Welcome to Monday! (Honest to God, you guys, I started typing Wednesday. No idea why except that time is broken.)
It’s been a rough few months for our incompetent president: a pandemic hit and instead of leading us through the crisis, he’s tried to pretend it wasn’t happening, leading to ~let me check Worldometer~ 122,381 American deaths; the economy ground to a halt in response to the virus, leading to over 40 million Americans filing for unemployment; protests have erupted around the country over police violence and racial discrimination; and in the polls, President In Over His Orange Head is behind his opponent in the Presidential election by double digits.
To soothe his melting-down ego, President Toddler decided to throw himself a rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma — a mile away from the site of the nation’s worst instance of racial violence — on Juneteenth — a day that celebrates the end of slavery — in a town where the virus is spiking. People called on him to cancel the event both because of the racial insensitivity, but also because maybe cramming tens of thousands of screaming people into an indoor arena ISN’T EXACTLY THE BEST IDEA RIGHT NOW, but the most the campaign would concede was to move the date to June 20.
In the days building up to the event, the campaign began bragging that they had nearly 1 million people reserving tickets to the event — which should have been a red flag right there — and they made arrangements to have a second stage outside set up for the overflow crowd, planning for President Superspreader and Vice President Bleached Flour would also address them.
A clip from a few days ago pic.twitter.com/6hiC0mlbqx
— Acyn Torabi (@Acyn) June 21, 2020
They had to take down the outside stage:
Secret Service has moved crowd back from the overflow stage so it can be broken down. pic.twitter.com/iIxXfnpOPn
— Dave Weigel (@daveweigel) June 20, 2020
Project Lincoln compared the Fail Rally to his limp dick:
— The Lincoln Project (@ProjectLincoln) June 21, 2020
It came out that TikTok teens and K-Pop fans organized to request tickets to the rally in an attempt to limit the crowd (though my 15-year-old son is neither a TikToker nor a K-Pop fan, he did his Gen Z duty by requesting tickets, so I knew this was a thing that was happening). But the campaign claims there was no cap on the number of tickets available and the kids had no effect on the crowd size. This is actually even sadder for the campaign because it means that the tickets for the rally were available, but no one wanted to go. Additionally, the only upside to the campaign giving away 800,000 tickets — all that precious data — was utterly useless.
Then, at the rally, instead of focusing on, you know, the issues of the day, President Emptyrally ranted for 15 minutes about his greatest nemesis, The Ramp:
This is art. pic.twitter.com/ZPJxHu20TV
— The Lincoln Project (@ProjectLincoln) June 21, 2020
I set Trump’s insane Tulsa rally ramp speech to music.
He is not a good lyricist. pic.twitter.com/DOG6LJXzLb
— Josh Radnor (@JoshRadnor) June 22, 2020
He then proved he could drink a glass of water with one hand, and you guys, this was so impressive to the 6,200 people who went to the rally that they began chanting “FOUR MORE YEARS!”
This is a real tweet:
The degenerate left claimed President Trump had health issues after drinking water with 2 hands.
Today he drank with one and tossed the glass to the side! 🤣
GREATEST. PRESIDENT. EVER. pic.twitter.com/0EAGff1Bhb
— DeAnna Lorraine 🇺🇸 (@DeAnna4Congress) June 21, 2020
— Ted Lieu (@tedlieu) June 21, 2020
One hand pic.twitter.com/nrCOW27Yuk
— Henry Winkler (@hwinkler4real) June 22, 2020
Finally, defeated, President Tiny Two Hands returned to the White House:
The Incredible Bulk's incredible sulk.
(sound on) pic.twitter.com/McNKt2FPXs
— Airbag Stay Homents, #RampiFa ombudsperson 🆘 (@airbagmoments) June 21, 2020
All I’m saying is it was a great weekend! You know, aside from all the death and unemployment and our country falling into Goddamned ditch because of white supremacy.
When he wasn’t talking about The Ramp and proving that he can, in fact, drink water with one hand, President Fail told the few dozen audience goers in Tulsa that he instructed his people to slow down COVID-19 testing:
“You know testing is a double-edged sword. We have tested now 25 million people. It is probably 20 million people more than anybody else….Here’s the bad part. When you test to that extent, you are going to find more people, find more cases. So I said to my people, ‘Slow the testing down please.’ They test and they test.”
REPORTER: Did you really ask to slow down coronavirus testing?
TRUMP: “If it did slow down, frankly, I think we’re way ahead of ourselves, if you wanna know the truth. We’ve done too good of a job.” pic.twitter.com/zy4LAWcCii
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) June 22, 2020
President Racist also called COVID-19, “Kung Flu” AT THE RALLY. ON CAMERA. And his press secretary is out here lying about it:
Asked why Trump uses racist terms like “Kung Flu,” McEnany says “the president doesn’t.” (Trump did use that term at the rally).
— Jim Acosta (@Acosta) June 22, 2020
In March, after being told a WH official said "kung flu," Kellyanne Conway said wasn't true:
“I don’t know how these conversations go and that’s highly offensive. So, you should tell us all who it is. I’d like to know who it is.”
