Here is Carl Reiner’s final, perfect performance if you’re looking for a good cry.

It’s another Friday. Our country is being torn apart by a lunatic who is desperate to flare up culture wars so we won’t talk about his failures at containing a pandemic that is racing through our country or the fact that the Russians are putting bounties on our soldiers’ heads and he did nothing about it (remember that?) or that the Supreme Court is making him hand over his mysterious tax returns. Our states (or at least MY state) desperate to suck up to said lunatic are demanding that we send our children into schools in a month so as to more effectively distribute coronavirus to our teachers, administrators, staffers, parents, and grandparents. The death toll is surging back to April numbers and 136,000 Americans are dead (and at the current rate, we’ll hit 150,000 in about two weeks) and we are running out of morgue space, but hey! The President claims he passed a cognitive test at some point, surprising even the doctors!

I’M JUST GOING TO SPEND THE WEEKEND SCREAMING INTO THE HEATWAVE, CHECK BACK WITH ME ON MONDAY.

The networks are already accusing Nielsen of screwing them over in the fall. It’s a very specific issue: basically, networks are mad that Nielsen refuses to count “out-of-home” viewing in their overall numbers: those people who might have watched a show in a hotel, someone else’s home, at a bar … wherever. Nielsen is like, “I mean, OK, but everyone is staying home because of COVID, so why would we bother?” But especially BECAUSE of the pandemic, the networks are desperate for good numbers as advertisers are pulling way back on spending.

Card Sharks has returned to filming. Good luck, guys!

NBA Countdown presented by Mountain Dew: NBA Restart will premiere on ABC on July 25 and I wish I had made up that title because it is some amazing Idiocracy insanity.

Soooooo: Comic-Con. The convention was set to be held between July 22 – 26 but had to go virtual for now PAINFULLY obvious reasons, but their catastrophe is your windfall, as the convention will be free for anyone to “attend” (read: watch on your computer).

Most of the 300 to 400 panels will be pre-taped, which means no live questions from the fans. However, many shows have been reaching out to fans via social media for questions, so if you want to ask something, you still have a chance. Deadline has been updating a schedule of when panels will be available for those “attending.” You’ll be able to watch any and all of the panels on Comic-con.org once they go live.

A member of the White House Press Corps has tested positive.

The Big Ten conference announced all athletics will be in-conference only. Oh, ok. Good luck with THAT.

I just don’t know what DisneyWorld is possibly thinking.

Sam Raimi and Rob Zombie are working on a contained horror film together so that’s pretty rad.

Dr. Fauci says you haven’t seen him on the teevees as much anymore because he speaks too much truth, which is inconvenient for this kakistocracy that we are currently saddled with.

Democrats are trying to figure out whether or not it’s safe to have smaller satellite conventions all over the country, rather than one big centralized one (prolly not but whaddya gonna do?); meanwhile, even Republican bigwigs are balking at attending the GOP convention in Jacksonville and who can possibly blame them?

  1. THIS IS NOT HOW EITHER MATH OR SCIENCE WORKS.
  2. 1/100th? I don’t know, maybe it’s time for another one of those cognitive tests, dude.

As for today, President Babadook is threatening our kids, their schools, and our election:

So, you know. It’s a day that ends in “y.”

Obviously, OBVIOUSLY all of these grifters gobbled up as much PPP moneys they could. And the Catholic Church took in $1.4 BILLION? Sure. Of course they did.

Black Lives Matter

One of the first Black contestants on The Bachelor wrote about her experience and the hideous backlash she faced for being on the show.

This is a long, interesting piece about whether or not pulling down instances of racism in old series is enough or even a good idea. Fascinatingly, although it really shouldn’t have surprised me, in rebranding Splash Mountain, changing it from a Song of the South ride to a Princess and the Frog ride, Disney never explained why they were removing the Song of the South references.

Justin Simien, the creator of Dear White People, is glad you’re finally watching his show, but he wishes it didn’t take a “series of murders, by the state, of black people” to get you there.

And if you’re not watching Dear White People, or other Black stories, here’s why you should be: it’s called the “racial empathy gap,” and it’s time to end it.

Netflix’s Black employees pushed their employer to create and distribute more Black content way back in 2015, and Netflix listened.

In fact, here is some advice from Netflix’s Inclusion VP on how to not be racist:

  1. “Spend the money” and hire a professional on equity and diversity.
  2. Do your own personal work to understand racism.
  3. Hear from new voices and “listen to believe.”
  4. Interrupt bias when you see it; “This is not the time to be a bystander.”

Players on the WNBA team, the Atlanta Dream are NOT HAVING co-owner and senator from Georgia, Kelly Loeffler’s anti-Black Lives Matter BULLSHIT.

All Other TV News

Just when I thought I had fully mourned Carl Reiner’s death, along comes this: his last ever performance, along with his son Rob (the original director of Princess Bride) in Quibi’s Princess Bride project. PREPARE TO CRY:

jojo crying bachelorette

And here is Steve Martin’s heartfelt tribute to Reiner. He was perfect.

According to the critics, these are the best shows of the year. (Watchmen better win errrrrrrrything.)

Here is the show people are most upset about being canceled this year.

OK, HAVE YOU BINGED MY MOST RECENT OBSESSION YET: UNSOLVED MYSTERIES? Here are some updates/pieces about the stories featured:

Walter Mercado works in mysterioso ways.

