It’s Tuesday, August 25, and we are 70 days from Election Day.
And you’re not the only one losing your damn mind right now:
Dunkin Donuts is out here having a breakdown like the rest of us pic.twitter.com/3RNUgMQbuZ
— Dwight “Mountain Mama” Davis (@tdwightdavis) August 24, 2020
Yesterday was the first day of the Republican National Convention (although, technically it was also the last day of the convention: the party business was taken care of yesterday afternoon when they nominated Dear Leader and White Bread, so all of these speeches this week are just one long campaign ad). It went exactly as you’d expect:
After constant bitching about Hollywood actresses hosting the Democratic National Convention, Jon Voight introduced the Republican event.
RNC chair Ronna McDaniel blasts Democrats for opening their convention with actress Eva Longoria…
Republicans opened their convention with actor Jon Voight. #RNCConvention2020
— S.E. Cupp (@secupp) August 25, 2020
This lead to actor Frank Whaley to reveal that Voight slapped him on set once, and called him a “major dick.”
Fuck Jon Voight. On Ray Donovan he slapped me across the face in the middle of a scene because he couldn’t keep up, then denied doing it. He forgot about the still photographer who was on set. Bottom line: Jon Voight is a major dick. #RNCConvention2020 pic.twitter.com/l7o2HQOxx9
— Frank Whaley (@TheFrankWhaley) August 25, 2020
Idiot Dean Cain then decided to chime in:
He slapped you — that's quite clear. The reason he slapped you remains a mystery… 🤔 although I have an idea.
— Dean Cain (@RealDeanCain) August 25, 2020
… which led to people piling on Dean Cain:
Dean Cain and I get the same amount of acting work. Difference is, I am a plumber.
— WRH (@oWRHo) August 25, 2020
Dean Cain is the Scott Baio of James Woods
— Marginally Wicked #864511320 (@PinkyD124) August 25, 2020
Dean Cain, Kristy Swanson, and Scott Baio walk into a bar. The bartender says “You must have the schedule wrong. Your shifts start at 8.”
— Collin Murr (@CollinMurr) August 25, 2020
Charlie Kirk’s tiny little face called President Lard Ass the “defender of Western Civilization,” as if it needs defending from something.
The gun-waving couple from St. Louis warned America that the Democrats are going to “abolish” the suburbs. (Note: They do not live in the suburbs.)
Why does this look like its from the Purge! https://t.co/OT985ztCYx
— Travis (@_TRAV23) August 25, 2020
Dummy Jr. began trending with “cocaine” on Twitter for some mysterious reason.
what is going on here pic.twitter.com/KxZSlmcbrs
— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) August 25, 2020
But the star of last night was Dummy’s girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle, who shrieked her way through her speech for some reason. I AM NOT GOING TO SPECULATE WHY, BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO BE SUED BUT I BET YOU CAN GUESS WHAT I AM THINKING.
Who did this?? 😂 pic.twitter.com/GFZYGRLUxX
— MeidasTouch.com (@MeidasTouch) August 25, 2020
I mean just look at this complete insanity:
Kim Jong Un got reincarnated. 😂😂#KimberlyGuilfoyle pic.twitter.com/PEtp30gkeV
— Katy (@KatyJayne101) August 25, 2020
— Deon🌹 (@DBF_NYC) August 25, 2020
ICYMI here’s Kimberly Guilfoyle’s #RNC speech.
— JerriLynn (@Jerri_Lynn25) August 25, 2020
Kimberly Guilfoyle is the loudest Cecily Strong character ever. #RepublicanConvention
— Julie Hinds (@juliehinds) August 25, 2020
"Kimberly Guilfoyle” huh? You don’t fool me Rita Repulsa!! pic.twitter.com/Xxorgh3iUa
— voktyr 🗯 (@voktyr) August 25, 2020
And MSNBC had to constantly break in to fact check all the bullshit that was being spewed. Here’s a list of all the lies that were told last night. It’s long.
All that said, I will grant that Nikki Haley and Tim Scott, who closed out the night, gave calm, measured speeches that did not seem to be completely fueled by cocaine, so that’s something! See? I can be positive!
But seriously, you guys, someone in the campaign needs to send Dummy Jr. and his lunatic girlfriend to
rehab a nice spa resort for about 28 days or so.
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire has resumed production.
VMA performers have been given a quarantine pass.
The Emmys are talking about having professional cameras and operators for every nominee. This seems like a lot of professional setups to be managing, but sure!
Meanwhile, the iHeartRadio Music Awards have been canceled for 2020.
The Kelly Clarkson Show will have a “live virtual” audience when it returns next month.
The Bold and the Beautiful has resumed production after having to shut down (and just in time for more people to test positive at Television City!).
Production on TV series has been halted in South Korea as the country is experiencing a resurgence in cases.
Usain Bolt has tested positive for COVID-19.
Kevin Hart also tested positive back in March but didn’t reveal this because it was the same time as Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson announced they were positive.
The University of Alabama has more than 500 cases of COVID; The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill is nearly 650. NOT GREAT, GUYS.
Kentucky Fried Chicken is suspending its “Finger-Lickin’ Good” slogan thanks to the virus.
Ozzy Osbourne wants you to take care of yourself and your mental health during this time.
Netflix caused a stink when they used a weirdly inappropriate poster for the movie The Cuties which grossly sexualized its 11-year-old cast. Netflix has since apologized.
