The Big Bang Theory is finally FINALLY coming to an end. This isn’t particularly surprising news, it had long been rumored that this was going to be the final season. But at the recent TCAs, CBS left the door open on the possibility that they could talk the cast into sticking around. Turns out, not even $50 million — PLUS PROFITS — could convince Jim Parsons to stay any longer. Some people are happy about this development, others not so much. But for yours truly, I actually don’t care one way or another. Aside from giving it a few of chances and finding it utterly unwatchable:
… this show had no real impact on my life aside from my having to be vaguely aware of the outlines of the plot and characters to be able to write about television competently. Bye.
OK, so the above sends you to thebeginningisnear.tv where you can enter for a chance to go to Los Angeles for an “exclusive AHS: Apocalypse experience.”
We have learned thanks to actor W. Earl Brown that the Deadwood movie will take place 10 years after the finale, no one will be recast, and most of the cast is returning.
Do you use Chrome? Do you love The Good Place? I have good news for you.
Carlton Cuse on the long, tortured history of Locke & Key, if you’re interested.
Kirstie Alley claimed on the U.K. Celebrity Big Brother that she went to Courtney Love’s house where she had snacks with Prince Charles and you know what? This is so bonkers, I desperately hope it’s true. I know it’s not true, but think how amazing it would be if it were.
Uh-oh, a stuntman was hurt on the set of MacGyver. Get better soon, Stuntman!
Donald Trump Nonsense
I wasn’t going to talk about the interview President Dummy gave to Fox News, but then he tweeted this part of the interview where he calls 80% of the news “FAKE NEWS” so here we are.
The most telling part of that statement is how it reveals how much he just straight-up disagrees with reality. It’s kind of amazing if you really think about it.
Also in the interview, he talked — at great length and quite incorrectly — about the Michael Cohen situation, saying that the money that paid Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal off did not come from campaign resources and therefore no crime was committed.
“You have to understand, Ainsley, what he did and – they weren’t taken out of campaign finance. That’s a much bigger thing…They did not come out of campaign. They came from me. And I tweeted about it. But they did not come out of campaign,” Trump said, making it three times in all.
“First question, when I heard about it was, ‘Did they come out of the campaign?’ because that could be a little dicey. And they didn’t come out of the campaign, and that’s big. But it’s not even a campaign violation.”
Yeah, see, no. Ironically, if the women had been paid off by the campaign it might not have been a violation. But because he paid them so much money to shut them up ahead of the election — well in excess of the $2,700 individual donation limit to a campaign — and he didn’t disclose the payments to the FEC, he just admitted to breaking campaign finance law. Whoops!
He also bitched about Cohen flipping on him, and suggested that people shouldn’t be allowed to cooperate with the government in on-going investigations:
“If you can say something bad about Donald Trump and you will go down to two years or three years, which is the deal he made, in all fairness to him, most people are going to do that,” Trump told Fox & Friends about Michael Cohen. “And I have seen it many times. I have had many friends involved in this stuff. It’s called flipping and it almost ought to be illegal.”
FLIPPING SHOULD BE ILLEGAL.
Yeah, fun fact: “flipping” used to be illegal in Italy, which is why they were unable to prosecute the Mafia for a very long time. Hey, remember how James Comey compared Trump to a “mob boss?” LOL BUT IT’S NOT FUNNY AT ALL.
Finally, President Moe Green gave himself an A+ for his job so far, and said that if he were impeached, the stock market would plummet and everyone would be “poor.” Hey, it’s a chance I’m willing to take.
Elsewhere, David Pecker, the publisher of American Media and the guy who paid off Karen McDougal, was just granted immunity by the Southern District of New York and will corroborate Cohen’s story. This is NOT GOOD for President Mob Boss.
Meanwhile, he’s going to try to distract us with more NFL bullshit and other race-baiting nonsense he learned from Fox News. Don’t fall for it.
And you know who is winning in all of this? No, not Fox News, who had to resort to reporting on the Tooth Fairy rather than talk about Manafort and Cohen, but MSNBC, Rachel Maddow in particular, and Omarosa. Delicious.
Asia Argento’s accuser has finally spoken out, now that TMZ posted the picture of them in bed together as well as text messages between Argento and a friend in which she confirms she had sex with the boy. I’m not linking those TMZ posts because gross.
Ashley Judd, a fellow Weinstein accuser, responds to this ugly story: “Sexual violence is wrong. Full stop.”
