Oh, lord, Roseanne Barr is threatening us with another show. “I’ve already been offered so many things and I almost already accepted one really good offer to go back on TV and I might do it. But we’ll see,” she said on Rabbi Shmuley Boteach’s podcast. And Barr still hasn’t apologized to Valerie Jarrett. SO HOW ABOUT WE COOL IT WITH THE ROSEANNE PITCHES UNTIL SHE DOES THE BARE FUCKING MINIMUM.
Roseanne also claims that she didn’t ask for anything in the spinoff negotiations because she’s such a goddamned hero.
Entertainment Weekly hosted a Breaking Bad reunion, ahead of their Comic-Con reunion, here are some of the highlights:
Bryan Cranston’s favorite Breaking Bad moment is unexpected — but perhaps the most shocking moment of the entire series. I, for one, am still traumatized.
The attacks on Skylar from the fans — and by extension of Anna Gunn — were surprising to the cast and crew, but not to ANY WOMAN EVER.
Vince Gilligan wants a Walt and Jesse cameo on Better Call Saul as much as you do.
This isn’t from the Entertainment Weekly piece, but Bob Odenkirk tackles some Better Call Saul theories, leaving one intriguing possibility alive.
Related: Vince Gilligan and Caroline Strauss (one of Game of Thrones‘ executive producers) talk about making television in our current political climate and how we might need actual heroes rather than anti-heroes.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is going to be Dennis-less for a while, at least according to the season description:
“The Gang Returns–mostly–in the 13th season of the FXX original comedy series ‘It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.’ Mac (Rob McElhenney), Charlie (Charlie Day), Dee (Kaitlin Olson) and Frank (Danny DeVito) return to their duplicitous, scheming ways at Paddy’s Pub, while Dennis (Glenn Howerton) takes on the new role of father in North Dakota…Even without Dennis Reynolds, the Gang has its hands full as Charlie hopes to have a child with The Waitress, Mac sets out to understand his newfound sexuality, Dee takes feminism to new heights, and Frank goes to great lengths for the Gang to experience the greatest moment in Philadelphia sports history – an Eagles Super Bowl victory.”
I just started watching this season of GLOW last night and before I knew it, I had binged four episodes — the fourth episode being the most heartbreaking so far (that said, I still have six more to go). Anyway, Kia Stevens, who plays Tamme, who is, of course, “Welfare Queen” is a goddamned miracle in this episode.
Also, GLOW’s Keith is the best. Men, be more like Keith. [Link is spoilery.]
If you haven’t watched the RuPaul’s Drag Race finale yet, go no further. But PETA is SO MAD at Asia O’Hara, whereas I just feel bad for her. Nice idea in theory, but there’s an old saying about working with kids and animals. Meanwhile, after she won, the winner spent her evening with one Miss Sonja Morgan.
Brilliant new career idea: I’m going to become a social media detective for network television and charge them millions of dollars to just poke around reality show contestants twitter accounts for them SINCE THEY SEEM COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF DOING IT FOR THEMSELVES.
Here are pictures from the upcoming Amazon series Homecoming which stars Julia Roberts and appears to have been shot in Dr. Melfi’s office in The Sopranos?
Snowpiercer is somehow becoming more of a mess: now the director is pissed at the new showrunner and has quit.
Zoolander from this season of The Bachelorette says that he’s found love on Bachelor in Paradise. No one has had the heart to tell him that its a mirror.
After 24 years, Brian Ross is leaving ABC News following the dust-up that happened over his Michael Flynn reporting. Wow.
In other Trump/media news:
The President said that journalists shouldn’t be murdered — so I’m glad he cleared that up — but he also wouldn’t say whether or not he’d stop calling the press “the enemy of the people.”
CNN didn’t censor a Capital Gazette reporter when she said, “I’m gonna need more than a couple days of news coverage and some thoughts and prayers because it’s — our whole lives have been shattered. And so thanks for your prayers, but I couldn’t give a fuck about them if there’s nothing else.” This led to Marco Rubio clutching his pearls on twitter about a profanity when the ACTUAL PROFANITY IS ACCEPTING MONEY FROM AN ORGANIZATION THAT ADVOCATES FLOODING OUR COUNTRY WITH GUNS, YOU FUCKING THIN-SKINNED MONSTER.
Before we get started on the #MeToo stuff, we have to talk about Nanette for a second. I recently watched Nanette, the Netflix stand-up special by Tasmanian comedian Hannah Gadsby, and I haven’t been able to shake it since. It’s ostensibly a comedy special, but late in the piece, you realize that it is actually a statement about comedy and the limitations of the medium to address real pain and trauma. It is funny — I don’t want to scare you off, because it is very funny — but it is also raw, and heartbreaking, and profound, and devestating and brilliant and unlike any stand-up comedy you’ve ever seen. Gadsby, whom I had never heard of before watching Nanette, is both guarded and vulnerable, bemused and furious, clearly an extrovert, but maybe one of the most introverted people you’ll ever see with their own Netflix special. She originally started performing Nanette a year and a half ago, but it feels custom tailored for this Time’s Up moment. Anyway, go watch it once you find a moment when you feel ready to laugh but also have some DAMN TRUTH DROPPED ON YOU, and once you’re done, here’s a guide to her work before Nanette.
