News is terrible and depressing so I give you the perfect Nick Offerman pun.

I was going to lead this post with the updates on the Asia Argento news which is not getting any better — see below — but the story is so bleak and so filled with pain and sadness already and it does not feel like it can possibly end well for anyone and who needs to start their Tuesday thinking about that kind of thing, especially if one’s Tuesday began by sending their baby off to their first day of their senior year of high school and so one is already thinking about the unstoppable march of time and the inevitability of death so instead we are going to start with this just very very good tweet by the undisputed King of Puns, Nick Offerman:

You are welcome.

Josie Totah, the actress who was billed as J.J. Totah while starring on Champions (and was absolutely the best thing on a very sweet little series), has come out as transgender in a very personal essay. Congratulations and good luck to her.

Doctor Who has hired a number of women and people of color to write and direct this season.

American Horror Story: Apocalypse has revealed the first two episode titles: “The End” and “The Morning After.”

There are many places I never want to go, and inside Bobby Brown’s mind is absolutely one of them.

According to Mr. Robot himself, the series may go “four or five” seasons, so.

This is an in-depth look at what other media companies are doing to compete with Netflix, complete with lots of pretty graphs and numbers.

Double Dare is going on the road with live shows.

Jon Stewart is good people.

Madonna, not so much.

Nothing ever ends.

Time’s Up

The Asia Argento story continues. Argento just released a statement denying that she had sex with Jimmy Bennett, her accuser, and says that Anthony Bourdain paid him off. She does not explain the photo of the two of them topless in bed. This is all so gross and terrible.

Tarana, the founder of #MeToo wrote that there is no “model survivor:”

The Los Angeles District Attorney’s office is trying to reach out to Argento’s accuser.

Argento is a judge on Italy’s version of X-Factor — but maybe not for long.

Harvey Weinstein’s attorney had some thoughts on the story. You’ll be shocked to learn they were not sympathetic.

In other news, more former Miss Americas have called for Gretchen Carlson to step down as the head of the organization.

Mario Batali and the New York City restaurant The Spotted Pig are under investigation for sexual harassment. And just as a general rule, if your organization as a room that is nicknamed, “the rape room,” maybe it’s time to lawyer up.

Here’s an explanation of why Billionaire Boys Club — the Kevin Spacey movie that made a whopping $618 in theaters this weekend — was even in movie theaters in the first place. Makes sense.

Oh, Bianca Del Rio, no.


In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • American Vandal: Attack of the Turd Burglar will debut on Netflix on September 14. AND I CAN NOT WAIT.
  • Jane Fonda in Five Acts will air on HBO on September 24.
  • The Good Doctor will return on ABC on September 24.
  • Press will air on Masterpiece Theater sometime next year.

Hallmark has announced six new movies:

  • Truly, Madly, Sweetly will air on September 22.
  • All of My Heart will air September 29.
  • Falling for You on October 6.
  • Under the Autumn Moon on October 13.
  • Love, Of Course on October 20.
  • Good Witch on October 21.


Bachelor in Paradise: Oh dear, looks like Kendall might be wooed away by Leo. 7 p.m., ABC

Betty White: The First Lady of Television: A profile of the wonderful Betty White who — and somehow I didn’t know this — is “the first woman to produce a national TV show, the first woman to star in a sitcom, the first producer to hire a female director,” was among the first women to be nominated for an Emmy, and was the first woman to win an Emmy for Outstanding Game Show Host. GO BETTY! 7 p.m., PBS

Mr. Rogers: It’s You I Like: Keep the nice-times going with this documentary hosted by Michael Keaton — who appeared on Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood back in the 70s apparently? I AM LEARNING SO MANY THINGS. 8:30 p.m., PBS

Animal Kingdom: Season finale. 8 p.m., TNT

Late Night: Conan: Bob Odenkirk, Zach Cregger, Shooter Jennings


TUES. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Bachelor in Paradise
NCIS: New Orleans
CW The Flash
The Outpost
FOX Beat Shazam
Love Connection
NBC America’s Got Talent
Making It

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