I’ll get to TV news, promise, but first we have to talk about how the pee tape is definitely real.

According to the Comey memos, in an attempt to discredit the Steele Dossier — specifically the part that claimed he had Russian prostitutes in his room, peeing on the bed the Obamas had slept in — The Piss-Play-Enthusiast-in-Chief told James Comey that he didn’t spend the night in Moscow on his trip there for the Miss Universe Pageant. HEY GUESS WHAT, HE LIED. The pee pee tape is real.

I will also pause to note that President Liar’s claim that he didn’t spend the night in Moscow had already been discredited by his bodyguard Keith Schiller when he testified before Congress in November. According to sources, Schiller told Congress that at a business meeting, a “Russian participant” offered to send five women to Trump’s Moscow Ritz-Carlton hotel room, but Schiller thought it was “a joke.”

That night, two sources said, Schiller said he discussed the conversation with Trump as Trump was walking back to his hotel room, and Schiller said the two men laughed about it as Trump went to bed alone. Schiller testified that he stood outside Trump’s hotel room for a time and then went to bed.

One source noted that Schiller testified he eventually left Trump’s hotel room door and could not say for sure what happened during the remainder of the night.

THE PEE PEE TAPE IS REAL.

As predicted, the Sean Hannity story is starting to become interesting. Still no evidence that Hannity did anything illegal here, but he certainly was in bed with people who were doing illegal things — and he indirectly benefitted. Stay tuned.

Allison Mack, that culty Smallville actress who was just arrested for being culty, tried to recruit Emma Watson and Kelly Clarkson to her sex cult. Somehow, she wasn’t successful.

If you are interested in learning about the networks’ fall seasons (including what shows have been renewed and canceled), mark your calendars for the week of May 14:

  • NBC’s upfronts are on Monday, May 14 at 9:30 a.m.
  • Fox’s Monday, May 14 at 3 p.m.
  • ABC’s will be Tuesday, May 15 at 3 p.m.
  • CBS’s Wednesday, May 16 at 3 p.m.
  • The CW on Thursday, May 17 at 10 a.m.

Here are all the FAKE NEWS outlets that won Peabody Awards.

Aaron Sorkin is threatening to make that West Wing reboot — just as soon as he comes up with the right idea for it.

After some 37 years, Bruce Campbell is retired from Ash. Sigh.

Here are some long-distance shots of Game of Thrones sets if that is a thing you are interested in.

A little-needed love for Brooklyn Nine-Nine, which is currently in the cancelation danger zone.

Alright, one last Jane the Virgin theory that hadn’t been mentioned: amnesia! And here are a few more Westworld notes and theories, some which I don’t think were mentioned in the links I posted yesterday. Hosts in the outside world? MAYBE.

Get well soon, Leslie Charleston!

Get well soon, Jim Avila!

Ratings

  • The Crossing is probably doomed on ABC.
  • Taken is essentially canceled at NBC.
  • Lethal Weapon is a toss-up thanks to that report about Clayne Crawford being an asshole.
  • Ransom is beneath the Cancel Bear’s consideration, apparently.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • The Oscars will air on February 24, nominations will be announced January 22.
  • The Rain debuts on Netflix on May 4.

R.I.P.

Bob Dorough, “Schoolhouse Rock!” performer and writer

Joan Konner, TV Producer

Charles Bohl, Screenwriter and producer

Philip D’Antoni, Producer

WATCH THIS

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Let the reunion begin. 8 p.m., Bravo

The 100: Clarke’s space friends find a beacon of hope in the season premiere. 8 p.m., The CW

Genius: Antonio Banderas is Picasso. Antonio Banderas looks nothing like Picasso. Season premiere. 8 p.m., Nat Geo

First Civilizations: An exploration of early civilizations — the premiere episode examines how “war destroys lives but creates civilizations.” 8 p.m., PBS

Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Kevin James, Questlove, Sigrid Late Night with Seth Meyers: Ice-T, Sarah Kendzior, Sarah Tomek The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Hank Azaria, Ronan Farrow, Grace VanderWaal The Late Late Show with James Corden: Anthony Mackie, Judy Greer, Snow Patrol Jimmy Kimmel Live: Mark Ruffalo, Scarlett Johansson, Tom Hiddleston, Danai Gurira, Dave Bautista, Bleachers Conan: Zach Braff, Alia Shawkat, Andrew W.K. The Daily Show: Jonah Goldberg The Opposition with Jordan Klepper: Justin Simien Watch What Happens Live: Kelly Ripa, Mark Consuelos

 

TUES. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Roseanne
(new)
The Middle
(new)
black-ish
(new)
Splitting Up Together
(new)
For the People
(new)
CBS NCIS
(new)
Bull
(new)
NCIS: New Orleans
(new)
CW The Flash
(new)
Black Lightning
(new)
Local
FOX Lethal Weapon
(new)
L.A. to Vegas
(new)
New Girl
(new)
News/Local
NBC The Voice
(new)
Rise
(new)
Chicago Med
(new)
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3 thoughts on “I’ll get to TV news, promise, but first we have to talk about how the pee tape is definitely real.

  1. Since you have the hook ups, here is the plot summary for a West Wing reboot that you can send along to Sorkin:

    Will Bailey, having been elected to the Oregon 4th in 2008 has moved up significantly in the political world. His campaign for president is now in full swing, and he realizes that he needs the best team possible to stop the re-election of an egotistical, narcissistic, racist, misogynistic billionaire with a populist message. Drawing on his experience in the Bartlett administration, he assembles a dream team of his old colleagues for an all-or-nothing last shot at saving the country.

    As a former president, Jeb will serve as an unofficial adviser to the team, helping in anyway he can through back channels to avoid tainting the campaign or appearing to greatly favor Bailey’s campaign.

    Josh has had his ups and downs since we last saw him, a political veteran now working in the private sector and disenchanted with politics. Toby has also lost all love for politics, and both now co-host a podcast that mirrors the views of Alex Jones, but from the liberal perspective. Almost like conspiracy theorists but with credentials to back them up.

    CJ is also in the private sector now – however, after seeing her husband almost charged and almost jailed for practicing his first amendment rights as a journalist, she sees the need to join the campaign and eventually serve in the cabinet.

    Charlie has continued his upward trajectory in politics, but will appear as an unexpected ally of the populist movement, arguing that current politics have never empowered him or people like him – he needs a change. Starts as an antagonist but eventually joins the team when he realizes that hope is not lost.

    Donna has also continued in politics, but worked on the campaign for a female candidate that lost in a close race that disenfranchised her view of the political climate. Bailey’s campaign reignites her fire, and she plays an integral role in helping the campaign to victory, especially among women, along with Annabeth as an unlikely ally.

    Finally, Sam has drifted through politics as both an operative and an elected official, and will prove to be a significant player in the current political climate, with an option for the character to be used frequently or occasionally (per Rob Lowe’s usually M.O.)

    Of course we would see cameos from our favorites, like Lily Tomlin and Mary McCormack, with options to expand their roles just like the original West Wing did.

    Okay. I spent entirely too much time on something stupid, but WAS IT THAT HARD, Aaron? No. Now come on and give me my new West Wing, dammit.

    Like

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