Congratulations on making it to another Tuesday! Here are a bunch of ducks and geese marching to the Imperial March:
So I added the Imperial March to this video and I don't know if I'll ever sleep again.🔊
📹: Imgur user papemaker pic.twitter.com/Vh7vBUDSwi
— Paul Bronks (@SlenderSherbet) August 7, 2020
Let’s start with some TV news, today for a refreshing change of pace.
Kelly Clarkson will be your Simon Cowell tonight and tomorrow.
Kenya Barris has convinced Hulu to release the episode of black-ish that ABC shelved because they found it to controversial. The episode, “Please, Baby, Please,” touched upon the issue of athletes kneeling and apparently made some comments about President Culture Wars that made the network nervous. Vanity Fair has a good dive into the episode, and how in the wake of the George Floyd protests it hardly seems controversial. But they point out that back in 2018, ABC was trying to make inroads with more conservative voters and that Disney was trying to get approval from the Justice Department to buy 21st Century Fox.
Disney is removing “Fox” from 20th Century Fox TV studio’s name — making it just “20th Television” — and this headline wins the day.
Is DC Universe doomed? (Probably.)
The British show Taskmaster has been yoinked from The CW’s schedule despite some good reviews from the few people who watched it. But good news: it’s been moved to CW Seed, an online platform, so you can watch the remaining episodes there. And who knows, maybe it’ll find an audience and get a second chance.
Carol Baskin’s first husband’s family is offering a $100,000 reward in exchange for information to help solve his disappearance. Stay tuned, all you cool cats and kittens.
I don’t know who needs to hear this for the umpteenth time, but WALTER WHITE IS DEAD. He did not create a new identity and become Malcolm’s dad unless he invented a time machine. COME ON.
Y’all shouldn’t come for Kelly Ripa.
And y’all need to leave Cathy from The Office alone.
If anyone is wondering what it was like to be on The Office, the best comedy of this century: I just posted something on Instagram about how my dog was murdered and a bunch of people were like “Fuck you, Cathy, she deserved it!” So. There ya go!
— Lindsey Broad (@LindseyBroad) August 7, 2020
Congratulations, Chris Pratt and Katherine Schwarzenegger!
Good luck with your recovery, Alyssa Milano:
I was acutely sick w/ Covid19 in April. I still have many symptoms. I am what they call a “long hauler”. Last night, I had real heaviness in my chest. I went to the ER just to make sure it wasn’t a blood clot. Thankfully, it wasn’t.
This virus sucks. Please take it seriously. pic.twitter.com/JcMkVSNn4y
— Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) August 9, 2020
Thought I’d show you what #Covid19 does to your hair. Please take this seriously. #WearADamnMask #LongHauler pic.twitter.com/H0wCmzYswV
— Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) August 9, 2020
This is why your college football is being taken away.
And no, Tucker, the media wasn’t mad about Sturgis because the attendees are “too masculine,” you mouth-breathing idiot. Quick question, buddy: Where are you filming your show right now? Are you back in the studio yet?
Black Lives Matter
Oprah Winfrey put up 26 billboards around Louisville, KY demanding justice for Breonna Taylor. It’s been 151 days since the police murdered her in her home.
Mike Johnson — the man who SHOULD have been the Bachelor last season, speaks out about the show’s history with diversity and calls it “atrocious.” INDEED.
And Zoë Kravitz has some feelings about Hulu’s lack of diversity on the other side of High Fidelity being canceled.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta‘s Porsha Williams is a powerful — if unexpected — protest voice. The granddaughter of a Civil Rights figure, her story is beautiful. I started quoting the article here, but realized I was just copying the whole damn thing — you should read it for yourself.
E. Jean Carroll’s defamation case against President Rapey can move forward and he has been ordered to submit a DNA sample by September 15.
See you in court, @realDonaldTrump!https://t.co/kJX4fBmbCK
— E. Jean Carroll (@ejeancarroll) August 7, 2020
Joe Biden is about to announce his Vice Presidential candidate (Hell, he might have already done so by the time I publish this), and all we know for certain is that she will be a woman. And the media, they are behaving exactly as expected. “It’s ‘The Bachelor: Campaign Trail.” Really, L.A. Times? FOR REAL?
Reducing female political figures —many (all?) of whom have advanced degrees, all of whom have dedicated their lives to public service—to what is essentially a beauty contest is beyond offensive.
— maria (@logicBFF) August 8, 2020
In fact, right now would be a GREAT time for all media institutions to think long and hard about their editorial practices and how to NOT be a bunch of sexist shitheads in regards to the V.P. pick.
“Women have been subject to stereotypes and tropes about qualifications, leadership, looks, relationships, and experience. Those stereotypes are often amplified and weaponized for Black and Brown women. Attempts at legitimate investigations of a candidate have repeatedly turned into misguided stories that perpetuate impressions of women as inadequate leaders, and Black and Brown women as worse.”
Paul Telegdy has been fired at NBC. The former Entertainment chairman had been accused of ALL SORTS of terrible behavior, including misogynistic and homophobic statements. Adios, asshole.
Goddammit, Dave Chappelle. LOOK. For the one-thousandth time, it is fine for Louis C.K. to announce shows. If people want to give him money and see him perform, that is their choice. What is NOT COOL is springing him on audiences, and not giving them a choice in whether or not they support his comeback efforts.
American Ninja Warrior is editing Drew Dreschel out of the season after being arrested for sex crimes against a child. I should think so.
Grammy-winning music producer Detail, whose real name is Noel Fisher, has been arrested on multiple allegations of sexual assault. Singers Bebe Rexha and Tinashe are among a number of women who have accused him of inappropriate behavior.
- Bel-Air, a dramatic reboot of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, is being developed
- A Three Men and a Baby remake starring Zac Efron is in the works at Disney+.
- Carla Hall has signed a deal with Food Network.
- Martin Scorsese has signed a first-look deal with Apple TV+.
- We Are Who We Are has been picked up by BBC Three.
- Adria Arjona has been cast in the Rogue One spinoff series at Disney+.
Mark Your Calendars
- A.P. Bio debuts on Peacock on September 3, HOORAY!
- Saved by the Bell will debut on Peacock soon.
- The Dan Patrick Show will debut on Peacock on August 24.
Raymond Allen, Actor best known for his role on Sanford and Son
Kurt Luedtke, Oscar-winning screenwriter
America’s Got Talent: Eleven acts go live (from their homes or something) and compete for America’s votes. 7 p.m., NBC
Hard Knocks: Los Angeles: This season will follow the Rams and the Chargers as they prepare for the weirdest NFL season ever. 9 p.m., HBO
Greenleaf: Series finale. But no worries: a spinoff is coming. 8 p.m., OWN
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Orlando Bloom, Cecily Strong, Trey Anastasio
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Jim Parsons, Sarah Snook, Yiyun Li
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Laura Linney
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Jamie Lee Curtis, JJ Redick, Alexander 23
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Ben Stiller, Holly Humberstone, guest host Sarah Cooper
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Watch What Happens Live: Luke Bryan, Willie Geist
|Primetime: What Would You Do?
|FBI: Most Wanted
|Tell Me a Story
|NBC||America’s Got Talent
|World of Dance