Even though Rick Grimes’ fate on The Walking Dead appears to be the biggest news on my radar, I’m going to begin this post with some politics because ZOMG TOMORROW IS ELECTION DAY IF YOU HAVEN’T VOTED YET BE SURE YOU HAVE A PLAN TO DO SO TOMORROW AND IF YOU DON’T VOTE I WON’T BE YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE I SWEAR TO GOD.
I swear to God.
First up: I live in the Texas second congressional district where our election has been relatively quiet compared to all the noise being generated by Beto and over in the seventh district where Lizzie Fletcher is giving John Culberson a run for his money. So the last thing I expected was for the race between Todd Litton and Dan Crenshaw (and a couple of Libertarians, who cares) in my district to become national news.
But then Pete Davidson came along and made fun of Republican and war veteran Crenshaw for wearing an eyepatch on Saturday Night Live in this week’s “Weekend Update.” I briefly mentioned this in passing in my Saturday Night Live recap yesterday, foolishly believing that Davidson addressing his breakup with Araina Grande would be the bigger story. In the meantime, the Crenshaw angle has blown up all over the damn place with people being VERY OFFENDED that Davidson insulted a war veteran. The National Republican Congressional Committee is demanding an apology, others are calling for a boycott of SNL, even Kenan Thompson thinks that maybe Davidson owes Crenshaw an apology.
As for Crenshaw:
And you know what? All of this is fair. And as someone who desperately wants a modicum of decency to return to our politics and discourse in general, I agree with Mr. Crenshaw.
But I want to know where all of this outrage from the right on behalf of veterans was when Donald Trump was attacking Gold Star families, where all this pearl clutching was when he mocked a disabled journalist, where all the fury and foot-stomping was when Trump said he likes war heroes who “weren’t captured,” as a means to attack John War Hero McCain. Surely the President of the United States (or a candidate at the time) should be held to a higher standard of behavior than a blue-haired 24-year-old stand-up comedian, right?
The fact of the matter is that this kerfuffle, although doing no favors for Democratic candidate Todd Litton, probably isn’t going to make a difference one way or another in this race. This picture will tell you why — this green blob is my congressional district:
For those of you unfamiliar with Texas politics, my district has been gerrymandered to hell by the Republicans in the Texas Congress — just look at that weird shape. Here’s a handy annotated version: the red circle represents dependably Republican voters; the blue (sorta) Democratic voters; the section in the west that isn’t marked are a mix (but probably leaning Republican):
What I’m saying is that Litton doesn’t have much of a chance, even without Pete Davidson ginning up outrage on the right.
That said, if you are one of my neighbors in the second and you want universal background checks, think it’s ridiculous that Texas is just leaving millions and millions of federal dollars on the table that could help expand Medicaid to those needing health care in this state, and think a border wall is bullshit, please vote for Todd Litton tomorrow. He needs all the help he can get.
Also: if you’re in Texas, please enjoy these videos on Sid Miller, Ken Paxton and Dan Motherfucking Patrick before you vote tomorrow, and please remember to vote down ticket:
In other midterm news, last week President Racist tweeted an insanely offensive — and, this will surprise you — inaccurate ad conflating the migrants in the caravan with a cop-killer (who was released by Sheriff [and Trump pardonee] Joe Arpaio after being arrested on drug charges and allowed back into the country by Bush’s administration).
CNN refused to air the ad, prompting a tantrum from Dummy Jr. who tweeted that CNN only runs Fake News. CNN responded thusly:
Meanwhile, NBC did run the ad during Sunday Night Football, and Debra Messing was PISSED.
NBC has since pulled the ad, releasing a statement that read: “After further review, we recognize the insensitive nature of the ad and have decided to cease airing it across our properties as soon as possible.” I mean, I guess it’s better than continuing to run the ad, but still.
“Upon further review, Fox News pulled the ad yesterday and it will not appear on either Fox News Channel or Fox Business Network,” Fox News president of ad sales Marianne Gambelli said in a statement provided to TVNewser. DUDE. THAT’S HUGE.