Andy Dick has been charged with sexual battery in the least surprising story of all time.
Ron Jeremy has been sued by a woman accusing him of sexual assault.
Tool singer Maynard James Keenan has been accused of rape, he calls the allegations, “despicable.”
Terry Crews has some things to say to his critics:
And the cast and crew of Brooklyn Nine-Nine have Crews’ back — which, knowing the cast and crew of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, is hardly surprising.
- Claws and Animal Kingdom have been renewed at TNT.
- Champions has been canceled at NBC. It’s the last network series waiting to hear its fate (that is not a game show). The producers are trying to shop the series around.
- Six has been canceled at History.
- Hugh Hewitt’s MSNBC show has been canceled. Good riddance.
- Weird City, an anthology series from Jordan Peele, has been ordered by YouTube.
- Midnight’s Children is being developed by Netflix.
- Halo, a live-action series based on the game, is coming to Showtime.
- HBO has greenlit the spy drama Oblivious.
- Panic, The Wilds & College have been ordered by Amazon.
- F*#! That with Vince Staples is coming to Snapchat.
- John Malkovich is joining The New Pope. !!!!!!!!!!!
- IMPORTANT: George Hamilton will appear on General Hospital as Colonel Sanders, OBVIOUSLY.
- Tom Mison, Frances Fisher, Jacob Ming-Trent, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II and Sara Vickers have joined Watchmen.
- Keegan-Michael Key is joining the cast of Dolemite is My Name! on Netflix.
- Chris Noth and Nat Faxon are joining Catastrophe.
- Cybill Shepherd, Edward Norton, Kevin Pollak, Dom Irrera, Nikki Glaser, Lil Rel Howery will be on Bruce Willis’ roast.
- Ismael Cruz Cordova is joining Berlin Station.
- Noah Mills is joining The Enemy Within.
- Sheridan Pierce and Raúl Castillo are joining One Day at a Time.
- RJ Mitte and Grace Victoria Cox are joining Now Apocalypse.
- Eugenio Derbez is going to guest star on Elena of Alavor.
Mark Your Calendar
- Tuesday, September 4: Mayans MC (FX)
- Wednesday, September 5: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FXX)
- Sunday, September 9: Rel
- Wednesday, September 12: American Horror Story (FX)
- Sunday, September 23: 9-1-1
- Monday, September 24: The Resident
- Tuesday, September 25: The Gifted & Lethal Weapon
- Wednesday, September 26: Empire & Star
- Thursday, September 27: Thursday Night Football
- Friday, September 28: Last Man Standing, The Cool Kids, and Hell’s Kitchen
- Sunday, September 30: The Simpsons, Bob’s Burgers, and Family Guy
- Sometime in September: Mr. Inbetween (FX)
- Disenchantment debuts on Netflix on August 15.
- The Real Housewives of Dallas returns on Bravo on August 15.
- Keeping up with the Kardashians returns on E! on August 5.
- One Dollar will premiere on CBS All Access on August 30.
- Jersey Shore Family Vacation returns on MTV in August.
- America to Me will debut on Starz on August 26 — and it looks powerful.
- The Venture Bros. returns on Adult Swim on August 5.
- Barnwood Builders returns on DIY on July 15.
- Bad Henry will debut on Investigation Discovery on July 4.
- Jeff Lynne’s ELO: Wembley or Bust will debut on Showtime on July 27.
- The Purge will debut on USA on September 4.
Harlan Ellison, Science fiction giant
Daniel Pilon, Actor on Dallas, Guiding Light and Ryan’s Hope
Mike Cappotelli, WWE wrestler, winner of Tough Enough
Liliane Montevecchi, Actress
Peter Firmin, British TV producer
The Bachelorette: Foolish’s own Whitney tried to get into the audience of one of tonight’s dates in Richmond, but, alas … 7 p.m., ABC
The Rape of Recy Taylor: In 1944, Recy Taylor, an African-American woman, was gang-raped by a group of six white men in Alabama, and instead of being silenced, she identified her attackers. The NAACP sent Rosa Parks to investigate the case. This is a documentary about these women’s stories and how they helped influence the civil rights movement — and today’s #MeToo movement. 8 p.m., Starz
|Man with a Plan
|CW||Penn & Teller: Fool Us
|Whose Line is it Anyway?
|Whose Line is it Anyway?
|FOX||So You Think You Can Dance
|NBC||Running Wild with Bear Grylls
|American Ninja Warrior