President Trump just referred to "kung flu"
— Edward-Isaac Dovere (@IsaacDovere) June 21, 2020
By the way, six of President Death Rally’s advance team tested positive in Tulsa. But that’s no reason to continue taking people’s temperature at the White House, right?
The White House has stopped conducting mandatory temperature checks for all staffers and visitors entering the grounds, removing another layer of safeguards put in place after two officials became ill with the coronavirus last month. https://t.co/qtRTgERBcG
— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) June 22, 2020
I’m dusting off my lute and quill,
I have some news, some mead to spill:
After all the months we’ve been apart
It’s time for production to restart.
The Witcher and his bard – who’s flawless,
Will reunite on set 17 August.
— The Witcher (@witchernetflix) June 22, 2020
D.L. Hughley collapsed on stage this weekend and was taken to the hospital where he tested positive for Coronavirus. He’s been released from the hospital and is quarantining. Also, Y’ALL. DO NOT BE GOING TO COMEDY CLUBS RIGHT NOW. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR BRAINS?
— ABC News (@ABC) June 21, 2020
The Phillies, Giants, and Blue Jays all shut down their training camps in Clearwater after employees tested positive. Meanwhile, the University of Houston canceled workouts, Alabama, Auburn, Florida State, and several other teams have reported players who are positive and one-quarter of the LSU football team has tested positive. A FOURTH. I just want you all to be emotionally prepared when there is no football this fall. Because I worry you are not emotionally prepared for when there is no football this fall.
But hey: Disneyland Paris is opening back up, so.
Black Lives Matter
Lonnie Chavis, the 12-year-old actor who plays Young Randall on This Is Us, wrote a powerful and heartbreaking essay for People about the racism and fear he has faced in his young life. Please read the whole thing.
I also remember being invited to events but then being treated very poorly by security or entrance checkers, like I wasn’t supposed to be there, until I had a publicist to announce me. I think of going to Hollywood events with other actors and actresses where I was constantly asked if I’m the boy from Black-ish or the boy from Stranger Things. I guess we all look alike since we are all Black. Can you imagine being confused for any other Black kid just because you all share the same profession? I can.
I can recall a time on set when I started crying listening to an actor portray a racist grandmother toward my character. The director and writers told me that they didn’t need me to cry for the scene. However, it was hard for me not to cry as I witnessed what I had just learned was my reality. I wasn’t acting, I was crying for me. Can you imagine having to explain to a room full of white people why I couldn’t hold back my real tears while experiencing the pain of racism? I can.
Some asshole left a noose in NASCAR’s Bubba Wallace’s team garage. This is infuriating, but I hope it opens the eyes of other NASCAR fans who don’t think the Confederate flag is that big of a deal.
— Bubba Wallace (@BubbaWallace) June 22, 2020
Taking the Stage: African American Music and Stories That Changed America will be rebroadcast on ABC on Wednesday.
The Chris D’Elia story continues to unfold as more and more women come forward with evidence he was gross with them when they were teenagers, and as it continues, a number of female comedians are coming forward to talk about the abuse and sexism they have faced in the industry, making A BUNCH of comedy dudes super uncomfortable.
But first, D’Elia: Comedy Central, Hulu, and Amazon have all pulled an episode of Workaholics in which D’Elia plays a child molester. It is going to be much more difficult for Netflix to navigate what to do with You considering his role as SPOILER ALERT a pedophile.
D’Elia’s co-star and friend, Whitney Cummings has finally spoken out:
— Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) June 20, 2020
Take her statement with a grain of salt.
After seeing Whitney’s post, this deeply disturbs me. This is not the first message I have received telling me that these people were aware and involved. #chrisdelia #whitneycummings #markhayes #michaellenoci #bryancallen pic.twitter.com/65YrrKwJl3
— ChrisDeliaMeToo (@chrisdeliametoo) June 20, 2020
Meanwhile, some cringey videos of D’Elia coming out, including in this one when he learns that Snapchat images can, actually, be saved:
“But hold on…. I thought snapchats went away?” 😭😂😂 pic.twitter.com/M2b4XHPCks
— briff ✨ (@BRlFFGRAFF) June 20, 2020
And these two in which his jokes about teen girls make you want to crawl out of our skin:
— Beano (@dean54263911) June 18, 2020
— Ryan Norton (@1thouwildfunky) June 18, 2020
Meanwhile, Joe Rogan is rightfully coming under fire for this old clip in which he laughs and claps while one of his friends, Joey “Coco” Diaz, brags about not allowing female comedians to take the stage unless they gave him a blowjob:
In this clip, one of Rogan's best friends @madflavor admits to not letting female comedians stage time unless they gave him a blowjob. If you are one of the girls, please speak up, now's the time. 3/7 pic.twitter.com/oNsj2GBQGp
— tem (@ChemicalMishap) June 17, 2020
Unsurprisingly, Rogan’s fans are swarming to defend him, but watch the clip: this isn’t defensible.
— Amy Schumer (@amyschumer) June 21, 2020
If you’re a male comedian one thing you can do is tell men to shut the fuck up when they are saying hateful shit about women. & not go on podcasts that are racist & sexist you can also speak up for women getting attacked online for sticking up for themselves. Or….total silence.
