On the Impeachment Acquittal Day, Nancy Pelosi is a whole mood.

Impeachment Corner!

On this sad, dark day, I’m going to lead with this:

The Senate votes later this afternoon, but we already know the result. This lying, cheating, narcissistic criminal will be acquitted. The one bright point in all of this is that one brave Republican, Mitt Romney, will vote to convict on Article 1 and deny Donald Jinogism Trump the partisan acquittal he so desperately wants. Thank you, Mitt Romney. John McCain is proud of you.

I’m bummed, but remain hopeful that we can fix this in November. Also, I am going to make sure that every single friend of my 18-year-old son is registered to vote. Be sure to check your own registration every so often — don’t put it past these fuckers to try to steal the election one way or another.

As for last night’s State of the Union — and really, the only TV story out there right now — your trusty blogger could not, in fact, bring herself to watch, choosing instead to catch up on The Outsider on HBO (WHICH I CAN NOT RECOMMEND ENOUGH — IT IS SO GOOD AND SCARY AND GOOD).

But from what I have seen and read, President Apprentice put on a reality show SOTU, filled with ridiculous made-for-Maury moments, including awarding a scholarship to a young woman, reuniting a soldier and his wife, using a Tuskegee Airman as a prop, and giving RUSH FUCKING LIMBAUGH the Presidential Medal of Honor for … what? exactly? having cancer? Or was it for being the first person who gave his right-wing listeners permission to be as racist, as sexist, as homophobic, as crude as they wanted to be, and then spread this infection of vulgarity through all corners of the Republican party, leading to the presidency of one Donald Jackhole Trump? Oh … I think I just answered my own question.

His speech was also littered with lies, lies that the Democrats tried to fact-check, as if it even matters. Bless their hearts.

If you’re interested in more fact-checking of the speech, I recommend following Daniel Dale on Twitter: @ddale8. He’s doing God’s work.

But the big news of the SOTU is how after offering President Impeached Forever a handshake and being snubbed, Speaker of the House Nancy Bad Bitch Pelosi closed out the speech by tearing her copy of it into pieces.

Predictably, the political party who sees no problem with a President who calls African and Central American nations “Shithole countries,” who calls his own generals “babies” and “dopes,” who calls white nationalists “good people,” who insults the disabled, women and Gold Star families, who tears babies from their mothers and puts them in cages, who discriminates against gays, transgender people, Muslims, Hispanics, and African-Americans, are OUTRAGED by Pelosi’s discourteousness.

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And I’ve seen people on my side of the political spectrum tsk-ing that it was an immature move, that it is sinking to his level and that we should be above such nonsense. To that I say, President Tweeter has tweeted about Pelosi tearing up his speech FOUR TIMES AS MUCH as he did about his own speech. It got to him, and as a result, he’s talking about her and not about the supposed wins he detailed in his SOTU.

So you tell me who won this round.

Oh, also, the ratings were down. That’s gonna hurt. Good.

In Other TV News

As a transition, we’ll start with this little nugget: When he guest-starred on The Nanny, Donald Jillionaire Trump demanded that his net worth be exaggerated. OF COURSE HE DID.

Good news: authentic portrayal of characters with disabilities and actors with those disabilities being hired has increased on television.

Disney+ not only has impressive subscription numbers, but the bundle with Hulu and ESPN+ raised those streamers’ numbers, too.  (I’ll be honest: this is why I’m a Disney+ subscriber: I already subscribed to Hulu & ESPN+, adding Disney+ for what would essentially be a dollar more a month only made sense to me.)

Did you watch Newlyweds 1,000 years ago? If so, you should be relieved to learn that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey have a healthy relationship and respect for one another. I was never a fan of their music, but I did watch that ding-dong show, and this makes me happy for some reason.

Get to your printer, STAT:


  • Ray Donovan has been canceled at Showtime after seven seasons.

In Development

  • CBS has ordered four comedy pilots: a mother/daughter comedy from the creator of Fam and the Spider-Man: Homecoming writers; The Three of Us an adult sibling comedy; Ghosts, a haunted house comedy; and Please Hold For Frankie Wolfe, a comedy about a businesswoman who is forced to become a foster parent.
  • First Ladies, a drama starring Viola Davis as Michelle Obama, has been ordered to series at Showtime.
  • The WeWork show that is in the works will be helmed by Stephen Falk, the You’re the Worst showrunner.
  • The Fear Index is being developed by the producer of The Crown for Sky.
  • The Naked and the Dead is being turned into a limited series.
  • FaZe Up, a reality competition series, has been ordered at Quibi.
  • A Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares is being turned into a series.

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars


Gene Reynolds, Creator of M*A*S*H and Lou Grant, producer and director

Lucy Jarvis, Pioneering television producer

Charles Wood, Screenwriter and playwright


Stumptown: Dex goes undercover to help with the drug case. 9 p.m., ABC

LEGO Masters: Grown-ups play with LEGOs for money. Series premiere. 8 p.m., Fox

Vikings: INVADE SCANDINAVIA! 9 p.m., History

The Bachelor: I am serious, they are trying to kill me. 7 p.m., ABC

Survivor at 40: I mean, yes, there have been 40 seasons. But it premiered in 2001, so calm down, Beyoncé. 7 p.m., CBS

The Pharmacist: After his son dies, a pharmacist tries to expose the corruption behind the opioid crisis in this documentary that could be a paranoid thriller. Netflix

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Claire Danes, Lana Condor, Lil Wayne
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Ewan McGregor, Rob McElhenney, Erin Jackson, Ilan Rubin
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Jim Carrey, Michael Kiwanuka
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Nick Kroll, Tika Sumpter, Russ
  • The Daily Show: Nikole Hannah-Jones
  • Conan: Diego Luna
  • Lights Out with David Spade: Ron Funches, Jo Koy, Morgan Stewart
  • Watch What Happens Live: Bob Harper, Teresa Giudice
  • A Little Late with Lily Singh: Wendi McLendon-Covey


WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Bachelor
CBS Survivor
Criminal Minds
CW Riverdale
Nancy Drew
FOX The Masked Singer
LEGO Masters
NBC Chicago Med
Chicago Fire
Making It

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