Someone was up early this morning thinking big thoughts about Alec Baldwin!
First of all, it needs to be noted that the tweet above is an edited and spellchecked version of the original tweet which was just fucking hilarious:
To be fair, I’m actually impressed he knows how to spell “mediocre,” especially since he can’t get “dying” right.
So, what is this nonsense all about? No, you didn’t miss an episode of Saturday Night Live. Alec Baldwin is debuting a new talk show on ABC following the Oscars on Sunday, and in advance of it, Baldwin gave an interview to The Hollywood Reporter. I mentioned it in yesterday’s post in reference to the bullshit he had to say about the #MeToo movement, in which he defended his defending of sex predators as being “normal.” Fuck off, Alec Baldwin.
In this same interview, he said portraying Trump is “agony.”
Every time I do it now, it’s like agony. Agony. I can’t. If things don’t go in the right direction for the midterms. … I could go out on the street, stand on any corner and tap 10 people on the shoulder. And all 10 of them, in all likelihood, would be more qualified — ethically, morally, intellectually and spiritually — than Trump. I’ll vote for Mitt Romney. I don’t care. Anybody over this guy. It doesn’t matter. We have to get rid of him. And that’s another project I’m working on. I was the keynote speaker at the Democratic Dinner in Iowa, and I’m gonna go do a couple more of those this year. My wife and I agreed that we’re gonna give it everything we have. And then if, God forbid, he wins again in 2020, I’m wondering can I host a game show in Spain.
And then Fox & Friends got their hands on this story and did a segment on it. This, of course, is how President DVR heard about it because he sure as shit didn’t read the piece itself.
I suppose I should be more generous with President Binge-Watcher: things are dark at the White House for him these days, what with Hope Hicks leaving, Jared and Ivanka in trouble for financial shenanigans and probably on their way out the door, too, nobody liking his tariff announcement, the NRA telling him he doesn’t mean the things he says and believes, and Mueller closing in on him. Maybe I should just let Grampy watch his Fox News and find whatever pleasure he can from yelling at the handsome man who plays a bizarro version of himself. To be honest, it’s far better to have him picking meaningless fights with actors on Twitter than allowing him to actually do his real job.
Meanwhile, somewhere Darrell Hammond is sitting his Trump wig, waiting for the phone to ring.
The cable news wars are becoming as heated as the East Coast/West Coast rivalry back in the 90s. Let’s hope Anderson Cooper and Sean Hannity aren’t the next Tupac and Biggie.
Who’s going to be the next Bachelorette? We’ll find out next week, but I can tell you right now it ain’t gonna be Seinne, Bekah or Kendall, as much as I would like one of those three to be it.
Scott M. Gimple “shan’t even entertain the thought” of losing Lauren Cohan on The Walking Dead. She’s not going anywhere.
Hey, remember how that murdering monster O.J. Simpson wrote that book If I Did It back in 2007? Well, he also gave an interview to the publisher of the book, Judith Regan, at the time, but Fox decided to not air it because gross. However, for reasons that are super unclear, they are suddenly going to air it on Sunday, March 11, which just happens to be the same day that American Idol will debut on ABC.
Speaking of American Idol, they’ve lined up Luis Fonsi, Bebe Rexha, Cam, Toni Braxton, and Pat Monahan to do duets with the finalists. Sucks to be the finalist who gets stuck with Pat Monahan.
Hey, Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway are going to present the Best Picture Oscar again. What could go wrong?
Oh dear, Tori Spelling is maybe having a nervous breakdown, possibly because she’s hanging out with the likes of Corrine Olympios?
Tammy Sytch, also known as WWE Hall of Famer Sunny, seems like a handful.
#MeToo News
Jimmy Kimmel is definitely going to bring #MeToo into his Oscars monologue, because how could he not? Also, there is going to be a “moment” carved out of the ceremony to acknowledge the movement.
Aly Raisman is suing the U.S. Olympic Committee. GOOD.
A company that has Bill Maher as a major investor is being sued by a woman who claims she was fired after she tried to organize African-American employees to seek diversity initiatives after Bill Maher used the N-word on Real Time.
Time’s Up has raised $21 million dollars and heard from 1,700 women from all backgrounds in its first 60 days.
Pamela Anderson is claiming that Harvey Weinstein “bullied” her into being in a bad movie, but that she still wants men to be “passionate and aggressive and make the first move.” Ugh, no, stop.
Renewals
Cancellations
- Oath has canceled The Morning Breath after it came out that the stars’ mother is the detestable Pamela Geller.
In Development
- Hasan Minhaj is getting his own talk show on Netflix.
- The pilot for Man of the House, starring Alyson Hannigan, has been ordered by ABC.
- Dr. Pimple Popper is coming to TLC. Gross.
- PBS has acquired the documentary Dark Money.
- Ballmastrz: 9009 has been bought by Adult Swim.
