The Republicans unveil their vision for America and it’s … uh … loud. Really angry and really loud.

It’s Tuesday, August 25, and we are 70 days from Election Day.

And you’re not the only one losing your damn mind right now:

Political Crap

Yesterday was the first day of the Republican National Convention (although, technically it was also the last day of the convention: the party business was taken care of yesterday afternoon when they nominated Dear Leader and White Bread, so all of these speeches this week are just one long campaign ad). It went exactly as you’d expect:

After constant bitching about Hollywood actresses hosting the Democratic National Convention, Jon Voight introduced the Republican event.

This lead to actor Frank Whaley to reveal that Voight slapped him on set once, and called him a “major dick.”

Idiot Dean Cain then decided to chime in:

… which led to people piling on Dean Cain:


Charlie Kirk’s tiny little face called President Lard Ass the “defender of Western Civilization,” as if it needs defending from something.

The gun-waving couple from St. Louis warned America that the Democrats are going to “abolish” the suburbs. (Note: They do not live in the suburbs.)

Dummy Jr. began trending with “cocaine” on Twitter for some mysterious reason.

But the star of last night was Dummy’s girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle, who shrieked her way through her speech for some reason. I AM NOT GOING TO SPECULATE WHY, BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO BE SUED BUT I BET YOU CAN GUESS WHAT I AM THINKING.

I mean just look at this complete insanity:

And MSNBC had to constantly break in to fact check all the bullshit that was being spewed. Here’s a list of all the lies that were told last night. It’s long.

All that said, I will grant that Nikki Haley and Tim Scott, who closed out the night, gave calm, measured speeches that did not seem to be completely fueled by cocaine, so that’s something! See? I can be positive!

But seriously, you guys, someone in the campaign needs to send Dummy Jr. and his lunatic girlfriend to rehab a nice spa resort for about 28 days or so.

Going Viral

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire has resumed production.

VMA performers have been given a quarantine pass.

The Emmys are talking about having professional cameras and operators for every nominee. This seems like a lot of professional setups to be managing, but sure!

Meanwhile, the iHeartRadio Music Awards have been canceled for 2020.

The Kelly Clarkson Show will have a “live virtual” audience when it returns next month.

The Bold and the Beautiful has resumed production after having to shut down (and just in time for more people to test positive at Television City!).

Production on TV series has been halted in South Korea as the country is experiencing a resurgence in cases.

Usain Bolt has tested positive for COVID-19.

Kevin Hart also tested positive back in March but didn’t reveal this because it was the same time as Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson announced they were positive.

The University of Alabama has more than 500 cases of COVID; The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill is nearly 650. NOT GREAT, GUYS.

Kentucky Fried Chicken is suspending its “Finger-Lickin’ Good” slogan thanks to the virus.

Ozzy Osbourne wants you to take care of yourself and your mental health during this time.


Netflix caused a stink when they used a weirdly inappropriate poster for the movie The Cuties which grossly sexualized its 11-year-old cast. Netflix has since apologized.

TMZ and Harry Levin are being hit with a discrimination and retaliation complaint from a former employee. A lawsuit could be in the works.

Bryan Callen has been dropped by his agents and management.

Last week, I wrote about how Ron Meyer, the NBC Universal vice-chairman, stepped down from his post after being extorted about an affair he had with actress Charlotte Kirk. Kirk, you might remember, also took down Warner Bros. CEO Kevin Tsujihara in a scandal that involved Bret Ratner and billionaire James Packer (with whom Kirk also had an affair).

So now more details are coming out, and it sounds like according to Meyer, he paid off Kirk to keep quiet, but then he was approached by two other people, including director Neil Marshall (who happens to be Kirk’s boyfriend) and Joshua Newton (who happens to be Kirk’s ex-boyfriend) for more money. And that’s when Meyer threw in the towel at NBC Universal. Marshall is denying everything, by the way.

Former Charmed co-stars, Rose McGowan and Alyssa Milano are engaged in a fight about Joe Biden, #MeToo, Charmed, and the Democrats. It’s messy.

Mike Milbury has been removed as a commentator for the remainder of the NHL season after making a dumb comment about women. WOMEN BE TALKING, RIGHT, GUYS?

Natalia Dyer, one of the stars of Stranger Things, spoke out about how the media has sexualized her young co-stars.

All Other TV News

The West Wing cast and creators are reuniting for an HBO Max special to encourage people to vote.

Ellen Pompeo on aging from 33 to 50 on Grey’s Anatomy: “You really see [the difference] because I’m in the same clothes [playing] the same character. So the way I see myself aging — it’s a motherf–ker.” GIRL, I FEEL YOU.

Broadcast comedies are in danger of becoming a thing of the past. It’s complicated, and involves how licensing deals are made with networks, the ratings declines in general, and the preference for binging hour-long dramas over half-hour comedies.

Alf Clausen’s age discrimination lawsuit against The Simpsons has been thrown out.

TV Guide has some good recommendations if you’re looking for something to watch like Black Mirror.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • The Stand will debut on CBS All Access on December 17.
  • Enola Holmes will premiere on Netflix on September 23.
  • Agents of Chaos will premiere on HBO on September 23.
  • David Byrne’s American Utopia will premiere on HBO on October 17.
  • 16 and Recovering will debut on MTV on September 1.
  • Swamp Thing will make its debut on The CW on October 6.
  • The Gift will return on Netflix on September 10.
  • Noughts + Crosses will debut on Netflix on September 4.
  • Dragon’s Dogma will premiere on Netflix on September 17.
  • Corporate Animals will premiere on Crackle on September 1.
  • Wireless will premiere on Quibi on September 14.
  • #Alive will debut on Netflix on September 8.
  • Troll will premiere on Netflix sometime in 2021.

Reelz has released new dates and titles:

  • Moonies: Cult of Personality on September 2
  • The Children of God: Cult of Personality on September 2
  • World’s Most Evil Killers “Angel of Mercy” on September 2
  • Bernie Mac: In My Own Words on September 6
  • Lucille Ball: We Love Lucy on September 12
  • Jimi Hendrix: A Perfect Murder? on September 19
  • Goodfellas: Behind Closed Doors on September 26


Alan Rich, Actor in more than 130 movies and TV shows, including Serpico and Curb Your Enthusiasm

Colin Leventhal, UK film executive


Republican National Convention: First Lady Melania Trump 7 p.m., PBS, CNN, MSNBC, FOX News 9 p.m., ABC, CBS, NBC

Trinkets: Second season. Netflix

The Have and Have Nots: In the seventh season summer premiere, Hannah stands her ground. 8 p.m., OWN

Late Night:

  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Trey Gowdy, Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Maya Rudolph, Fred Armisen, James Bay
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Maya Rudolph, Fred Armisen, James Bay
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: The Avett Brothers, guest host David Spade
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show


TUES. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Modern Family
Modern Family
Primetime: What Would You Do?
Republican National Convention
Love Island
Republican National Convention
CW Dead Pixels
Dead Pixels
Tell Me a Story
FOX Hell’s Kitchen
Prodigal Son
NBC America’s Got Talent
Republican National Convention

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