MONDAY
The Little Drummer Girl: All you need to know is that Eric the Vampire stars. But if for some reason you need to know more: it’s a miniseries based on a John LaCarre novel so it’s about spies in the 70s or something. Miniseries premiere. 8 p.m., AMC
Dancing with the Stars: Someone wins the coveted disco ball. Season finale. 7 p.m., ABC
The Last Kingdom: The entire third season. It’s expected to be based on the Cornwell novel’s The Burning Land and Death of Kings. Netflix
Julia Louis-Dreyfus: The Mark Twain Prize: Our undisputed queen of comedy is honored. 8 p.m., PBS
Christmas Movies:
- Last Vermont Christmas: 8 p.m., Hallmark Movie Channel
TUESDAY
This Is Us: Special Thanksgiving Episode, now with extra tears. 8 p.m., NBC
The Conners: A family member “makes an announcement no one saw coming” — so, someone’s pregnant, right? Is it Becky or is it the teen daughter? 7 p.m., ABC
Trevor Noah: Son of Patricia: “Trevor Noah touches on tacos, runaway snakes, camping, racism immunity and lessons he learned from his mother in this comedy special.” Netflix
The Final Table: Some of the world’s best chefs compete in this ambitious new series. Netflix
Frontline: Documenting Hate: New Ameican Nazis: A neo-Nazi group is recruiting within the U.S. military so that’s fun. EVERYTHING IS FINE. THIS IS FINE. 8 p.m., PBS
Christmas Movies:
- Hope at Christmas: 8 p.m., Hallmark Movie Channel
WEDNESDAY
A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving: Who doesn’t love jelly beans? 7 p.m., ABC
A Saturday Night Live Thanksgiving: Clip show! 8 p.m., NBC
Double Dare: Team Kel vs. Team Kenan: Get your 90s nostalgia on — or realize just how old you’ve become. You know, either/or. 7 p.m., Nickelodeon
The Real Housewives of Dallas: Something about cloned phones? I don’t know. Season finale. 9 p.m., Bravo
Man’s Greatest Food: TEX-MEX, FUCK YEAH. Season finale. 8 p.m., Cooking
Christmas Movies:
- My Christmas Inn: 7 p.m., Lifetime
- Reunited at Christmas: 7 p.m., Hallmark
- A Christmas Arrangement: 9 p.m., Lifetime
THURSDAY
Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade: You know the routine. 9 a.m., NBC
Mystery Science Theater 3000: Mac and Me has finally landed in the MSTK3‘s snarky’s hands. Netflix
Pee-Wee’s Playhouse: The secret word is “MARATHON!” Begins at 5 a.m. and goes on for 24 hours, IFC
Mary Poppins Returns: Behind the Magic: They’ve remade Mary Poppins, and because ABC is owned by Disney, they have devoted an hour of primetime on a big TV night to advertise it to you. 7 p.m., ABC
MasterChef Junior: Celebrity Showdown: Gordon Ramsay yells at children and celebrities! 7 p.m., Fox
Meghan’s New Life: The Real Princess Diaries: More about Princess Meghan. 8 p.m., ABC
I’m Coming Home: Kristin Chenoweth returns to Oklahoma to visit old friends and family; Tiffany Haddish and Tyler Perry share childhood memories. 9 p.m., ABC
‘Tis the Season: A One Tree Hill Cast Reunion: Because when you think holidays, you think Chad Michael Murray. 9 p.m., Lifetime
The Christmas Chronicles: Kurt Russell is Sexy Santa Who Is Making Me Uncomfortable. Netflix
Christmas Movies:
- Christmas at the Palace: 7 p.m., Hallmark
- The Christmas Contract: 7 p.m., Lifetime
FRIDAY
Frontier: Beaver trapping with Jason Momoa. That is not a euphemism. (Alright, maybe it is.) Netflix
Jim Gaffigan: Noble Ape: For those of you who like Jim Gaffigan as much as I do. 10 p.m., Comedy Central
Frosty the Snowman & Frosty Returns: Stories that children who grew up in Texas had a hard time relating to. 7 p.m., CBS
Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town: Burgermeister Meisterburger is back to ruin everyone’s Christmas. 7 p.m., ABC
The Hunger Games marathon: Begins 11 a.m., TNT
The Matrix marathon: Begins 6 p.m., Viceland
Christmas Movies:
- Poinsettias for Christmas: 7 p.m., Lifetime
- Pride, Prejudice, and Mistletoe: 7 p.m., Hallmark
- Every Other Holiday: 9 p.m., Lifetime
SATURDAY
A Christmas Story: But I can not condone watching this on any day other than Christmas Eve. 7 p.m., TBS
Elf: But you are allowed to watch this on any day of the year. 5 p.m., ABC Spark
Christmas Movies:
- Christmas Everlasting: 7 p.m., Lifetime
- Every Day is Christmas: 7 p.m., Hallmark
- Christmas on Honeysuckle Lane: 8 p.m., HMN
- Christmas Harmony: 9 p.m., Lifetime
SUNDAY
Dirty John: Chase away all those warm and fuzzy Christmas feelings with this dark romance based on a true story starring Connie Britton and Eric Bana. Series premiere. 9 p.m., Bravo
The Walking Dead: When the group goes looking for a missing friend, they find a surprising threat that could doom them all. Midseason finale. 8 p.m., AMC
Christmas Movies:
- A Shoe Addict’s Christmas: 7 p.m., Hallmark
- Jingle Belle: 7 p.m., Lifetime
- Christmas Cupid’s Arrow: 8 p.m., ION
- The Truth About Christmas: 8 p.m., Freeform
- Christmas Perfection: 9 p.m., Lifetime