Tonight is the State of the Union, and for the first time I can remember, I am leaning hard towards not watching. Maybe I’ll catch up on Netflix instead. I just don’t see the point in watching. While I’ve been able to maintain my inner peace during the Yam Sham, it would sorely be tested if I had to watch his giant yam head bragging about killing people, banning more brown folks from entering our country, and building a wall that falls over in a breeze.
Instead, maybe I’ll just watch this video on repeat. That, or watch The Circle.
Ferlinghetti’s poem is based on the Kahlil Gibran poem, “Pity the Nation,” which is also very fitting:
“Pity the nation that is full of beliefs and empty of religion.
Pity the nation that wears a cloth it does not weave
and eats a bread it does not harvest.
Pity the nation that acclaims the bully as hero,
and that deems the glittering conqueror bountiful.
Pity a nation that despises a passion in its dream,
yet submits in its awakening.
Pity the nation that raises not its voice
save when it walks in a funeral,
boasts not except among its ruins,
and will rebel not save when its neck is laid
between the sword and the block.
Pity the nation whose statesman is a fox,
whose philosopher is a juggler,
and whose art is the art of patching and mimicking
Pity the nation that welcomes its new ruler with trumpeting,
and farewells him with hooting,
only to welcome another with trumpeting again.
Pity the nation whose sages are dumb with years
and whose strongmen are yet in the cradle.
Pity the nation divided into fragments,
each fragment deeming itself a nation.”
Oh, and President FAKE NEWS has banned CNN anchors from an annual pre-State of the Union lunch that the President has with broadcast and network anchors. Cool. This comes on the heels of Mike Pompeo kicking an NPR reporter off of the State Department plane and the Trump campaign blocking a Bloomberg reporter from covering an event. This is not moving in a good direction, guys.
And this is merely TV-adjacent, but here is a video of President Nitwit while the National Anthem was playing at the Super Bowl and I NEVER WANT TO HEAR THIS ASSHOLE COMPLAIN ABOUT ANYONE DISRESPECTING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM OR THE FLAG EVER AGAIN.
NOT EVER.
While we are speaking of politics, what the fuck, Iowa? What the fuck are you guys even doing over there?
10.3 million people watched Sean Hannity’s interview with President Dingus — Hannity’s highest numbers yet — and 26 million people watched Tyler Perry’s Netflix movie, A Fall from Grace, which has been described as “Tommy Wiseau-esque” (you should read this hilarious review of it) and I don’t know, guys, maybe we should unplug the country and plug it back in again or something.
The Oscars are this Sunday. You can’t stream everything that has been nominated for free — yet — but here are a few nominees you can stream if you subscribe to those services, obviously.
Wait … wait, is this a troll or did Robert Kirkman just reveal how the zombie outbreak happened on The Walking Dead?
Space spore.
— Robert Kirkman (@RobertKirkman) January 22, 2020
I would say this is Kirkman just trolling people, but here is an argument that it might be for reals.
The Game of Thrones actors are still being defensive of the end of the series.
For those of you who play The Witcher games, here are 8 things that need to be in season two. And all that grunting in the first season? Unscripted.
Al Franken once wrote an SNL sketch for Al Gore called “Fart Doctor” and it eventually became a recurring joke on 30 Rock. And now you know.
What I’ve watched on Apple TV+ has been pretty entertaining — and I think their mistake was launching within a couple weeks of Disney+’s launch. People only have so much time and emotional bandwidth to invest in entertainment, and they’re always going to choose Baby Yoda over grown-up fare. Them’s the breaks.
China has halted film and TV production across the country in response to the Coronavirus outbreak.
Get better soon, Shannen Doherty!
Rush Limbaugh also has cancer and that’s all I’m going to say about that.
Cancellations
- Spinning Out has been canceled after one season at Netflix.
In Development
- Pieces of Her, a drama based on the novel of the same name, will star Toni Collette and is coming to Netflix.
- On the Record, the documentary about Russell Simmons that Oprah and Apple TV+ backed out of, has found a new home at HBO Max.
- Ways and Means, a political drama starring Patrick Dempsey, has been ordered to pilot at CBS.
- The Great Debate, a show based on a Comic-Con panel, is being developed at Syfy.
- The Southern Book Club’s Guide To Slaying Vampires is being adapted for TV at Amazon.
- A House of Payne reboot is in the works at BET, as well as Assisted Living, a new comedy.
- Coins for Love is being developed at TV One.
- She’s With Me and The Last She are being developed for TV by Sony.
- Elgin James has signed a deal with Fox 21 TV Studios.
Casting News
- J.K. Simmons and Bruce Dern have been added to the cast of Goliath on Amazon.
- Lyle Lovett is going to guest star on Blue Bloods as a Texas Ranger. (Love it.)
- Chris Pratt and Antoine Fuqua are going to star in The Terminal List.
- Mike Colter is joining the cast of Monsterland on Hulu.
- Kiele Sanchez has joined the cast of Lincoln Lawyer on CBS.
- Jorge Lendeborg Jr., Debby Ryan, Lucy Fry, Alfie Allen, and Raúl Castillo will star in Night Teeth on Netflix.
Mark Your Calendars
- Altered Carbon will return on Netflix on February 27.
- When Hope Calls will premiere on Hallmark Channel on February 23.
- Bluebird will debut on CMT on February 19.
- Flipping 101 with Tarek El Moussa will premiere on HGTV on March 5.
- The Green River Killer will air on ID on February 17.
- ThunderCats Roar will debut on Cartoon Network on February 22.
- Spring Baking Championship will return on Food Network on February 9.
- Frankie Drake Mysteries will return on Ovation on April 4.
- Supernanny is moving to Friday nights on February 7. It airs on Lifetime.
WATCH THIS
State of the Union: President Dumbass delivers hopefully his last State of the Union. 8 p.m., ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, PBS, CSPAN, CNN, MSNBC, Fox News
The Flash: Iris’ life is threatened in the winter premiere. 7 p.m., The CW
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: He’s doing it live following the State of the Union address. 10:30 p.m., CBS
Late Night:
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Margot Robbie, Jeff Probst, Mura Masa & slowthai
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Andy Samberg, Ilan Rubin
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Live show following the State of the Union Address
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Al Franken, Paul Reubens, Big Thief
- The Daily Show: Margaret Hoover
- Conan: JB Smoove
- Lights Out with David Spade: Rachel Mac, Randy & Jason Sklar
- Watch What Happens Live: Kyle Cooke, Stassi Schroeder
- A Little Late with Lily Singh: D’Arcy Carden, Ali Kolbert
TUES. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
ABC | The Conners (repeat) |
Bless This Mess (repeat) |
State of the Union Address (live) |
CBS | NCIS (repeat) |
State of the Union Address (live) |
CW | The Flash (new) |
DC’s Legends of Tomorrow (new) |
Local |
FOX | Gordon Ramsay’s 24 Hours to Hell and Back (new) |
State of the Union Address (live) |
NBC | Ellen’s Game of Games (new) |
State of the Union Address (live) |