Everyone at Fox News needs to TAKE A SEAT.

Hi, and welcome to Wednesday. To help you with this stressful time, here are two very calm cats with lettuce on their heads. I’m not convinced they haven’t been drugged, but I can’t prove anything, so:

So, The Sex-Offender-in-Chief gave his first coronavirus briefing yesterday, believing that what the people want is more of him on their teevees. (Note: this is not what the people want.) And while he also said a lot of his typical bullshit about the virus going away, he did encourage people to wear masks. Which FUCKING FINALLY.

But the biggest takeaway from the briefing was when a reporter asked him about sex monster Ghislaine Maxwell. Instead of responding with something a normal president would say, like, “If she is proven to be guilty, I hope her victims receive justice,” or even, “Everyone in this country is innocent until proven guilty” — which would be weird but accurate, this weirdo sent her his greetings: “I haven’t really been following it too much. I just wish her well, frankly. I’ve met her numerous times over the years, especially since I lived in Palm Beach, and I guess they lived in Palm Beach. But I wish her well, whatever it is.”

And that’s bad and weird and a lot of people are suggesting all sorts of things like he’s sending her a signal to not spill on him or that he’s going to pardon her or WHATEVER.

But as bad as it is that the President of the United States would wish an accused pedophile “well,” what’s worse is defending such a thing, which is what Fox News’ Geraldo Rivera did:


Meanwhile, Tucker Carlson, fresh from a little Fox News-enforced time out, spent time on his show rehashing a bullshit thing that did not actually happen during a White House press briefing.

SO HERE’S WHAT (DIDN’T) HAPPEN: During the briefing, Al Jazeera reporter Kimberly Halkett asked Kayleigh McEnany a question which McEnany didn’t answer, and Halkett replied, “you don’t want to engage.” But some people thought she said, “you’re a lying bitch.”

And Carlson, despite this controversy already being settled, went ahead and spent time on his show explaining that while Halkett didn‘t call McEnany a “lying bitch,” it’s conceivable that she COULD HAVE. Of course, lots of things could have happened at the White House press briefing: McEnany could have knocked over the podium and thrown her shoes at the reporters, President Dingaling could have come out and peed on the flag, McEnany could have spent the entire time at the podium talking about the actual and very real sexual harassment allegations against Tucker Carlson. But none of those things DID happen and that’s why they weren’t covered because we don’t do stories about things we feel COULD happen, Tucker. That’s called “fake news.” For the thousandth fucking time, your feelings aren’t facts.

By the way, I can’t help but think that this whole stink has something to do with the fact that on Monday, a Florida Republican Congressman, Ted Yoho, got into an argument with Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on the steps of the Capitol, calling her disgusting and a “fucking bitch.” This actually DID happen (Yoho made a non-apology “apology” on the floor of Congress today, refusing to apologize for his “passion”), and I think the right is feeling ashamed, and looking for a way to make this a both sides issue. But also, shut the fuck up, Tucker.

Also, Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson had a little lover’s spat during the hand-off between the two shows over Jeff Bezos and the fact that he made $13 billion in ONE DAY during this pandemic. Hannity is sorry for snapping at Tucker, so don’t worry, they’ve kissed and made up.

Alonzo Brooks’ body has been exhumed following the story of his death/murder being explored on Unsolved Mysteries. Good.

A defamation lawsuit against Billions has been dismissed.

This is a public message: you can binge old 90s episodes of Supermarket Sweep on Netflix.

Going Viral

The MLB has released their shortened schedule for the 2020 season. Good luck and God bless.

Peacock has launched a Road to Tokyo channel one year ahead of the start of the 2021 Tokyo Olympics — assuming there will be a 2021 Olympics. Here’s to hoping!

NBC Sports is going to air tons of hockey between August 1-5 to make up for the postponement of the season thanks to lockdown.

The Wendy Williams Show will return to the studio on September 12.

The Great British Bake Off has been back in production for two weeks now and anticipates returning to British TV sometime this year.

