Hey, look, I found the best thing on Twitter in the last 24 hours or so:
Because the best thing on Twitter was certainly not anything President Broken Brain tweeted today, like the tweets he originally composed at 5:45 this morning — only to retweet them about a two hours ago for some reason? — in which he reveals he has no idea how Google works.
Pity the poor staffer who tried to explain search algorithms to President Cantaloupe.
Of course, there’s a certain strategic brilliance to this idiocy. When the News Manipulator-in-Chief tweeted this nonsense this morning when you Googled “Trump News,” the top results were:
- Cohen lawyer admits he was anonymous CNN source for bombshell story on Trump Tower meeting
- “Trump Is Nuts. This Time Really Feels Different”: Trump Rejects “War Council” Intervention, Goes It Alone
- Donald Trump Is the First White President
- Inside the Trump Marriage: Melania’s Burden
And now when you Google “Trump News,” the top results are:
- Debunking Donald Trump’s latest conspiracy theory on Google …
- Donald Trump slams Google search as ‘rigged’ even though it’s not
- Tiger Woods’ ‘respect the office’ statement about Trump …
- Could Trump’s 5 A.M. Tweet Be Bad News for Google?
Ironically enough, the man who doesn’t understand how Google’s algorithms work has manipulated Google’s algorithms to his benefit. And that’s the horror and danger of all of this: that because President Unindicted Co-Conspirator is the most powerful person on Earth he has the ability to change the narrative with the snap of his fingers. Or with a couple of ignorant tweets, as the case may be.
In Other TV News
Here are the first 9 minutes of NBC’s Lost ripoff, Manifest.
Stop calling it “binge-watching,” you guys, Netflix doesn’t like it. Even though it’s their entire model. And “they’re king of the world now” so they get to call the shots.
Nickelodeon launched a streaming service today, called NickSplat, and it’s loaded with 90s shows, if you’re feeling nostalgic.
Here’s Tobias Menzies as Prince Philip because he is in all of the shows.
OH GOOD, some of our favorite sex goblins have decided they have suffered enough, and that we want to hear from them again. Louis CK made an unannounced appearance at New York comedy club The Cellar last night. And motherfucking Matt Lauer, this asshole right here told “fans” that he is going to be back on TV soon. Excuse me, but did anyone ask for you to be back on TV, Matt Lauer? Because I’m pretty sure no one asked you to come back.
Don’t forget the stories of the women they abused in the workplace. Don’t forget that C.K. called one of his accusers and apologized for an offense unfamiliar to her, meaning he got her confused with some other woman he pressured into an unwanted sexual scenario. Don’t forget how these women saw their careers hurt because of him. Don’t forget how Rebecca Corry has received death threats for speaking out about CK. Don’t forget Lauer’s button that locked his office door at a distance. Don’t forget that Lauer smugly rejoiced in the firing of Ann Curry, who went to management when a female staffer came to her in tears over his horrid behavior. Don’t forget Lauer allegedly sexually assaulted a co-worker at his desk while she was unconscious. Don’t forget that each of these men treated their workplace as a kingdom where they could do whatever they wanted to the women around them, protected by their popular public personas, which scared women into silence.
Those personas gave them power. If we allow them to be easily polished and their abuses forgotten, we are 100% part of the problem. We are complicit.
Related: Aziz Ansari has also returned to the stand-up scene — but to his credit, at least his shows are announced in advance so people can decide for themselves whether or not they want to see him. (Also, personally I don’t think he’s a sex goblin, but it is interesting that he is trying to return to the public sphere.)
- Solar Opposites has been renewed for a second season at Hulu.
- Paid Off has been given 16 more episodes at TruTV.
- Warriors, a project produced and directed by Regina King who can do no wrong, is being developed at ABC.
- Best Wishes, a fantasy drama, is being developed by ABC.
- The Biggest Modern Woman of the World will be adapted for TV by the creator of Orphan Black.
- Story of a Crime, an anthology series, is coming to Netflix.
- Harlan Coban has signed a deal with Netflix for TV series and movies based on his novels.
- Alex Hirsch, the creator of Gravity Falls, has signed an overall deal with Netflix.
- Ryan Hurst is joining the cast of The Walking Dead as Beta.
- Eric Lange is joining the casts of The Man in the High Castle and Unbelievable on Netflix.
- Chad Michael Murray is joining the cast of Star.
- Marlon Wayans will star in Sextuplets — playing all six sextuplets — on Netflix.
- Lyric Ross has been upped to a series regular on This is Us.
- Aleks Paunovic is joining Snowpiercer on TNT.
- Daniella Alonso is joining The Resident.
- Hunter Clowdus will be in All American on The CW.
- Neil Patrick Harris, Jane Lynch, Carol Burnett and RuPaul Charles will be presenters at the Emmys.
- Alana Arenas, Gillian Williams, Ruben Santiago-Hudson, Elvis Nolasco and Randy Gonzalez are joining David Makes Man on OWN.
Mark Your Calendars
- The Bad Seed will premiere on Lifetime on September 9.
- StartUp will debut on Sony Crackle on November 1.
- Dead Lucky will premiere on Sundance on September 20.
- 54 Hours will debut on Sundance on September 6.
- Jordin Sparks: A Baby Story will air on Lifetime on September 6.
- This is Life with Lisa Ling will debut on CNN on September 23.
- CBS Fall Preview will air on September 10.
Susan Elizabeth Watanabe, Television writer and activist
Henri Bollinger, Publicist
Bachelor in Paradise: A “seemingly trustworthy” man goes on a date with a newcomer. 7 p.m., ABC
The Shop: Lebron James’ new talk show set in a barbershop where the likes of Snoop Dogg, Jon Stewart, Odell Beckham Jr. and others talk about everything. Series premiere. 10 p.m., HBO
Greenleaf: Calvary receives a $2 million tax bill in the season premiere. 9 p.m., OWN
Younger: Liza considers her options in the season finale. 9 p.m., TV Land
Late Night: Conan: Kristin Chenoweth, Tom Segura, Marcus King Band
|ABC||Bachelor in Paradise
|NCIS: New Orleans
|NBC||America’s Got Talent