R.I.P. Cliffhangers: Covid-19 is now killing season finales.

by Therese Odell, posted in Uncategorized

Going Viral

I know it’s hardly the most important thing going on right now, but this virus is doing a real number on the TV business. Today it was announced that Genius: Aretha will delay its premiere until … later, because they can’t film the final episodes. Elsewhere, The Walking Dead and Supernatural‘s finales are on hold, and three network series (as of right now) are ending several episodes early rather than postpone the season. Check out the gallery here for the finale dates that we know so far.

HBO tried to avoid delaying Succession and Barry, but eventually had to push back production when it became clear that there is no end in sight for this thing.

My 600-Lb. Life only stopped filming last week. TOOK Y’ALL LONG ENOUGH.

But in good news, Andy Cohen is feeling much better and will go forward with hosting Watch What Happens Live! from his home tonight.  The Talk will resume taping with hosts at home, as will The Kelly Clarkson Show and Tamron Hall.

And if you’re interested, The New York Times reports on how TV personalities and news reporters are doing their jobs from home.

In sad news, Maria Mercader, a veteran CBS News staffer, died from coronavirus-related complications.

Joe Diffie, a country musician, died at 61 from complications.

Alan Merrill, the co-writer of “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll” died at 69 of Covid-19-related complications.

Ken Shimura, called the “Robin Williams of Japan” has died of the virus at 70.

Princess Maria Teresa, a member of the Spanish royal family, has died of the virus. She was 89.

John Prine, legendary country and folk singer-songwriter, is hospitalized and in critical condition with Covid-19.

Plácido Domingo is hospitalized in Mexico and is reportedly doing well.

Houston’s own Scarface tested positive and tells fans that he felt like he was going to die. “Don’t play no games with it,” he warned. “I haven’t been nowhere. I’ve been in my house. I ain’t been on no planes, I ain’t been in no restaurants… People out there thinking this shit is a game? You don’t want to play with this.”

And Houston news legend, Dave Ward, tweets that his wife is suffering from double pneumonia from Covid-19:

New York Knicks owner James Dolan has tested positive.

And one of Queen Elizabeth’s footmen — who apparently has no name — has tested positive.

This happened on Saturday, and it was glorious:

the simpsons technical difficulties drunk

Somewhere, Cecily Strong is watching this over and over again and taking notes.

cecily strong jeanine pirro spit take snl weekend update

And over at Fox Business News, Trish Regan, Ms. “This is Just the Democrats Trying to Impeach the President and Nothing More” is officially fired. Oh good! If we’re firing people who spread unfounded conspiracy theories, can we do Sean Hannity next?

More things that have been canceled:

Ugh, fine. Let’s talk politics.

President Bumblefuck is a lying liar who lies ALL THE TIME. ~deep breath~ It’s just that we just survived a weekend — and weekends are now 87 days long — so he had plenty of time to do stupid shit and he absolutely took full and complete advantage.

First, he announced that he was considering putting a quarantine on New York City and the surrounding areas — you know, the biggest city in the country — before declaring that it wouldn’t be necessary. Why? Oh, who knows. Because he has no actual filter and doesn’t think through the consequences of his words? To stoke a little chaos in what has been so far a perfectly batshit insane situation? WHO CAN SAY.

Then, before tweeting something completely crazy about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle (more on that later) he went on a Twitter rant, attacking the media before bragging about the ratings for his press conferences:

Meanwhile, Dr. Fauci went on the Sunday shows and said that we are looking at 100,000 to 200,000 dead from this thing. So what did President Bumblefuck do? He didn’t deny it (remarkably), but instead EMBRACED IT, insisting that if 100,000 people die, “we will have done a great job.”

I am old enough to remember when Bumblefuck said that our numbers of people with the virus would be “close to zero” very soon.

At this same press conference, Bumblefuck accused doctors and nurses of stealing PPE.

what-the-fuck-veep

Oh, and apparently, that Easter deadline for flipping the “on” switch for the country has been pushed back a bit. We are now expected to keep doing this social distancing thing through (at least) April 30. Which, hey! At least some of the scientists are getting through the spray tan clogging his ears, that’s something, I guess.

At this same press conference, the terrific PBS reporter Yamiche Alcindor asked Bumblefuck about his comments to Sean Hannity regarding ventilators — and I quote: “I don’t believe you need 40,000 or 30,000 ventilators. You know, you go into major hospitals sometimes they’ll have two ventilators, and now all of a sudden they’re saying, ‘Can we order 30,000 ventilators?’” He did not care for having his own words thrown in his face and had a complete tantrum, lied that he didn’t say it, insulted her, ordered her to be “nice” and not “threatening.”

And then there is this actual piece of shit:

HEY, MARCO. The journalists you’re accusing of delighting in Coronavirus have lost friends to it. You can fuck right the fuck off.