TMZ and Harry Levin are being hit with a discrimination and retaliation complaint from a former employee. A lawsuit could be in the works.
Bryan Callen has been dropped by his agents and management.
Last week, I wrote about how Ron Meyer, the NBC Universal vice-chairman, stepped down from his post after being extorted about an affair he had with actress Charlotte Kirk. Kirk, you might remember, also took down Warner Bros. CEO Kevin Tsujihara in a scandal that involved Bret Ratner and billionaire James Packer (with whom Kirk also had an affair).
So now more details are coming out, and it sounds like according to Meyer, he paid off Kirk to keep quiet, but then he was approached by two other people, including director Neil Marshall (who happens to be Kirk’s boyfriend) and Joshua Newton (who happens to be Kirk’s ex-boyfriend) for more money. And that’s when Meyer threw in the towel at NBC Universal. Marshall is denying everything, by the way.
Former Charmed co-stars, Rose McGowan and Alyssa Milano are engaged in a fight about Joe Biden, #MeToo, Charmed, and the Democrats. It’s messy.
Mike Milbury has been removed as a commentator for the remainder of the NHL season after making a dumb comment about women. WOMEN BE TALKING, RIGHT, GUYS?
Natalia Dyer, one of the stars of Stranger Things, spoke out about how the media has sexualized her young co-stars.
All Other TV News
The West Wing cast and creators are reuniting for an HBO Max special to encourage people to vote.
Ellen Pompeo on aging from 33 to 50 on Grey’s Anatomy: “You really see [the difference] because I’m in the same clothes [playing] the same character. So the way I see myself aging — it’s a motherf–ker.” GIRL, I FEEL YOU.
Broadcast comedies are in danger of becoming a thing of the past. It’s complicated, and involves how licensing deals are made with networks, the ratings declines in general, and the preference for binging hour-long dramas over half-hour comedies.
Alf Clausen’s age discrimination lawsuit against The Simpsons has been thrown out.
TV Guide has some good recommendations if you’re looking for something to watch like Black Mirror.
- A Powerpuff Girls live-action series is in the works at The CW.
- A matchmaking comedy from Nisha Ganatra is being developed at ABC.
- Upstate, a comedy film written by and starring Ryan Reynolds, is being made at Netflix.
- Assembly Required, a non-scripted building series produced by and starring Tim Allen, and co-starring Richard Karn, is being developed at History.
- Details are vague, but History is also developing scripted series about Alcatraz and the Roman Empire.
- KID 90, a documentary made by Soleil Moon Frye, has been bought by Hulu.
- The Birth Of Daniel F Harris has been commissioned at Channel 4.
- Sky Documentaries has announced a number of documentaries, including: Let Me Take You Down; The Wimbledon Kidnapping; Micah Richards – Tackling Racism; The Law Man; and The Uncrowned King of F1.
- My Name is Lizzie has been ordered at Channel 4.
- Dorinda Medley is leaving The Real Housewives of New York City, OH NO.
- Garcelle Beauvais is joining The Talk as a new co-host.
- Carole Baskin, Chrishell Stause, Anne Heche, and AJ McLean are in talks to compete in Dancing with the Stars this season. Wait, they haven’t cast this season yet?
- Jordan Alexander is joining HBO Max’s Gossip Girl reboot.
- Noel Clarke will star in Viewpoint on ITV.
Mark Your Calendars
- The Stand will debut on CBS All Access on December 17.
- Enola Holmes will premiere on Netflix on September 23.
- Agents of Chaos will premiere on HBO on September 23.
- David Byrne’s American Utopia will premiere on HBO on October 17.
- 16 and Recovering will debut on MTV on September 1.
- Swamp Thing will make its debut on The CW on October 6.
- The Gift will return on Netflix on September 10.
- Noughts + Crosses will debut on Netflix on September 4.
- Dragon’s Dogma will premiere on Netflix on September 17.
- Corporate Animals will premiere on Crackle on September 1.
- Wireless will premiere on Quibi on September 14.
- #Alive will debut on Netflix on September 8.
- Troll will premiere on Netflix sometime in 2021.
Reelz has released new dates and titles:
- Moonies: Cult of Personality on September 2
- The Children of God: Cult of Personality on September 2
- World’s Most Evil Killers “Angel of Mercy” on September 2
- Bernie Mac: In My Own Words on September 6
- Lucille Ball: We Love Lucy on September 12
- Jimi Hendrix: A Perfect Murder? on September 19
- Goodfellas: Behind Closed Doors on September 26
Alan Rich, Actor in more than 130 movies and TV shows, including Serpico and Curb Your Enthusiasm
Colin Leventhal, UK film executive
Republican National Convention: First Lady Melania Trump 7 p.m., PBS, CNN, MSNBC, FOX News 9 p.m., ABC, CBS, NBC
Trinkets: Second season. Netflix
The Have and Have Nots: In the seventh season summer premiere, Hannah stands her ground. 8 p.m., OWN
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Trey Gowdy, Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Maya Rudolph, Fred Armisen, James Bay
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Maya Rudolph, Fred Armisen, James Bay
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: The Avett Brothers, guest host David Spade
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
|Primetime: What Would You Do?
|Republican National Convention|
|Republican National Convention|
|Tell Me a Story
|NBC||America’s Got Talent
|Republican National Convention|