Sky Studios is planning for shows to go back into production beginning in September, but they are making contingency plans in the event they have to go back into lockdown, including writing exit strategies into scripts.

Fans have set up a shrine to Comic-Con in San Diego ahead of the start of the virtual event that begins with some panels today.

Reminder: all Comic-Con panels are free for everyone to watch from home this year.

Anna Camp revealed that she had COVID-19 and that a month later she’s still recovering.

View this post on Instagram

Hi friends… I felt it was my responsibility to share that I ended up getting Covid-19. I have since tested negative, but I was extremely sick for over three weeks and still have lingering symptoms. I was incredibly safe. I wore a mask. I used hand sanitizer. One time, when the world was starting to open up, I decided to forgo wearing my mask in public. One. Time. And I ended up getting it. I believe it may have been because of that one time. People are saying it’s like having the flu, but I’ve had the flu, and this is absolutely not that. The panic of contracting a virus that is basically untreatable and is so new that no one knows the long term irreparable damage it does to your immune system is unbelievably stressful. Completely losing my sense of smell and taste without knowing when or even if they will return is extremely disorienting. I’m only smelling about 30 percent of how I used to now. Other persistent symptoms are (a month later) dizziness, extreme fatigue, impacted sinuses, upset stomach, nausea, vomiting, and fever. I’m lucky. Because I didn’t die. But people are. Please wear ur mask. It can happen any time. And it can happen to anyone. Even that one time you feel safe. We can all make a difference. Wearing a mask is saving lives. Thank you to everyone who reached out to check on me during this scary time. Please be safe out there. Let’s all do our part and wear a mask. I don’t want any of you to go through what I did. Even though it’s a little thing, it can have a huge impact, and it’s so incredibly easy to do❤️

A post shared by Anna Camp (@therealannacamp) on

95 NFL players have tested positive since the league began testing.

I hadn’t considered this, but there are also reporters in the NBA’s quarantine bubble who are required to be tested every day, too.

Could Tenet‘s release — whenever that is — mark a change in how all movies are opened from here on out? Maybe.

Black Lives Matter

Select episodes of The Good Fight tackling racial issues and other social ills will air on BET next week on Monday and Tuesday.

Unsaid Stories… a series of four dramas inspired by the Black Lives Matter movement is in development at ITV.

The animation and voice-over world is wrestling with how to deal with white actors voicing characters of color.

Other areas that need work: hair and makeup.


In Development

  • There are rumors that Donald Glover is going to star in a Lando Calrissian series on Disney+, guys.

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Hitmen will debut on Peacock on August 6.
  • Don’t Look Deeper will premiere on Quibi on July 27.
  • Biohacker will debut on Netflix on August 20.
  • Sam Jay: 3 in the Morning will debut on Netflix on August 4.
  • Anelka: Misunderstood will debut on Netflix on August 5.
  • Anything Is Possible – The Serge Ibaka Story will debut on Crackle on August 1.


Daisha Riley, A producer on Good Morning America

Michael Franklin, Executive who used to head the Directors Guild of America and the Writers Guild of America


Corporate: The final season begins with Hampton DeVille attempting to rewrite the finale of a beloved children’s show. Season premiere. 9:30 p.m., Comedy Central

Fear City: New York vs. the Mafia: This docuseries explores the investigation and prosecution of the five mob families in the 1980s. Series premiere. Netflix

Love on the Spectrum: This new series takes a look at the challenges young people on the spectrum have in the world of dating. Series premiere. Netflix

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Cameron Diaz, Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms, Kygo featuring OneRepublic
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Amy Sedaris, Nikki Glaspie
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Mary Trump, Kristen Bell
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Willie Nelson, guest host George Lopez
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
  • Conan: Jim Gaffigan
  • Watch What Happens Live: Maren Morris, Dorit Kemsley

WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC United We Fall
The Goldbergs
The Conners
American Housewife
Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
CBS Tough As Nails
Game On!
CW The 100
FOX MasterChef/b>
Ultimate Tag
NBC Chicago Med
Chicago Fire
Chicago P.D.

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