Spend your weekend watching Apple TV+ for free. Sorta. Mostly.

Apple TV+ goes live today, but you can try before you buy: if you use the Apple TV app, you can access the first two episodes of all their shows before being forced to sign up for a 7-day free trial that you will DEFINITELY forget to cancel. It’s unclear how long this promo will last so jump on it now if you’re interested.

Time is now meaningless. (But I mean, it has been for a while now for those of us with DVRs, but whatever.)

Oh my God, are we still talking about that goddamned coffee cup?

Not looking forward to dealing with your family this Thanksgiving? Go watch Friends in a movie theater, instead.

Why aren’t we all watching Tyler Perry’s The Oval? This needs to be remedied immediately. (Also, why didn’t I include THIS on the hate-blog poll? Oh, who am I kidding, y’all would have still chosen Stumptown.)

LOVE CONTINUES TO BE DEAD.

Impeachment Corner!

The corner is small today: no one is testifying, and, in fact, after yesterday’s vote to make the impeachment inquiry a real boy, many Congresspeople went home for the weekend.

As for yesterday, Tim Morrison, the now-former senior director for Europe and Russia on the National Security Council and Fiona Hill’s replacement, he backed up Bill Taylor’s testimony that yes, a quid pro quo, totally happened.

A transcript of Morrison’s testimony and all the other depositions that have taken place behind closed doors could be made public as soon as next week according to Adam Schiff, so hold on to your hats.

President Dingleberry wants to read the transcript of the phone call in a “fireside chat” even though the transcript of the phone call confirms the quid pro quo and also, too, it’s not a complete record of the phone call.

Nancy Pelosi went on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert where she insisted that she doesn’t want to impeach Trump, that it sucks that this asshole violated the Constitution, but they have a DUTY TO THIS COUNTRY, GOD DAMMIT. (My paraphrasing, not what she actually said. BUT WHAT SHE WAS DEFINITELY THINKING.)

In fact, here’s what she did say: “This was something you could not ignore. He undermined our national security by withholding military assistance to a country that had been voted on by the Congress of the United States to the benefit of the Russians. At the same time, he  jeopardized the integrity of our elections, the heart of our democracy, and in doing so, in my view he possibly violated his oath of office.”

Meanwhile:

And also this little tidbit:

I genuinely don’t know that we’ll ever get to the place that we need to be to convince 20 Republican senators to convict and remove President Traitor, but Mitch McConnell can’t be sleeping well at night looking at these numbers, and I don’t think having public hearings is going to improve them. But who even knows, guys.

Time’s Up

Nell Scovell was a writer on The Late Show with David Letterman but she quit after only five months. Some years later, she wrote an article explaining why she quit: because the writers room, which was filled with white men, was a hostile and sexually charged environment. 10 years after the first article was published, Letterman finally read it, and agreed to sit down with Scovell for an interview where — GASP! — he apologized. And not one of those bullshit “I’m sorry if you were offended” non-apologies.

Feel very sorry for how annoying it is for these men to have to keep defending their bad choices. My heart, it bleeds.

I had completely forgotten about the sexual harassment allegations against Morgan Freeman, to be honest.

Kevin Spacey is no longer facing sexual assault charges in Los Angeles after his accuser died.

Anyway, Morning Show premieres on Apple TV+ today.

Renewals

In Development

  • Rebel, a drama about Erin Brockovich from the Grey’s Anatomy showrunner, is in the works at ABC.
  • Man vs. Bear — which is EXACTLY what it sounds like — is coming to Discovery Channel.
  • Building Security, a workplace comedy, has been bought by Fox.
  • Wellsville, an H.G. Wells-inspired drama, is being developed at NBC.
  • Cascadia, a crime drama, has been bought at CBS.
  • The Now, a comedy starring Dave Franco, is coming to Quibi.
  • Books of Blood, from Clive Barker, is being turned into a movie by Hulu.
  • Food Network Challenge is being rebooted at Food Network. It will be hosted by Ian Ziering.
  • Last Looks, a fashion true crime series, is coming to Quibi.
  • Bone White, a supernatural drama about a mass murder, is being developed at Amazon.
  • Netflix has bought an action-comedy film that will star Glen Powell and Jay Ellis.