As for Trump’s response to this, I would like you to enjoy, really savor the irony of these two tweets that came within thirty minuets of each other:
Don’t fall for the suppression game, indeed. Vote. VOTE. VOTE.
While we’re on the subject of Trump’s tweets, this asshole right here tweeted this on Friday:
And HBO was NOT. HAVING. IT.
In a statement, HBO wrote: “We were not aware of this messaging and would prefer our trademark not be misappropriated for political purposes.”
SUE! SUE! SUE! SUE!
George R.R. Martin and some of our Game of Thrones actors and had some thoughts on Trump misappropriating their show, too:
In other Trump news, Michael Cohen came forward at the end of last week to reveal that Trump is racist (and homophobic). Whoops! I probably should have told you to sit down first, sorry about that shocking sentence.
According to Vanity Fair, Cohen says that during the first season of The Apprentice, Trump was choosing between Bill Rancic and Kwame Jackson to win the whole shebang, and said regarding Jackson, “There’s no way I can let this black f-g win.” Jackson, when reached for comment, said that he had heard the story before, adding “My response to President Trump is simple and Wakandan. Not today, colonizer!’”
Cohen also said Trump said, “black people are too stupid to vote for me,” and after Nelson Mandela’s death: “[Trump] said to me, ‘Name one country run by a black person that’s not a shithole,’ and then he added, ‘Name one city.’”
Sit down, I’ll fetch you some smelling salts.
Showtime has made the short documentary, The Family Business: Trump and Taxes, available for free. You can watch it below:
Finally, Gina Linetti has a get out the vote message for you:
Alright, let’s talk about other TV stuff
So The Walking Dead gave us another Glenn and the dumpster moment last night. After hyping Rick Grimes’ final Walking Dead episode FOR LITERALLY MONTHS the moment was here and … wait, I’m going to spoiler font this one since you might not have watched yet: Andrew Lincoln’s final episode ended with Rick being rescued by a helicopter and then fast-forwarding six years into the future. And people are PISSED — I know for a fact some of you are NOT HAPPY.
More spoilers: Apparently, Lincoln is going to star in three Walking Dead movies on AMC. What this means in terms of Rick reuniting with his family and friends? I will say that this was in an interview with Lincoln in The New York Times which I can’t link to without ruining the spoiler font:
There was the thing with Glenn and the dumpster, and the Negan cliffhanger —
I can categorically say that I will not be returning to the TV show.
So, you know.
I’m obviously going to write about this at greater length in the recap, but in the meantime, how are you feeling?
In other The Walking Dead news, Norman Reedus and Melissa McBride have signed multi-year deals to remain on the series, and Danai Gurira is still in negotiations. YOU GIVE MICHONNE WHATEVER SHE WANTS, YOU MONSTERS.
Here’s another guide to the Easter eggs in Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. I was finally able to watch this weekend, and if Riverdale is your bag, you’ll love this show.
There probably won’t be a Doctor Who Christmas special this year. First, they take the penis out of Doctor Who and now Christmas? IS NOTHING SACRED?
“A wall is not going to stop anything … They’ve put a rapid succession of drug dealers in jail, and that hasn’t stopped anything either because this is a system, a corrupt system, that has seeped into every level of power on both sides of the border….That’s what the series says: that we have to work together towards a solution. It’s not them against us … But I also want to say that this is just a series, and the beauty of this is that hopefully it can trigger curiosity in audiences to go deeper and go research a little more.”
Apparently House of Cards had a weird ending. SPOILERS ABOUND, Y’ALL. CLICK THROUGH CAREFULLY.
If you are a huge Star Trek: The Next Generation fan and have $6 million to spare have I got the house for you.
George R.R. Martin’s Fire & Blood: 300 Years Before A Game of Thrones comes out on November 20 which is all well and good but WHERE ARE THE ICE AND FIRE BOOKS? GEORGE?
Jane Fonda feels sorry for Megyn Kelly. She may be literally the only person on Earth.
This isn’t a TV story, but Damon Lindelof is working on a movie called The Hunt which is described as “The Most Dangerous Game meets Battle Royale with shades of Belko Experiment.” Yes, please.