- Catherine the Great series Velikaya and Rasputin series Grigory R are coming to Amazon Prime.
- Paul Feig has signed a deal with Lionsgate TV.
Casting News
- Christina Aguilera will be a judge on the premiere of RuPaul’s Drag Race.
- Kelly Marie Tran will star in Sorry for Your Loss on Facebook Watch.
- Jim Belushi will star in the ABC pilot Salvage.
- Bebe Neuwirth will guest star on The Good Fight.
- Sarah Wayne Callies, Shawn Doyle, Michael Shanks and Camille Sullivan have been cast in the Sundance miniseries, Unspeakable.
- Josh Helman has been cast in The End of the World As We Know It on The CW.
- Zeeko Zaki is the star of CBS’ pilot F.B.I. Related: “Zeeko Zaki” is fun to say.
- Sheaun McKinney and Marcel Spears have been cast in CBS comedy pilot Welcome to the Neighborhood.
- Noel Fisher and Michael Patrick Thornton have been cast in CBS pilot Red Line.
- Ben Aldridge is joining the CW pilot Skinny Dip.
- Luke Arnold has been cast in ABC’s pilot For Love.
- Athena Karkanis and Parveen Kaur are joining the cast of NBC’s Manifest.
- Chosen Jacobs has joined Castle Rock.
- Samantha Logan has been cast in The CW’s football pilot.
- Lane Neil (not to be confused with Neil Lane) is joining the cast of CBS All Access’ Strange Angel.
Mark Your Calendar
- Sweetbitter will premiere on Starz on May 6.
- The Real Housewives of New York City will return on Bravo on April 4.
- All or Nothing will premiere on Amazon on April 27.
- Beyond the Opposite Sex will premiere on Showtime on March 16.
- Iron Chef Gauntlet returns on Food Network on April 4.
- The Golden State Killer: It’s Not Over will premiere on ID on March 5.
R.I.P.
Bruce Margolis, Producer and 20th Century Fox TV Executive
Harvey Schmidt, Composer
WATCH THIS
FRIDAY
MasterChef Junior: The kids are back to make you feel shitty about your knife skills. Season premiere. 7 p.m., Fox
Once Upon a Time: The final chapter begins. Mid-season premiere. 7 p.m., ABC
Frontline: A look at that monster Harvey Weinstein. 8 p.m., PBS
SATURDAY
Saturday Night Live Sir Charles and Migos 10:30 p.m., NBC
Alien: Covenant: It’s not supposed to be great, but I had to put down something. Watch Netflix. 7 p.m., HBO
SUNDAY
The Academy Awards: The fanciest of the fancy awards ceremonies. Red Carpet begins at 5:30, Ceremony at 7 p.m., ABC
The Good Fight: Season two. CBS All Access
Crashing: I’m enamored of this sweet little series based on Pete Holmes’ life. Season finale. 9:30 p.m., HBO
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Lin-Manuel Miranda, “Weird Al” Yankovic, Macaulay Culkin, U.S. Men’s Olympic Curling Champions, Francis and the Lights The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): Steve Buscemi, Sebastian Maniscalco
| FRI. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | Once Upon a Time (new) |
Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (new) |
20/20 (new) |
| CBS | MacGyver (new) |
Hawaii Five-0 (new) |
Blue Bloods (new) |
| CW | iZombie (repeat) |
Jane the Virgin (new) |
Local |
| FOX | MasterChef Junior (new) |
Local |
| NBC | Blindspot (new) |
Taken (new) |
Dateline (new) |
—
| SAT. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 | 10:00 | 10:30 | 11:00 | 11:30 |
| ABC | NBA Basketball | News/Local |
| CBS | NCIS: Los Angeles (repeat) |
48 Hours (repeat) |
48 Hours (new) |
News/Local |
| FOX | MasterChef (repeat) |
Showtime at the Apollo (repeat) |
News/Local |
| NBC | NHL Hockey (new) |
Saturday Night Live (Charles Barkley & Migos) |
—
| SUN. | 6:00 | 6:30 | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | The Oscars (new) |
| CBS | 60 Minutes (new) |
Wisdom of the Crowd (repeat) |
NCIS: Los Angeles (repeat) |
Madam Secretary (repeat) |
| FOX | Brooklyn Nine-Nine (repeat) |
Bob’s Burgers (repeat) |
The Simpsons (repeat) |
Ghosted (repeat) |
Family Guy (repeat) |
LA to Vegas (repeat) |
Local/News |
| NBC | Dateline (new) |
Furious 7 (new) |
It truly pains me to admit this, but I think I actually agree with the Orange S***man on this one. I don’t particularly like Alec Baldwin’s Trump either.
Fortunately it is the only time I have ever agreed with Pres. Bad-Hair.
Hammond was better.
He’s not even a good troll which is somehow more annoying. Should have just left it at Alex Baldwin.
EXACTLY.