The new ‘The Walking Dead’ key art has inspired the perfect ‘Walking Dead’ prequel.

Ahead of Comic-Con, AMC has released key art for The Walking Dead and Fear the Walking Dead. As you can see from the header picture above, Rick got a haircut and The Walking Dead seems to be going to Washington D.C. — which, considering it is literally ACROSS THE RIVER from Alexandria, Virginia, GEE, TOOK YOU GUYS LONG ENOUGH.

I have to be honest: the idea of Washington D.C. being overrun with zombies is one of the few things that has given me real joy in the last few weeks. Congress having their fucking faces eaten off is The Walking Dead spinoff we need and deserve, AMC. In these divided times, can you think of a single thing that would bring this country together more effectively than watching Ted Cruz having his innards eaten by a pack of starving zombies? Hell, I’m even willing to be bipartisan about this and say that we can turn Bernie Sanders into a zombie and/or feature a scene where Nancy Pelosi gets swarmed by a herd — just so long as long as Ted. Cruz. has. his. innards. eaten. IT’S IMPORTANT FOR THE FUTURE OF OUR COUNTRY, AMC.

Meanwhile, the cast of Fear the Walking Dead appear to be in the new Sharknado movie:

As predicted, Trump hired the reprehensible Bill Shine — the guy who covered up sexual harassment at Fox News for twenty years — as the White House communications director. His years of blackmail, intimidation, and payoffs for women attacked by Bill O’Reilly and Roger Ailes was one of the bullet points on his resume, I’m sure. I mean, his boss was openly mocking #MeToo just last night.

Meanwhile, some people aren’t happy about the hire. GEE, WHY? MAYBE BECAUSE GRETCHEN CARLSON FILED HER LAWSUIT AGAINST ROGER AILES LITERALLY TWO YEARS AGO TODAY?

BET is going to solve Tupac’s murder.

Children’s animated programming had its first same-sex marriage proposal this week.

Hey, one of the shitty Big Brother contestants said the N-word on live TV last night. SHUT IT DOWN, CBS.

This is how GLOW made the wonderful episode-within-an-episode.

Marti Noxon is sorry about killing Tara on Buffy about 15 years too late.

Everyone thinks it’s hilarious that James Woods was dropped by his agent for being a racist asshole because it is.

Get well soon, Elvis Costello.

Renewals

In Development

Casting News

  • Jahkara Smith (aka Sailor J) is joining the cast of NOS4A2 on AMC. Here’s one of her amazing YouTube videos that you absolutely should watch:

Mark Your Calendar

R.I.P.

Ed Schultz, Political talk show host on RT and formerly of MSNBC

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

12 Monkeys: Cole must complete his cycle in the season finale. 9 p.m., Syfy

Anne with an E: Anne from Green Gables returns. Season two. Netflix

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee: Jerry Lewis, Dana Carvey, Kate McKinnon, Alec Baldwin, Brian Regan, Ellen DeGeneres, Zach Galifianakis, John Mulaney, Dave Chappelle, Neal Brennan, Tracy Morgan, and Hasan Minhaj. Season 10 premiere. Netflix

SATURDAY

Me, Myself & I: CBS is finally burning off the remaining episodes of this Not Terrible sitcom that died a quick death last fall. 7 p.m., CBS

Living Biblically: This one, too. 8 p.m., CBS

SUNDAY

Sharp Objects: Amy Adams and Patricia Clarkson star in this miniseries based on the Gillian Flynn novel. Series premiere. 8 p.m., HBO

The 2000s: A look at the early part of this just super terrific century we’re enjoying. The premiere episode looks at the Golden Age of Television, something we know a little bit about in these parts. Series premiere. 8 p.m., CNN

Evel Live: Travis Pastrana will recreate — and surpass — three of Evel Knievel’s iconic stunts in this three-hour special. 7 p.m., History

 

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ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
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Truth and Lies: Waco News/Local
CBS Me, Myself and I
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Me, Myself and I
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Living Biblically
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48 Hours
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FOX MLB Baseball
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NBC NASCAR
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News/Local Saturday Night Live (repeat)

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
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Celebrity Family Feud
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The $100,000 Pyramid
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To Tell the Truth
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NCIS: Los Angeles
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FOX One Strange Rock
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The Simpsons
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Bob’s Burgers
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NBC Running Wild with Bear Grylls
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America’s Got Talent
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Shades of Blue
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