Paris Dennard has been suspended as a CNN contributor after sexual harassment allegations from 2014 emerged. Boy, bye.
- RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars has been renewed for a fourth season on VH1.
- Easy was renewed for a third and final season on Netflix.
- Sooooo … Simon Cowell signed a multi-year deal with NBC to continue producing and judging on America’s Got Talent. Does that mean the show has been officially renewed? And if so, for how long?
- Sharon Horgan is bringing another comedy to Amazon.
- A Teacher is being developed for FX and will star Kate Mara.
- The Final Table, Death by Magic, Derren Brown: Sacrifice, Sunderland Till I Die and Flinch have been ordered by Netflix.
- Ohana is being developed at ABC.
- The Sanchez Way is being developed by Mark Consuelos and Kelly Ripa’s production company.
- Save Me, a British crime series starring Lennie James, has been bought by Starz.
- Dylan McDermott and Connie Britton are returning to American Horror Story.
- Hugh Laurie is going to star in Avenue 5 on HBO, the upcoming comedy from Veep creator Armando Iannucci.
- Dana Delaney is replacing Mira Sorvino in CBS’s upcoming series, The Code.
- John Lithgow is your new Roger Ailes.
- Jane Levy is joining What/If on Netflix.
- Lauren Ambrose and Nell Tiger Free (which is an amazing name) are joining M. Night Shyamalan’s upcoming Apple series.
- Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston-Palin will appear on Dancing with the Stars Junior. Gross.
- Tyler Hoechlin will return as Superman for The CW’s big crossover event.
- Kyle Secor is joining the cast of The Flash.
- Dominic Fumusa is joining the cast of The Purge on USA.
- Rochelle Aytes will recur on Hawaii Five-0.
- Eva Longoria and Michael Pena have been cast as Dora’s parents in the Dora the Explorer movie. Which isn’t technically TV news, but I do what I want.
Mark Your Calendars
- It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia returns on FXX on September 5. SO SOON!
- The Man in the High Castle will return on Amazon on October 5.
- I mentioned yesterday that Alyssa Edwards had been cast in a Netflix docuseries, Dancing Queen, but I didn’t realize it was Drag Race + Dance Moms. THIS LOOKS AMAZING AND IT DEBUTS ON OCTOBER 5.
- Snatch returns on Sony Crackle on September 13.
- Ghost Adventures is taking over the Travel Channel in October, with a four-part miniseries and a live Halloween episode.
- Our Cartoon President will air an election special on November 4. Hey, are you registered to vote?
- Sirens will return to Freeform in January.
- Below Deck will return on Bravo on September 6.
- Scariest Night of My Life will debut on Travel Channel on September 9.
- Katie’s New Face: A Family’s Journey will air on National Geographic on August 25.
- Chris Jericho: Monster Hunt will air on Travel Channel on October 10.
- August 28 will debut on OWN on, appropriately enough, August 28.
- Paranormal Survivor returns on Travel Channel on September 9.
- My Lottery Dream Home will debut on HGTV on September 21.
- Most Terrifying Places in America returns on Travel Channel on September 30.
- ID is previewing a whole bunch of shows on Monday, September 3. Read about them all here.
- Sofia the First: Forever Royal premieres on Disney Junior on September 8.
- Trans Am will debut on Discovery on October 2.
- Double Take will premiere on Facebook Watch on September 5.
- No One Would Tell will air September 16.
- Conrad and Michelle: If Words Could Kill will air September 23.
- Believe Me September 30.
- The Girl in the Bathtub on October 7.
- Terror in the Woods on October 13.
Trial & Error: The season — and most likely series if they can’t find a new home — finale. I have my problems with this little show, but damned if it didn’t grow on me. 8 p.m., NBC
American Woman: Similarly, I began recording this show because of its connection to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and I didn’t like it but then I have watched every episode so who is the real dummy here? Season finale. 9 p.m., Paramount
Follow This: Buzzfeed shows how they make the buzz. Netflix
The Goonies & Night Flight: IFC is doing back-to-back airings of The Goonies and the classic 80s series Night Flight for your nostalgic pleasure. 6:30 p.m., IFC
Late Night: Conan: Joel McHale, Giancarlo Esposito, White Denim
|ABC||The Gong Show
|The Story of the Royals — Part 2
|CBS||The Big Bang Theory
|FOX||NFL Preseason: Eagles at Browns
|NBC||KPRC Fall Football Guide
|Trial & Error
|Trial & Error
|Law & Order: SVU