Idris Elba really wants a Luther movie.

In Watchmen, the destruction of Tulsa in the 1921 Massacre =  the destruction of Krypton. Brilliant.

Now you’re never going to get that Riverdale/Chilling Adventures of Sabrina crossover.

Roswell, New Mexico is getting a new showrunner. Carina Adly MacKenzie announced she is leaving the show.

The new stripper series, P-Valley (which is receiving great reviews, FYI) is directed by only female directors:

Although the playwright-turned-series creator and showrunner (Katori Hall) tells Variety she “did try to hire men,” during interviews she asked, “What is your definition of the female gaze? And I would say 10 times out of 10, the men did not have an answer to that question.”

“And so, knowing that was my goal, to show this world through the eyes of women, I knew that I really had to pick artists and interview directors who were passionate about that and had already started investigating that gaze within their own work, and so naturally, the hiring practice quickly became all-female,” she explains.

The Boys‘ second season will have a companion short film to go along with it.

Demi Lovato says the entertainment business gave her an eating disorder. Next, you’ll be telling me that attending a Trump rally gives you stupid and COVID.

GIVE LOS ESPOOKYS TODOS DE LOS EMMYS.

I don’t care what the Grammys had to say, “Misbehavin'” was THE song of 2019.

The news about Naya Rivera is not positive. My heart goes out to her family and friends.

Renewals

  • Better Things has been renewed at FX for a fifth season.
  • Ramy has been renewed at Hulu for a third season.

In Development

Casting News

  • Oscar Isaac and Michelle Williams are going to star in a six-episode adaptation of Scenes from a Marriage on HBO.
  • Aya Cash is joining the cast of the Fox comedy pilot This Country.
  • Lucy Liu has been cast as the lead in the ABC pilot Bossy. (Working title.)

Mark Your Calendar

  • Woke will debut on Hulu on September 9 and it has strong Sorry to Bother You vibes. Also, it’s great to see the charming Lamorne Morris in something again. Give this man more work!
  • Street Food will return on Netflix on July 21. This is a wonderful, humanizing series, and I highly recommend checking out the first season which is about Asia.
  • Rogue Trip will debut on Disney+ on July 24.
  • Jim Gaffigan: The Pale Tourist will debut on Amazon on July 24.
  • Jack Whitehall: I’m Only Joking will premiere on Netflix on July 21.
  • Tig N’ Seek will debut on HBO Max on July 23.
  • Transformers: War For Cybertron Trilogy will debut on Netflix on July 30.

R.I.P.

Brandis Kemp, aka Sally Blankfield, Actress known for Fridays and AfterM*A*S*H

Alan Donnes, Comedian, producer, writer, and former head of National Lampoon

Ronald Schwary, Oscar-winning producer

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

Palm Springs: OK, Groundhog Day, but what if Andie MacDowell was also experiencing what Bill Murray was is the concept of this movie starring Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti. Premiere. Hulu

Greyhound: Tom Hanks stars in this World War II drama about Captain Ernest Krause, who led an international convoy of supplies to Allied forces. Premiere. Apple TV+

Home Movie: The Princess Bride: It’s the scene-by-scene remake of The Princess Bride by bored celebrities that everyone is so bent out of shape about. Series premiere. Quibi

The Old Guard: Charlize Theron stars in this film about a team of immortal mercenaries. Premiere. Netflix

Little Voice: Sara Bareilles and J.J. Abrams produced this musical romantic comedy. Series premiere. Apple TV+

Greatness Code: Great athletes discuss what makes them great. Great. Premiere. Apple TV+

Down to Earth With Zac Efron: Zac Efron does a travel show. Sure, why not. Series premiere. Netflix

SATURDAY

Hotel Paranormal: It’s another ghost show, but this time it’s 1. about hotels and 2. narrated by Dan Akroyd who is a true believer. Series premiere. 9 p.m., Travel

Crikey! It’s the Irwins: Life in Lockdown: More COVID TV. 8 p.m., Animal Planet

My Cat From Hell: Cat Sh#t Crazy: The cat dude with the goatee and piercings is back to help people deal with their COVID cat situations. I really need real TV to come back. 9 p.m., Animal Planet

SUNDAY

P-Valley: This new drama follows the complicated lives of strippers in the Mississippi Delta. Series premiere. 8 p.m., Starz

Snowpiercer: Layton struggles to govern the survivors in the season finale. 9 p.m., TNT

Hightown: Season finale. 7 p.m., Starz

Late Night:

  • Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Imani Walker, Britten Cole

 

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ABC Shark Tank
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20/20
CBS MacGyver
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Magnum P.I.
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Blue Bloods
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CW Masters of Illusion
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Masters of Illusion
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FOX Friday Night Smackdown Local
NBC The Wall
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Dateline

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The Good Doctor
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CBS NCIS: Los Angeles
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NCIS: New Orleans
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48 Hours News/Local
FOX MLS is Back Tournament
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News/Local
NBC Minions Saturday Night Live
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News/
Local
Saturday Night Live
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SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(repeat)
Celebrity Family Feud
(new)
Press Your Luck
(new)
Match Game
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CBS 60 Minutes 60 Minutes Presents NCIS: Los Angeles
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NCIS: New Orleans
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Penn & Teller: Fool Us
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Bless the Harts
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NBC Cannonball
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