Television continues to tell #MeToo stories. Will & Grace had a powerful episode in which Grace revealed her story to her father last week, and The Deuce ended its second season last night with many of the female characters who started as sex workers elevating their statuses and taking control.
I didn’t mention this story last week — even though it might have been my very favorite thing that happened last week — but Jacob Wohl, a right-wing provocateur and blithering idiot teamed up with a few other idiots to try to smear Robert Mueller with some false sexual harassment allegations. It backfired SPECTACULARLY. Long story short: they are not under investigation by the FBI for bribing women to make false allegations and The Gateway Pundit has fired Jacob Wohl.
But also, this:
“I was so happy, finally, there was a voice given to these people,” Barris said. “But at the same time, I felt like there was a narrative that was being produced that it was women against men. It wasn’t. It was women and everyone against monsters. We can’t forget that we all have something to say, and that there’s room for growth on both sides.”
And this isn’t as much a #MeToo story as it is a human story, but the WGA has fired back on Trump’s transgender policies.
- Divorce has been renewed for a third season at HBO.
- The Rookie received a back order pickup for a full season on ABC.
- Alone Together has been canceled at Freeform after two seasons.
- MTV is rebooting Undressed.
- A comedy about Robin Thede’s childhood is being developed at ABC.
- Be Here Now, a comedy, is being developed at CBS.
- Blank, a medical drama, is being developed at ABC.
- Dollface, a comedy starring Kat Dennings, is coming to Hulu.
- Line of Duty is moving to Acorn (from Hulu?).
- Tall Girl, a feature from McG, is coming to Netflix.
- Farrah Abraham is threatening to make her own show. NO.
- Lamorne Morris will star in Woke for Hulu.
- Anjelika Washington is joining DC Universe’s Stargirl in a mystery role.
- Luis Guzmán and Kurtwood Smith will be joining Our Lady, LTD on Epix.
- Jess Gabor and Noah Le Gros will star in Breckman Rodeo on Freeform. Kayla Wallace, Diego Josef, Vinnie Bennett and James Tarpey are also joining the cast.
- Josh Duhamel, Mandy Moore, Matthew Morrison and Regina King will be exploring their families’ histories on Who Do You Think You Are? on TLC this season.
Mark Your Calendar
- True Detective returns on January 13 on HBO and dare I say it looks good?
- Motown Magic will debut on Netflix on November 20.
- I’m Sorry — the funniest sitcom you’re not watching — returns on TruTV on January 9.
- Shadowhunters final season will premiere on Freeform on February 25.
- A new season of The Great British Baking Show will premiere on Netflix on November 9.
- Border Live will debut on Discovery on December 5.
- Dumplin’ will debut on Netflix on December 7.
- The Wonderful World of Disney: Magical Holiday Celebration airs November 29 on ABC.
- Disney Parks Presents a 25 Days of Christmas Holiday Party airs on December 1 on Disney Channel.
- Disney Parks Magical Christmas Day Parade will air on Christmas morning on ABC.
Carlo Giuffrè, Italian actor
Raymond Chow, Producer
Manifest: Cal has a fever. Is it because CANCER? or because MYSTERY PLANE? 9 p.m., NBC
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee: Airing on a special night, Samantha begs and pleads with you people to go vote. PLEASE, YOUNG PEOPLE, YOU’RE OUR ONLY HOPE. 9:30 p.m., TBS
John Leguizamo’s Latin History for Morons: Leguizamo’s Tony-nominated one-man show that explores Latin American history comes to Netflix. Netflix
This is Congo: Hey, looking to be bummed out? 8 p.m., Starz
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Rachel Maddow, Sam Heughan, Carly Rae Jepsen Late Night with Seth Meyers: Claire Foy, Lucas Hedges, boygenius, Franklin Vanderbilt The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Jude Law, Sen. Amy Klobuchar, Flynn McGarry The Late Late Show with James Corden: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Richard Madden, KISS, Snow Patrol Jimmy Kimmel Live: Taraji P. Henson, Sebastian Maniscalco, Imagine Dragons The Daily Show: Sen. Cory Booker, Gov. John Kasich Watch What Happens Live: Vicki Gunvalson, Leslie Grossman
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