded in largely sidelining them. He advanced fringe theories, such as that social distancing and mask-wearing were meaningless and would not have changed the course of the virus in several hard-hit areas. And he advocated allowing infections to spread naturally among most of the population while protecting the most vulnerable and those in nursing homes until the United States reaches herd immunity, which experts say would cause excess deaths, according to three current and former senior administration officials.

Atlas also cultivated Trump’s affection with his public assertions that the pandemic is nearly over, despite death and infection counts showing otherwise, and his willingness to tell the public that a vaccine could be developed before the Nov. 3 election, despite clear indications of a slower timetable.

This asshole tweeted just this weekend that masks don’t work, and has prevented money allocated by Congress from going towards testing:

Birx and Fauci have advocated dramatically increasing the nation’s testing capacity, especially as experts anticipate a devastating increase in cases this winter. They have urged the government to use unspent money Congress allocated for testing — which amounts to $9 billion, according to a Democratic Senate appropriations aide — so that anyone who needs to can get a test with results returned quickly.

But Atlas, who is opposed to surveillance testing, has repeatedly quashed these proposals. He has argued that young and healthy people do not need to get tested and that testing resources should be allocated to nursing homes and other vulnerable places, such as prisons and meatpacking plants.


This is who we’re dealing with. Meanwhile, President Snake Oil is putting all his chips on a vaccine — or a “cure” as he keeps incorrectly calling it — to magically arrive before November 3.

Trump has envisioned a greenlit vaccine as the kind of breakthrough that could persuade voters to see his management of the pandemic as successful and thus upend a race in which virtually all public polls show him trailing Democratic nominee Joe Biden.

Earlier this fall, Trump called Albert Bourla, the chief executive of Pfizer, and asked whether a vaccine could be ready for distribution by late October, before the election. Pfizer spokeswoman Sharon Castillo said executives have regular communications with administration officials on a wide range of health policy issues but that she could not comment on private conversations.

On a call in August with Francis Collins, director of the National Institutes of Health, Trump accused the agency of moving too slowly to approve a vaccine or other treatments, including convalescent plasma, according to two officials familiar with the conversation. The NIH, which declined to comment, is a biomedical research agency and does not approve treatments or vaccines.

Anyway, you should read the whole thing. Frankly, the only thing scarier than this rank incompetence is thinking about what this White House will do — or refuse to do — after November 3 if they lose.

Well, well, well. Look who’s taking COVID seriously now:

[Chris] Christie on Thursday spoke more seriously than perhaps any other Trump ally on coronavirus, admitting he should have adhered to health precautions and describing how the disease nearly took his life. “I was wrong,” Christie told the New York Times. “I was wrong not to wear a mask at the Amy Coney Barrett announcement and I was wrong not to wear a mask at my multiple debate prep sessions with the president and the rest of the team.

“I hope that my experience shows my fellow citizens that you should follow [Centers for Disease Control and Prevention] guidelines in public no matter where you are and wear a mask to protect yourself and others,” he added.

Christopher Cross, the king of yacht rock, had COVD-19 and was temporarily paralyzed by it. Jesus.

Netflix’s Idris Elba Western, The Harder They Fall, had to suspend production after an actor tested positive.

Restaurant Hustle 2020: All on the Line, a film that follows four restauranteurs, Maneet Chauhan, Antonia Lofaso, Christian Petroni, and Marcus Samuelsson, as they struggle to survive the pandemic, will debut on Food Network on December 27.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta was supposed to film Cynthia Bailey’s wedding, but then COVID-19 and a hurricane conspired against it.

All Other TV News

As noted last week, Dexter is returning as a limited series on Showtime, and the creator promises to “make things right.” There’s only one answer to achieving that: Dexter must die. 

Katey Sagal has a new show coming out on ABC, but she is NOT abdicating her role as Dan Conner’s girlfriend on The Conners. Which is good: Dan is a one-woman kinda man, and the whole Dan/Louise relationship was well-written and conceived. It would be a disservice and a betrayal to the character to move another girlfriend in so quickly.

All the cop procedurals have some reckoning to do this season.

Do you know who doesn’t miss Saturday Night Live? Leslie Jones DOES NOT miss Saturday Night Live: “I don’t miss it. At all,” Jones said to Entertainment Tonight. “That job was hard, man. That job was like two jobs and very restrictive, too. I wasn’t very free there.”

Ratched is Netflix’s biggest hit of the year: 48 million streams in a month, for what it’s worth.

The Guinness Book of World Records claims these are the most “in-demand” TV shows, but I have no idea how these were calcuated.

LOOK AT THIS DUMB HEADLINE: ‘Game of Thrones’ Showrunner David Benioff Explains Why Pedro Pascal Was the Perfect Red Viper. BITCH, EXPLANATION UNNECESSARY.

David Milch, the creator of Deadwood and NYPD Blue, opens up about his Alzheimer’s diagnosis. What a heartbreaking story. Godspeed, sir.


In Development

  • Nate’s, a comedy about a black-owned dive bar in Washington D.C., is being developed at ABC.
  • Everybody Loves Diamonds has been ordered at Amazon.
  • MTV has acquired Pink Skies Ahead, a film that stars Jessica Barden, Mary J. Blige, Marcia Gay Harden, Michael McKean, Lewis Pullman, Devon Bostick, Evan Ross Cameron, Rosa Salazar, Odeya Rush, and Henry Winkler.

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • Stephen Colbert’s Election Night 2020: Democracy’s Last Stand: Building Back America Great Again Better 2020 will air live on Showtime on November 3.
  • American Housewife returns on ABC on October 28.
  • The Simpsons “Treehouse of Horror” episode has been moved to November 1 on Fox.

  • Industry will premiere on HBO on November 9.
  • Fireball will debut on Apple TV+ on November 13.
  • Big Rad Wolf debuts today on Quibi.


Rhonda Fleming, Actress from Hollywood’s “Golden Age” who worked with Alfred Hitchcock and Bing Crosby

Anthony Chisholm, Broadway, film, and television actor

Doreen Montalvo, Broadway actress

Miles Ketley, CEO of Stolen Picture, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost’s production company

Bob Biggs, Founder of Slash Records

Sid Hartman, Sports columnist


Unsolved Mysteries: The second half of the reboot of Unsolved Mysteries is here, with five more murders and disappearances and one ghost story. Can’t. Wait. Premiere. Netflix

The Voice: Gwen Stefani is back. Season premiere. 7 p.m., NBC

The Third Day: Helen and the girls attempt to escape the island in the series finale. 8 p.m., HBO

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Gwen Stefani, Swizz Beatz, Timbaland, Bebe Rexha featuring Doja Cat
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Sen. Amy Klobuchar, Ego Nwodim, Todd Sucherman
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Joy Reid, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Sacha Baron Cohen, Emma Roberts, Ozuna featuring Doja Cat
  • Watch What Happens Live: “Below Deck Mediterranean” Reunion, Part 1

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Dancing With the Stars
Emergency Call
CBS Big Brother
One Day at a Time
One Day at a Time
Manhunt: Deadly Games
CW Whose Line is it Anyway?
Whose Line is it Anyway?
Penn & Teller: Try This At Home Too
FOX L.A.’s Finest
Filthy Rich
NBC The Voice
Weakest Link

One thought on “Welcome to the longest two weeks of your life.

  1. In older Chicago days, you were encouraged to vote early and often.
    If it were a movie, it would be called “Day of the Voting Dead”.

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