But back to Bumblefuck: he also did an interview with Fox & Friends this morning where he hinted that he might lift the sanctions on Russia soon (WELL, TERRIFIC) and he also said this:

tick tock motherfucker john oliver trump

OK, this is very sweet. AND IF IT ISN’T REAL I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT:

 

Finally, we’re going to try to leave on a good note:

Apple has launched an app where you can check your symptoms.

Variety is setting up a relief fund to help the neediest during this crisis.

His Dark Materials costume folks are making scrubs for U.K. doctors.

Bob Iger is giving up his salary and other Disney executives are taking a pay cut to try to stave off layoffs.

We have a new date for the Tokyo Olympics: July 23, 2021.

And trust me, you need to read this article about an astrophysicist who, like an overgrown toddler, got some magnets stuck up his nose. Every line is better than the next. I promise it will be the highlight of your day.

When I first started writing about this virus, I once mistakenly called it “Corvid-19” instead of “Covid-19” and anyway, here’s an actual corvid fucking around with a cat (via BoingBoing):

All Other TV News

J.J. Abrams is a fan of my two favorite comedies: Atlanta and Fleabag. Go figure.

Insecure is being turned into a mobile game? Sure. Why the hell not.

Oh, what do you know, but Disney+ is considering adding more mature programming after all. They sent a survey to some subscribers to gauge their interest in shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, How I Met Your Mother, Firefly, Modern Family, black-ish, and Malcolm in the Middle … so. If it happens, you have Lizzie McGuire to thank.

The Real Housewives of New York returns this week. Here are some of the cast members’ favorite episodes.

Cardi B is starting a GoFundMe page for Joe Exotic is maybe the most 2020 thing I’ve ever typed so far.

Oh wait, maybe, “Here’s how Britney Spears is connected to Doc Antle” is the most 2020 thing I’ve ever typed:

View this post on Instagram

Call the police.

A post shared by Evan Ross Katz (@evanrosskatz) on

I know there are a lot of you out there who are missing March Madness right now. I hope this Tiger King bracket my pal Jason sent me might help get you through this difficult time:

Dax Shepard wants to be your Joe Exotic, others think it should be David Spade, still others think Danny McBride, but I still think Michael Keaton is brilliant casting.

Absolutely not:

Bachelor Ben Higgins is getting married to someone who is not Bachelor-affiliated. Good for him!

Things the President of the United States is spending his time worrying about during a global pandemic that is killing hundreds of Americans every day: the cost to the United States to protect Harry and Meghan though there is exactly no evidence that they ever asked for such a thing. Meanwhile, our tax dollars continue being spent on protecting Dummy, Jr., so, you know.

Renewals

  • Locke & Key has been renewed for a second season at Netflix.

In Development

Casting News

  • Sue Perkins will host the Netflix travel show Perfectly Legal.
  • Ben Bland will host Around the World on Quibi.

Mark Your Calendar

  • Future Man will return on Hulu for its final season on April 3.
  • Brews Brothers will debut on Netflix on Apri 10.
  • Dishmantled will premiere on QUibi on April 6.

R.I.P.

John Callahan, All My Children and Santa Barbara actor

David Schramm, Wings actor

Matthew Faber, Actor in a number of 90s films

Krzysztof Penderecki, Composer for The Exorcist and The Shining

Jim Houston, Oscar-winner and engineer

Odin, The first dog to play Summer in Game of Thrones

WATCH THIS

ABC News Special: America Rising: Fighting the Pandemic: The ABC News team brings us more information about the Covid-19 pandemic in case you haven’t been hearing enough about it already. 8 p.m., ABC

Homefest: James Corden’s Late Late Show Special: Corden hosts a “unique” primetime special — bringing people together to keep them apart. 9 p.m., CBS

The Good Doctor: “In the second episode of the two-part finale, our doctors work against time and their own personal safety to save the lives of those around them.” TOO REAL, THE GOOD DOCTOR. Too real. Season finale. 9 p.m., ABC

Whose Line is it Anyway?: Amber Riley guest stars in the season premiere. 7 p.m., The CW

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Kim Kardashian West, Jon Bon Jovi, OneRepublic
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Sen. Bernie Sanders
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Stephen Colbert from home
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Tracy Morgan, Lizzo
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show with Trevor Noah
  • Conan: Adam Sandler
  • Watch What Happens Live: WWHL @ Home
  • A Little Late with Lily Singh: Tyra Banks

 

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Celebrity Family Feud
(repeat)		 America Rising: Fighting the Pandemic The Good Doctor
(new)
CBS The Neighbor-hood
(repeat)		 Bob Hearts Abishola
(repeat)		 The Neighbor-hood
(repeat)		 The Neighbor-hood
(repeat)		 Homefest: Corden’s Late Late Show Special
(new)
CW Whose Line is it Anyway?
(new)		 Whose Line is it Anyway?
(repeat)		 Roswell, New Mexico
(new)		 Local
FOX 9-1-1
(new)		 Prodigal Son
(new)		 News/Local
NBC The Voice
(new)		 Manifest
(new)

Leave a Reply