MONDAY
The Proposal: On the finale of this God-forsaken series, a woman is looking for a man who is “the perfect mix of Mr. Rogers and Christian Grey.” Again, all y’all need to get Mr. Rogers’ name OUT YO MOUTHS. Season finale. 9 p.m., ABC
Bachelor in Paradise: A bachelor leaves early because apparently he has a brain in his pretty head. GODSPEED, BACHELOR. 7 p.m., ABC
Goodfellas: “As long as I can remember, I always wanted to be the President a gangster.” Ahem. No reason. 6 p.m., AMC
TUESDAY
The Shop: Lebron James’ new talk show set in a barbershop where the likes of Snoop Dogg, Jon Stewart, Odell Beckham Jr. and others talk about everything. Series premiere. 10 p.m., HBO
Greenleaf: Calvary receives a $2 million tax bill in the season premiere. 9 p.m., OWN
Younger: Liza considers her options in the season finale. 9 p.m., TV Land
WEDNESDAY
Ancient Invisible Cities: This new series uses 3D scanning to uncover secrets of ancient cities. First up: Athens. Series premiere. 8 p.m., PBS
Bobcat Goldthwait’s Monsters and Misfits: In the season finale, a pair of musicians are turned into bees. OK. 9 p.m., TruTV
THURSDAY
One Dollar: A dollar bill traces the path of a multiple murder in a rust belt town in this new mystery series. Series premiere. CBS All Access
The Thing: This movie was made 36 years ago. It still holds up. 8 p.m., Starz Encore
Preseason Football: Cowboys at Texans: Yay sports. 7 p.m., ABC
FRIDAY
Ozark: Jason Bateman and Laura Linney tangle with more rednecks. Season two. Netflix
Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan: Jim from The Office is now a badass. Series premiere. Amazon Prime
The Comedy Lineup: More comedians get their fifteen minutes. Season premiere. Netflix
SATURDAY
Ferdinand: A sweet bull plots his escape from the bullfighting ring in a movie that I will never be able to watch because the one bullfight I ever saw left me emotionally scarred. 7 p.m., HBO
Up: Instead, I’ll just watch this perfect film instead. 7 p.m., Disney Channel
Sisters: A woman discovers that her dad fathered over 100 other people, only two of which are women. Netflix
SUNDAY
Fear the Walking Dead: Morgan looks for his friends who were lost in the storm. 8 p.m., AMC
Married to Medicine: Mariah claims to have receipts on someone named “Daddy” in the season premiere. 7 p.m., Bravo