— Chelsea Peretti (@chelseaperetti) June 21, 2020
I’m fucking sick of male comedians saying “What do you want me to do, he’s my friend!” I am done giving you guys the benefit of the doubt. Truly.
— Taylor Tomlinson (@taylortomlinson) June 22, 2020
This is @Daniel_Sloss HBO special X. He does a 15 minute story on his friend who was raped. Since many good guy male comics are ignoring me & all your female identified comedy friends who have been tweeting for days & SCREAMING about rape culture for YEARS can you listen to him? pic.twitter.com/V2wUyIQf6g
— JEN KIRKMAN (@JenKirkman) June 21, 2020
But comedians aren’t the only ones in trouble right now. The wrestling world is going through a bit of a reckoning right now. Wrestler Jack Gallagher has been released from his WWE contract, and wrestlers Matt Riddle and Jordan Devlin have been accused of sexual abuse. Women are using the #SpeakingOut hashtag to share their stories in the industry.
Imagine wrestling without all of the amazing and talented women brave enough to try. We hear you, we see you, we love you, and we are here for you. When comfortable and on your own time, please keep #SpeakingOut You are helping to change the world 🖤
— LIV Morgan (@YaOnlyLivvOnce) June 19, 2020
I’m only just catching up properly with social media and wow. Seeing so many of you speaking out against these disgusting humans makes me so sad to see your experiences but proud of you for telling your story. Keep using your voice. We love you and have your back ❤️ #SpeakingOut
— PAIGE (@RealPaigeWWE) June 19, 2020
I’ve been in the wrestling business since I was 18. I, like so many others, have been in situations where I felt I had no voice and was forced to bury it so deep that I never have to think about it again. #SpeakingOut
— The Bunny 🐇 (@AllieWrestling) June 19, 2020
And then there are the super famous dudes: A woman has accused Baby Driver star Ansel Elgort of sexually assaulting her when she was 17-years old. He denies her allegations.
Finally, Cole Sprouse and the entire cast of Riverdale were accused of sexual assault in a bizarre series of tweets that seemed to be specifically designed to undermine other sexual assault allegations and the campaign to believe women.
She was raped and abused by Vanessa Morgan, Lili Reinhart and KJ Apa, all of them part of the Riverdale Cast, minutes later, she said that it was a joke and she was just messing to prove Cole’s innocence. The IP address of the tweets (+) pic.twitter.com/2khcnRKkes
— anto | hws (@sprousecabello) June 21, 2020
I’m so tired, you guys.
All Other TV News
Last week, Twitter marked a fake CNN video of two toddlers that President Dementia tweeted as “manipulated media.” Over the weekend, they and Facebook both took down the video in response to a copyright claim by the toddlers’ parents:
“We are appalled at the use of children to draw attention to President Trump and the so-called ‘fake media,’” Ven Johnson, a Detroit-based attorney representing the parents, said. “We are equally distraught by the President’s endorsement of the blatant attempt at racism and mockery of American journalism. Our clients are speaking out against this offensive behavior and investigating all legal options regarding the unauthorized use and manipulation of this video.”
Jimmy Kimmel announced that he was taking a couple of months off to spend time with his family. Reminder: Kimmel’s young son has a serious heart condition. Now, watch this asshole on Fox News’ The Greg Gutfeld Show:
The king of Netflix content is not who you might think it is. Interestingly, none of his series are included on this list of best mystery and crime dramas, but maybe they should be?
Uh-oh, actors: y’all’s real ages can be posted on IMDb after all, and it’s unconstitutional for you to demand they be taken down.
Revry, the first LGBTQ+ virtual cable network, has launched in time for Pride.
- Netflix is making a deal to get the rights to Aaron Sorkin’s The Trial Of The Chicago 7.
- Sharper, a film starring Julianne Moore, will be coming to Apple TV+.
- There is a Spanish-language series based on The Others in the works. I would like to see that, please.
Mark Your Calendar
- Hamilton comes to Disney+ on July 3.
- Lucifer will return on Netflix on August 21.
- The 26th Annual Critics’ Choice Awards will air on The CW on March 7.
Joel Schumacher, Director of The Lost Boys, St. Elmo’s Fire, and some Batman movies.
Alan Metter, Director of Back to School, Girls Just Want to Have Fun and many Olivia Newton-John projects
Penn & Teller: Fool Us: MAGIC! Except not. Hey, when did Alyson Hannigan join the team? Anyone know? Season premiere. 8 p.m., The CW
I May Destroy You: Just a heads up that this series has moved to Monday nights and that Michaela Cole is terrific. 8 p.m., HBO
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Will Ferrell, John Legend
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Jason Sudeikis, Mike O’Brien
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: James Corden, Ibram X. Kendi, Bright Eyes
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Lena Waithe, Raleigh Ritchie
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Watch What Happens Live: Hannah Ferrier, Jessica More
|ABC||The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart
|Bob Hearts Abishola
|CW||Whose Line is it Anyway?
|Whose Line is it Anyway?
|Penn & Teller: Fool Us
|9-1-1: Lone Star
|NBC||The Titan Games