Jonah Hill earns his place in the Five Timers Club on ‘Saturday Night Live’

Saturday Night Live
November 3, 2018
Jonah Hill and Maggie Rogers

Look. This week, this month, these past two years have given you plenty of reasons to drink, but I’m going to give you one more: You’re old. How old are you? You’re so old that Jonah Hill — the kid whose break out film was Superbad — has hosted Saturday Night Live five times.

FIVE.

FIVE TIMES.

Can I buy you a glass of box wine?

The cold open features Fox News harridans, Laura Ingraham and Jeanine Pirro, fear-mongering about the migrant caravan which has “everyone you’ve ever seen in your nightmares: Guatemalans, Mexicans, Isis, the Mendez brothers, the 1990s Detroit Pistons, Thanos and several babadooks.” The only knock on this sketch is that somehow Kate McKinnon and Cecily Strong managed to underplay Ingraham and Pirro’s histrionics.

Grade: A

Jonah Hill was inducted into the five-timers club with this hosting appearance, and Tina Fey, Candace Bergen, and Drew Barrymore are here to welcome him. No men welcomed him to the club as they aren’t allowed anymore after they’ve all been outed as a bunch of horny perverts, according to the ladies. Jonah Hill, clearly disappointed that he won’t be hanging out with a bunch of dudes is then given his five-timers club jacket which the women have redesigned with sequins. Ha?

Note to the writers’ staff: PLEASE PROMOTE A WOMAN TO A HEAD WRITER POSITION. IMMEDIATELY.

Grade: C-

Jonah Hill’s Adam Grossman character, the six-year-old with the soul of a Borscht Belt comedian, is back. This character is the best excuse to bring Jonah Hill back to host the show.

Grade: A-

In this political ad spoof, Democrats try to exude confidence that Election Day is going to go their way this time. They are not convincing.

I feel seen.

Grade: A+

A meteorologist’s boyfriend surprises her during her broadcast to propose to her during her segment and the whole joke here is that he is wearing a green shirt causing all sorts of green screen shenanigans.

It is painfully not funny. But seriously, how did this make the cut for the first hour, y’all?

Grade: D

Here is an ad for an off-Broadway political musical that can only be described as “definitely written by the actors.” It’s actually one of the stronger bits of the night, even if it is a sort of riff on the recurring high school experimental theater sketch:

Grade: A

Kate McKinnon plays a teacher who has fallen down and continues to try to deliver a dramatic monologue exposing some sort of bigger truth while her students just wonder if she’s OK. I don’t know what is happening. I want a refund.

Grade: C-

Here’s your “Weekend Update.” It’s fine. It’s merely fine. BUT MAYBE MICHAEL CHE NEEDS TO CUT IT WITH THE NOT VOTING JOKES. CHE.

Grade: B

Pete Davidson comes to the “Weekend Update” desk to make fun of the looks of different politicians running in the midterms, including the man who, whether I like it or not, will probably be my future congressman, Dan Crenshaw. Crenshaw is a military vet who lost an eye in an IED attack so lots of people are understandably pretty pissed off about this —  no one more so, I’m sure, than Todd Litton, his Democratic opponent.

Oh, also, Davidson addresses his breakup with Ariana Grande, if you’re interested.

Grade: I don’t know how to grade this. I want to give it an A but then I feel bad, so.

And Every High School Girl Suspect on Law and Order: SVU reviews YA books or something. It’s not good.

Grade: C

Big Papi yells about mofongo again.

Grade: C-

In this promo for “America’s Got Talent: Wait They’re Good,” performers appear to be bad but then WAIT, THEY’RE GOOD? which is pretty much the entire premise of America’s Got Talent. As someone who has watched a lot of America’s Got Talent, I can assure you this is entirely accurate.

Grade: A-

How Sarah Huckabee sleeps at night: HuckaPM.

I always wondered.

Also, Aidy Bryant deserves an Emmy for these pratfalls.

Grade: A+

Pug Wigs. That’s it. Pugs in Wigs. Milage will vary. But I for one love pugs in wigs.

Grade: B+

Final Grade: A solid B.

Saturday Night Live airs at 10:30/11:30 p.m. Saturdays on NBC.

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3 thoughts on “Jonah Hill earns his place in the Five Timers Club on ‘Saturday Night Live’

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