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • Work in Progress will debut on Showtime on December 8. It looks utterly delightful.
  • Hunters will debut on Amazon sometime in 2020.
  • Servant will debut on Apple TV+ on November 28.

R.I.P.

Deadspin, Just a very good sports website that was murdered because their writers sometimes wrote about things that weren’t sports.

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

Oprah’s Book Club: Oprah will be tackling Ta-Nehisi Coates’ The Water Dancer. Series premiere. Apple TV+

Dickinson: Hailee Steinfeld stars as Emily Dickinson in this very unconventional depiction of the poet’s life. Series premiere. Apple TV+

For All Mankind: OK, but what if the Russians got to the moon first? asks this new alternative history sci-fi series. Series premiere. Apple TV+

The Morning Show: Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon and Steve Carrell star in this TV news drama, also known as Apple TV+’s biggest swing. Series premiere. Apple TV+

See: Jason Momoa stars in this new dystopian fantasy in which humanity has lost the ability to see. Series premiere. Apple TV+

Atypical: Third season premiere. Netflix

The Great British Baking Show: The most soothing show on television is back. Season premiere. Netflix

American Son: Kerry Washington stars in this adaptation of the critically-acclaimed Broadway play. Netflix

The King: Timothée Chalamet is Henry V and rocking an unfortunate haircut. Netflix

Queer Eye: We’re in Japan!: I mean, the title pretty much tells you everything. Netflix

Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan: Second season. Amazon

SATURDAY

Saturday Night Live: Kristen Stewart & Coldplay. 10:30 p.m., NBC

Ratatouille: It’s not my favorite Pixar movie, but it might be the studio’s most underappreicated film. 10:20 p.m., Freeform

SUNDAY

The Affair: It’s Whitney’s wedding day, so that should go well. Series finale. 8 p.m., Showtime

The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Kenya loves being a new mother in the season premiere. 7 p.m., Bravo

The Walking Dead: “Negan is idolized by an Alexandrian” so that is not terrific news. 8 p.m., AMC

Watchmen: Laurie Blake of the FBI arrives in Tulsa. 8 p.m., HBO

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, Conan O’Brien, Kate Willett
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, Conan O’Brien
  • Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Kenya Moore, Joel Kim Booster

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC American Housewife
(repeat)
Fresh Off the Boat
(repeat)
20/20
(new)
CBS Hawaii Five-0
(new)
Magnum P.I.
(new)
Blue Bloods
(new)
CW Charmed
(new)
Dynasty
(new)
Local
FOX Friday Night Smackdown
(new)
Local
NBC The Blacklist
(new)
Dateline
(new)


SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC College Football
(live)
News/Local
CBS NCIS: New Orleans
(repeat)
48 Hours
(new)
48 Hours
(new)
News/Local
FOX College Football
(live)
News/Local
NBC The Voice
(repeat)
Dateline News/Local Saturday Night Live
(Kristen Stewart and Coldplay)


SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(new)
Kids Say the Darndest Things
(new)
Shark Tank
(new)
The Rookie
(new)
CBS 60 Minutes
(new)
God Friended Me
(new)
NCIS: Los Angeles
(new)
Madam Secretary
(new)
The CW Local Batwoman
(new)
Supergirl
(new)
Local
FOX The Simpsons
(repeat)
Bob’s Burgers
(repeat)
The Simpsons
(new)
Bless the Harts
(new)
Bob’s Burgers
(new)
Family Guy
(new)
Local/News
NBC Sunday Night Football
(live)
Advertisements

One thought on “Spend your weekend watching Apple TV+ for free. Sorta. Mostly.

  1. Man I am really bummed out about Deadspin. I’ve visited that website every day for almost a decade. They were at their best when they did not stick to sports and is was killed by that herb Jim Spanfeller. Rest in Peace you beautiful sonofabitch.

Leave a Reply