‘The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade,’ ‘The Little Drummer Girl,’ more Christmas movies than you have time for, and everything else you don’t want to miss on TV this week

MONDAY

The Little Drummer Girl: All you need to know is that Eric the Vampire stars. But if for some reason you need to know more: it’s a miniseries based on a John LaCarre novel so it’s about spies in the 70s or something. Miniseries premiere. 8 p.m., AMC

Dancing with the Stars: Someone wins the coveted disco ball. Season finale. 7 p.m., ABC

The Last Kingdom: The entire third season. It’s expected to be based on the Cornwell novel’s The Burning Land and Death of KingsNetflix

Julia Louis-Dreyfus: The Mark Twain Prize: Our undisputed queen of comedy is honored. 8 p.m., PBS

Christmas Movies:

  • Last Vermont Christmas: 8 p.m., Hallmark Movie Channel

TUESDAY

This Is Us: Special Thanksgiving Episode, now with extra tears. 8 p.m., NBC

The Conners: A family member “makes an announcement no one saw coming” — so, someone’s pregnant, right? Is it Becky or is it the teen daughter? 7 p.m., ABC

Trevor Noah: Son of Patricia: “Trevor Noah touches on tacos, runaway snakes, camping, racism immunity and lessons he learned from his mother in this comedy special.” Netflix

The Final Table: Some of the world’s best chefs compete in this ambitious new series. Netflix

Frontline: Documenting Hate: New Ameican Nazis: A neo-Nazi group is recruiting within the U.S. military so that’s fun. EVERYTHING IS FINE. THIS IS FINE. 8 p.m., PBS

Christmas Movies:

  • Hope at Christmas: 8 p.m., Hallmark Movie Channel

WEDNESDAY

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving: Who doesn’t love jelly beans? 7 p.m., ABC

A Saturday Night Live Thanksgiving: Clip show! 8 p.m., NBC

Double Dare: Team Kel vs. Team Kenan: Get your 90s nostalgia on — or realize just how old you’ve become. You know, either/or. 7 p.m., Nickelodeon

The Real Housewives of Dallas: Something about cloned phones? I don’t know. Season finale. 9 p.m., Bravo

Man’s Greatest Food: TEX-MEX, FUCK YEAH. Season finale. 8 p.m., Cooking

Christmas Movies:

  • My Christmas Inn: 7 p.m., Lifetime
  • Reunited at Christmas: 7 p.m., Hallmark
  • A Christmas Arrangement: 9 p.m., Lifetime

THURSDAY

Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade: You know the routine. 9 a.m., NBC

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Mac and Me has finally landed in the MSTK3‘s snarky’s hands. Netflix

Pee-Wee’s Playhouse: The secret word is “MARATHON!”  Begins at 5 a.m. and goes on for 24 hours, IFC

Mary Poppins Returns: Behind the Magic: They’ve remade Mary Poppins, and because ABC is owned by Disney, they have devoted an hour of primetime on a big TV night to advertise it to you. 7 p.m., ABC

MasterChef Junior: Celebrity Showdown: Gordon Ramsay yells at children and celebrities! 7 p.m., Fox

Meghan’s New Life: The Real Princess Diaries: More about Princess Meghan. 8 p.m., ABC

I’m Coming Home: Kristin Chenoweth returns to Oklahoma to visit old friends and family; Tiffany Haddish and Tyler Perry share childhood memories. 9 p.m., ABC

‘Tis the Season: A One Tree Hill Cast Reunion: Because when you think holidays, you think Chad Michael Murray. 9 p.m., Lifetime

The Christmas Chronicles: Kurt Russell is Sexy Santa Who Is Making Me Uncomfortable. Netflix

Christmas Movies:

  • Christmas at the Palace: 7 p.m., Hallmark
  • The Christmas Contract: 7 p.m., Lifetime

FRIDAY

Frontier: Beaver trapping with Jason Momoa. That is not a euphemism. (Alright, maybe it is.) Netflix

Jim Gaffigan: Noble Ape: For those of you who like Jim Gaffigan as much as I do. 10 p.m., Comedy Central

Frosty the Snowman & Frosty Returns: Stories that children who grew up in Texas had a hard time relating to. 7 p.m., CBS

Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town: Burgermeister Meisterburger is back to ruin everyone’s Christmas. 7 p.m., ABC

The Hunger Games marathon: Begins 11 a.m., TNT

The Matrix marathon: Begins 6 p.m., Viceland

Christmas Movies:

  • Poinsettias for Christmas: 7 p.m., Lifetime
  • Pride, Prejudice, and Mistletoe: 7 p.m., Hallmark
  • Every Other Holiday: 9 p.m., Lifetime

SATURDAY

A Christmas Story: But I can not condone watching this on any day other than Christmas Eve. 7 p.m., TBS

Elf: But you are allowed to watch this on any day of the year. 5 p.m., ABC Spark

Christmas Movies:

  • Christmas Everlasting: 7 p.m., Lifetime
  • Every Day is Christmas: 7 p.m., Hallmark
  • Christmas on Honeysuckle Lane: 8 p.m., HMN
  • Christmas Harmony: 9 p.m., Lifetime

SUNDAY

Dirty John: Chase away all those warm and fuzzy Christmas feelings with this dark romance based on a true story starring Connie Britton and Eric Bana. Series premiere. 9 p.m., Bravo

The Walking Dead: When the group goes looking for a missing friend, they find a surprising threat that could doom them all. Midseason finale. 8 p.m., AMC

Christmas Movies:

  • A Shoe Addict’s Christmas: 7 p.m., Hallmark
  • Jingle Belle: 7 p.m., Lifetime
  • Christmas Cupid’s Arrow: 8 p.m., ION
  • The Truth About Christmas: 8 p.m., Freeform
  • Christmas Perfection: 9 p.m., Lifetime
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